Main >> CD, Video >> Playmate Calendar 1997
Video Playmate Calendar 1997
Subject: Review
of 97PMC
From: Arvola William
<arvola@gte.net>
Digest:
volume96/228
Date: Sun, 27 Oct
1996 01:09:59 -0500 (CDT)
My 1997 Video Playmate Calendar arrived. Here's a review. Much like Edgar Rice Burroughs' "Tarzan of the Apes," this review was drafted on the backs of old letterheads to save paper. Unlike Burroughs, I doubt my words will still be read nearly ninety years from now :-)
First, a few general comments. This video has one- or two-sentence Playmate voiceovers at the beginning of each segment. Hearing their voices is a delight, however the sound quality of my tape was somewhat poor. It would sputter and crackle at the most unfortunate of times. I can't fault the VCR since it is brand new and played other tapes both before and after, flawlessly.
A minor gripe is the inordinate amount of what I'll call "hair whipping." The director must have been fond of this little maneuever but I found it reminiscent of a horse irritably chasing away flies with its tail. Those flying tresses can sting!
As before, the numbers are the approximate starting times of each segment in minutes. Each month has one Playmate doing two approximately 90-second segments each.
(01) Title: A montage of selected paper-calendar covers from the past appears. My eye was drawn to DeDe Lind's 1968 calendar cover. Then our featured Playmates are introduced in reverse calendar order with their paper-calendar photo [or a mock-up for those not appearing in the paper version.]
(03) January: Victoria Fuller. Togas, armlets, marble pillars, and statues give this outdoor set a Greco-Roman feeling. Victoria mostly assumes static poses with the only sense of motion coming from windblown toga-cloths. One well-oiled pose comes easily to mind. I risk sounding unchivalrous by saying that I don't find Victoria's face pretty. Her bustline however is well-formed and the camera does seem to hover in this area.
The second segment is much more dynamic with Victoria prancing about indoors in various fashions. Her voiceover manages to simultaneously sound both arrogant and ass-kissing by mentioning her career being jumpstarted by Playboy. Cigarette smoke swirls.
(07) February: Shauna Sand. Flowers and a hovering cello spartanly adorn this woodfloored apartment. Shauna has a California baby-doll voice and very pretty but vapid eyes. That annoying hair-whip occurs. I like girls in hats and Shauna does manage to charm in a flower-bedecked straw one.
The second segment is very airy and features a flaming archway. I wonder if that's Lorenzo's ring? I'm going to be really mean and ask, "Where's the valve for putting more air in her breasts, they seem a bit low?"
(12) March: Donna Perry. Donna has a squeaky voice. A trained seal appears as Donna's sidekick in a white-walled studio barren except for a red ladder and fire hydrant. As usual, I am charmed by piled-up stylish hair. There is one facial shot which makes me ask, "Donna Perry or Donna Michelle?" Intentional, perhaps?
In the second segment, Donna is distressed at the absense of her gentleman. We see him, a blonde construction-worker type, in various video displays along her path. Our hero finally arrives to Donna's obvious delight. By far the most tactile activity of the video occurs. They even work up a sweat.
(17) April: Samantha Torres. Having been somewhat bitchy up to this point, I now transition into a Sam-T lovefest. She's absolutely adorable! I'm talking near Jennifer_Allan-class adorable. Samantha arrives at a western filling station in a vintage 1956ish red Corvette. Her English is clear but accented. She's in constant motion throughout the segment. Her eyes have just a hint of that alien cast that sometimes is detected in her photos. Skintight leopard-spot pants adorn a delicious wiggle. That smile is mesmerizing, she's having fun! Samantha wins this video's award for best outfits, a white polka-dot on-black sundress is beautiful on her! The tan is perfect without a line on her upper body and just the hint of one on her lower. That kiss she blows, I know is intended just for me.
Samantha's second segment pales in comparison to her first. It features a vague witchcraft theme with scrolls and candles. Gold satin sheets brighten an otherwise dark set. There's that hair-whip but I'll forgive her.
(21) May: Karin Taylor. Her voice is in the soprano range. Karin performs an underwater ballet. Normally such exhibitions result in too much facial tension due to having to hold one's breath, however Karin manages to relax her face in at least one shot. A purple scarf is mysteriously abandoned in the water.
In the second segment, a suited hero has rescued the scarf and returns to voyeuristically watch Karin disrobe and climb into bed. She pointedly ignores him. White satin sheets make a nice contrast to Karin's dark hair and skin. She sleeps and our hero lays the scarf gently over her.
(25) June: Holly Witt. A red cap tops off rock-climber Holly. Mostly static poses with the motion coming from the camera. A voyeur with a telescope is our hero for the next segment. The moon is full as Holly models white lingerie. A cute parting wave is the only indication that Holly knows we are looking.
(30) July: Kona Carmack. A girlish figure, minimal makeup, a red lei, and a grass skirt make for a fun day at an island beach. Kona's hoola dancing seems a bit awkward and hesitant. Kona's awful cute but she makes me feel old just looking at her :-)
A mist- and [cigarette] smoke-filled train station form the set for Kona's next appearance. She's all grown up and wearing a lot of makeup. The camera can't seem to stay away from those slender girlish hips. Her voice exposes her youth when it cracks slightly. Her mature tones should prove to be quite beautiful.
(34) August: Heidi Mark. Heidi looks terrible in red and great in black. A bit more eye makeup would be in order.
Did I ask for black? I got black, in the second segment. Black leather pants. Black bra and panties. Black leather S&M harness. Metal chokers. Somebody [off-screen] has been a very bad boy. That razor blade gave me chills! Perfect for Halloween.
(38) September: Alicia Rickter. Brown eyes, black felt choker, brown hair up then down, and burgundy lingerie enchanted this viewer. One pose brought images of Bonnie Marino to mind. There's a titillating strut in white four-inch heels.
In the second segment, the intensity of painter Alicia's face is in marked contrast to the serenity of model Alicia's face [dual image.] The charm of a soft slow sway is broken only by a hair whip. Sigh.
(42) October: Rachel Jean Marteen. Rachel contends with Samantha for best segment! Rachel's voice is near feminine perfection. Her alto tones say, "I a Georgia girl, born and raised...," with the confidence and poise of a goddess, Pallas Athena perhaps? Make mine peaches and Jean :-) This girl is fun! Her camera presence is great. Even in motion, she always knows where it is. A black felt cowgirl hat made this cowboy's heart stop! A delectable wiggle with white panties twirled over head and hurled at camera had this viewer grinning from ear to ear. Could Rachel be left-handed? A sometimes steely gaze makes a rapid-fire transition to a gorgeous smile. The only flaw in the midst of perfection is a tiny but adorable scar on her left hip. This all-too-short 90-second segment ends with Rachel; adorned in jeans, cap, and frilly blousy tube-top; strutting down the street with a parting half-kiss over her left shoulder.
Rachel's second segment commences with a bonnet and white gown. Pale yellow [lingerie] is not Rachel's best color. A see-thru dress and a wiggle in the woods enchants. Did she make that pink lemonade and what is she thinking about instead of drinking it? A good segment overshadowed only by the previous and Samantha's.
(47) November: Gillian Bonner. Gillian's voice is second only to Rachel's in its projection of confidence and maturity, very sexy! Her smile is easy and natural. The tattoos are cuter than expected. My only complaint is that Gillian is a bit pale. Some sun perhaps?
Is that an old warehouse to be explored? In the second segment, Gillian discovers pearls, a gown, and a brass bed. She displays the easy grace of a still-youthful, experienced, but not over-the-hill thirtysomething [like me :-) ] I'll even forgive the navel ring.
(51) December: Stacy Sanches. Stacy's voice is closer to the soprano than I would have guessed. It retains just a hint of Texas twang. Accompanied by two male dancers, Stacy does a horeographed number. She actually appears to have some talent for dancing. While she dances in the foreground, nude images of her appear behind a billowing dark see-thru cloth backdrop. At times there are three of Stacy! This is the only segment where a model's height is evident. Stacy tops both her companions by a hair. Quickly enough Stacy sheds her clothes for some figure studies. Like a general keeping his best troops in reserve, the director waits to give us a clear shot of Stacy's beautiful eyes. It's worth the wait!
The second segment strangely contains no voiceover. A rainy evening at the hacienda is the setting. A slightly damp Stacy poses behind showers of water. Her faithful shadow sways slowly on the wall. The segment closes with those eyes!
(58) Credits. Simple text.
Well, it appears my video princess is Rachel Jean Marteen with two A++'s in this video and W&W-VIII. It appears I'll have to check out "Hot Latin Ladies" to see if Samantha can knock Rachel off her pedestal
:-)
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