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Notices
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Recall Notice:
It has come to our attention that certain of our products have
become biologically contaminated. Therefore, we are recalling
all potions of juice having batch number HU4980 (look on the
bottom of the vial). Turn them in at any liquor store, for
return of deposit. - The Yendor Bottling Company
Brad Corsello
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I sadly announce
the death of Merlin the Thaumathurge. He was killed
by a gelatinous cube on the level of the oracle. His items had,
unfortunately, disappeared in a mysterious way.
Dr Jekyll
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For Sale
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Are You tired of being swallowed and pummeled to
your death by those pesky air elementals? Wouldn't You want to,
just for once, have a peaceful picnic admiring
the scenery of the world famous Cloud Bank®?
Well, now You can fulfill your dreams with only
200 zorkmids. Just buy one of our brand-new
Wands of Polymorph® and Your
happiness (and survival) is just one zap away.
Whenever an irritating air elemental tries to bother You, just zap
at it once or twice and Your peace is guaranteed.
You can also extend the useful lifetime of
Your Wand of Polymorph® by purchasing our
Blessed Scroll of
Charging® extension kits for only 300
zorkmids apiece.
Here are some testimonials from our satisfied customers:
I used to die all the time in the Plane of Air by those horrible
elementals, but now I just zap once and the whole problem is
solved. (Wizard, 25 level)
I was worried before arriving at the Plane of Air, but luckily
I had bought a Wand of Polymorph® and a couple extension
kits and my ascension was a breeze. (Samurai, 29 level)
Order Your Wand of
Polymorph®
now, for just 200 zorkmids, and we guarantee
that You won't run out of Your Amulets of Life
Saving® again or double your money
back.
Tommi Syrjanen
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Spare items for sale, cheap: cursed partially
eaten food ration; rusty orcish dagger; about a dozen whistles;
an iron chain; wand of nothing; a cheap plastic imitation of the
Amulet of Yendor; some worthless pieces of glass.
Brad Corsello
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Spare items for sale, cheap: cursed partially
eaten food ration; rusty orcish dagger; about a dozen whistles;
an iron chain; wand of nothing; a cheap plastic imitation of the
Amulet of Yendor; some worthless pieces of glass.
Brad Corsello
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Complete set straps
for small shield. Good quality. Previously
used on b+3]Small Shield. These straps survived a Black Dragon!
Best offer. Leave message for Jannetje at Ansteorra's deli in
Minetown.
Curly++
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1 uncursed +0 gray dragon scale mail,
1 wand of polymorph (1), a
pick-axe and a +5 bullwhip. Visit level 10 for more info, but don't
touch the archeologist corpse, OK?
Dr Jekyll
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Lost and Found
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Found:
a small dog. Answers to name of Idefix. Owner, please pick up, as
he is eating all my tripe rations.
Asidonhopo, General Store, level 2.
Brad Corsello
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Jobs
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The Minetown Digger is looking for correspondents.
Do you have a talent for drawing? Have you always wanted to
write? Join our team and see the underworld!
Travel to places as exotic as Orcustown. Meet
famous people such as Jubilaxe. Be
there when the turn counter reaches 2000010000!
We especially need photograbbers to cover the T2B celebrations
when the turn counter ticks over the two billion mark. Please
contact our
personnel department.
The Minetown Digger is an equal
opportunity employer. Humans may apply.
Curly++
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The Church Of The Non-Aligned Unicorn
desperately needs vestigial virgins willing to dedicate
themselves to the temple. Food and bored, clothing supplied.
Certificate of virginity can be provided if necessary.
Curly++
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WE'RE LOOKING FOR A FEW GOOD MEN!
Join the ranks of Yendorian guards! You'll really turn on the
nurses, dressed in your ring mail and plumed helmet. Rise through
the ranks -- you'll get ahead in the Guard. Dine on delicious
C-rations! Play dice until the next new moon! (Gnomes need not
apply.) - DoD DoD (c/o Captain Grimbuldook, the Castle - just slip
a note under the drawbridge)
Brad Corsello
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Dogcatcher
for the Gnomish Minetown. Must be equipped to handle
vicious dogs before they eat the town guards.
Apply at Izchak's Candle Shop.
David Grabiner
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Wanted
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Shield,
AC 4 or better. Blessed, fireproof a plus. Reflection a
plus-plus! Will pay top zorkmids for top quality equipment! Be
prepared to show how good it is while negotiating price. Send
details to Jannetje-V@nh.rgrn.net
Curly++
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Personals
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To the water nymph
who stole my gray dragon scale mail, on Level 24 -- I'm not mad,
honest. I forgive you. I'm not going to try to kill you. I just
want my armor back. I really need it, honest. Please meet me at
the fountain.
Brad Corsello
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Prayer to Saint Jude:
Intercede with Odin on my behalf and I will make an offering
of 37 zorkmids at the temple. I will look for the answer to
my prayers at the mouth of the ally behind the second fountain,
one hour before midnight. Bring the package.
Curly++
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SVF
seeks companion for repeat visit to Fort Ludios. Must have
experience with black dragons. Alignment important, only neuters
need apply. Leaving from Minetown temple, turns 55000 to 55200.
Come ready to travel and ready to fight!
Curly++
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Missed Connections
Me: Dark eyes, fedora, leather jacket.
You: nice legs, wild hair. Saw you in the sculpture garden. Tried to catch your eye, but froze up. Pls respond via this paper.
Joseph M. Bay
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