Imagoon Goon of the Month

Congratulations (I guess) to

Our very first GOON OF THE MONTH!!!

What we need from all of you is to submit to either James or Rodney a two or three line comment describing anything to do with Barry (i.e. a moment you remember with him, a story you heard...and if you don't know him....you soon will!). Your turn is coming up...so let's have some fun with our first Goon.

I used to think that Barry was some kind of a magician. I'd turn around and
he'd disappear. It turned out that he was just drunk, and so was I. I used
to think Barry was a musician. I'd turn around and he'd be on stage. It
turned out he was just drunk, and so was I.

~Pierre Parent

It took me FAR too long to beat Black Sabbath into that stinkin' Limey's head. Will always be Barry Bumslinger to me (which seems all the more appropriate now that he's come out).

~Bill Foley

I remember a sunny afternoon during a summer long, long ago when Barry and I decided it would be a good idea to go have some Chinese food at the Jade D'Orient in Chateaugeek.

We ate and ate well, of course. We were goons even then, and we knew how to take advantage of a buffet. After seven or eight plates, I called it a meal and cracked my fortune cookie.

Barry said balls to that and kept stuffing his pasty white face. Needless to say, three hours went by and Barry made it as far as the bench outside the restaurant, unable and unwilling to move. We waited another three hours, Barry holding his gut and moaning the whole time, before he could start the ten-minute walk back to his place.

By the way, my fortune cookie read: Eating with pigs does not necessarily make you a pig, just a goon.

~Jason Santerre

I have absolutely nothing bad to say about Barry. He's a great dude, good
friend, charismatic, and has tons of "panache". We could all do well and learn from this man.

~Anonymous
(but I have this nagging suspicion that it may be Barry himself)

I remember the day I first met Barry...

I was walking through a park one fine day, when I came upon a big pile of old newspapers and empty cases of beer. To my surprise the pile began to move!!!

At first I was kind of scared, then I saw a slimey little limey come slithering out of the pile of garbage on his belly. He reached for my leg and I immediately jumped back 2 steps, then started kicking him in the face (hence the broken teeth).

After about 30 seconds of kicking the shit out of him I realized he was sobbing, so I stopped kickin and asked him what was the matter... that was the beginning of a kind of OK friendship.

~Chuck Pownall

First impression ...

Well as the new guy (Barry) at work, I was obligated, it was my duty, to
find out his "story".

We had this engineering open bar party... For some reason he liked the
idea??? FREE BEER WHY NOT!

So I sat with him and asked a few choice questions... he started talking about his son... oh, an ex-girlfriend oh... As I walked away he was still talking about something... I thought "nice guy"... boy was I WRONG... about the NICE part I mean...

Another good story: We convinced him he had no shoes on at Stereo ...he kept checking his feet every 10 minutes...

~Lance Lawrence

I lived with Barry for a period of one year about eight years ago.

I have almost recovered.

~James Clement

Barry touched down in Canada many moons back, and when he arrived he was a loser. I took him under my wing, taught him the art of deception for gain and how to drink for free with Bill and Kent. He learnt well.

~Rodney Galley

Sir Smellsalot,

One summer day there was a large gathering of goons, family and the somewhat respectables.

I was talking with an aunt when a solo Toothy entered sporting a crinkled dress shirt (that was tucked in the night before) and violently rubbing his eyes from dried-up contacts.

After being quickly and blatantly rejected by a Toronto-based cousin, he shrugged his pencil-thin shoulders and was escorted to a seat. It could have been the familiar scent of stale beer or the bizarre "True Brit" funk, but I believe Barry's conclusion that my cousin is a closet lesbian.

I soaked this Elsmore moment in, standing by the altar at St. Andrew's church for John and Karen's wedding.

~Buck

Ah.............Barry! One thing to say about Barry is anytime I saw him hanging around the infamous watering holes, he always managed to have some hottie next to him. Any guys looking for lady tips, consult with Barry, for he is the true BACHELOR!!!

~Kevin Schrotter