Main >> CD, Video >> Biker Babes
Playboy's Biker Babes
Subject: Lukewarm
Training Wheels
From: Arvola William
<arvola@gte.net>
Digest:
volume97/231
Date: Thu, 31 Jul
1997 04:15:22 -0500 (CDT)
As host Tylyn John says in the video "Biker
Babes: Hot Wheels and High Heels," the motorcycle is an American
icon which calls to mind "rugged individualism." 
Well, Tylyn looks pretty rugged in her universally black helmet,
gloves, jacket and choker riding a cycle on which I wouldn't be
surprised to see a sawed-off 12-gauge reclining in a side-scabbard
ala Arnold Schwartzenegger in "Terminator II." Sporting
big smiles, Tylyn appears throughout the video, telling a joke
here, introducing the next segment there; I can't say I was charmed
by her or this video but I wasn't bored either.
In fact all the models displayed big grins, no pouty girls here. And the musical score, appropriately moving into the [heavy] metal range, proved inoffensive. Not being an expert, I won't try to identify all the motorcycles, however the camera did linger over a brand-name or two often enough to suggest commercial support. The camera was a bit more circumspect about finding those naughty bits but girl-girl and girl-girl-girl is found in abundance. In fact, if I were an alien just come to earth and was judging human sexual relations by this video, I would conclude that girls have way more fun keeping to themselves.
As usual, the numbers are the approximate start time of each segment, in minutes.
(02) Intro by Tylyn following by a brief preview of the segments.
(03) "Pool Hall": Interestingly, the credits gave a separate production staff for this segment, suggesting we may see it again in a PM Profile or VidCal. Playmate Nikki Schieler challenges our hero to a game of eightball, the prize a gleaming two-wheeler parked strangely in one corner. As the balls drop, so do the clothes. A nicely shaped blonde, Nikki sports a cute cleft chin and facial lines like Jennifer Allan, so what's missing, I'm not getting any warmth here? Our heroine skillfully sinks the eightball and appropriates the keys while our reluctant and defeated hero doffs his last article of clothing to be left looking foolish in his birthday suit.
(08) "Navy Seals": The score plays a cross between Mission:Impossible and James Bond themes while Agents 96 [blonde] and 69 [brunette] sneak up on the villian via cycle and surf, cloroforming him into unconsciousness. The doughty and naughty agents proceed to photograph the villian in various compromising activities, quite enthusiastically. They depart, scattering incriminating Polaroids about, "mission accomplished."
(13) "Clean Cycle": Primly professional lady photographer shoots a red-toned brunette washing a black-and-silver Titan motorcycle. Actually the model pays more attention to herself and the camera than the bike. I recently ran across the term "wasp-waisted" in describing the human form. If this model doesn't fit that nomenclature, then noone does.
(17) "Space Age Speed": Playmate Karin Taylor shares her fantasy of riding a motorcycle in the nude. Karin's perky smile give this segment quite a bit of warmth though as I watched it I kept thinking, "I know what she looks like naked, let her talk more!!"
(20) "Daytona": Tylyn and PM Danelle Folta schmooze with the crowds during "Bike Week" at Daytona, Florida. Tylyn and Danelle make a nicely matched pair, they should have shown more of them together. Lots of scantily clad unidentified beauties briefly charm before we segue to some skinny-dipping by the same.
(24) "Tattoo Mistress": Don't like tattoos, braids, spiky hair, lizards, snakes, and metal bras; better close your eyes! Tattoos, tattoos, tattoos!! Girl-girl-girl!!! See Python-Girl with her copperplate bra and panties!! Come one, come all!!! Breasts with skull tattoos! Navels with sunbursts! Thighs with encircling ribbons! Bellies with dagger-crosses! And did I mention the tattoos?
(30) "Scooter Ride": In her intro to this segment, Tylyn tacitly admits they may have pushed the envelope with the previous as she now promises us "something a little softer." A tandem scooter ride brings two cuties to a skinny-dipping date. Smiles, giggles, and soft kisses ensue. One girl laments that guys don't take her scooter seriously. However, she thinks she's gotten the last laugh by having herself pierced in a particularly naughty place. I, for one, am not laughing. A chill in the air forces out the towels and the baby oil. The warm sun closes on the girls in a loving spoon position.
(34) "Factory Fun": Tylyn fiddles with her bike as intro. Five beauties do a little dance number in a mock factory assembly line. Their pink outfits are more reminicent of beauticians than factory workers. One blonde is a serious charmer; lose the rest, show more of her!!
(38) "The Presentation": A sales girl vies with a green-and-white Kawasaki Ninja for her clients' attention. Long dark hair contrast with pearls and white lingerie.
(41) "Cross Dresser": Tylyn gets a little goofy trying to introduce this segment and justify its title. The roar of cycle engines rouses two napping cuties into changing into attire more suitable for Moto'Cross; pads, helmets, and bikinis(??) After their ride, a patch of mud and a sprinkler make for some fun. A third model joins for a bit of posing in the sun.
(47) Untitled: Playmates Nikki, Tylyn, and Danelle check out the wild nightlife at a biker bar. Nikki's a bit overwhelmed and subdued but Tylyn wades right in. What little they show of Danelle suggests she can be the life of the party when she wants to be.
(49) "Biker Bash": Tylyn borrows a camcorder for a bit of nontactile fun with another biker babe. Black leather is doffed quickly enough. Look at those big smiles, these girls are having absolutely way too much fun without me!! Tylyn's not as sleek as she once was, but she can still catch an eye and turn a head!
(54) Credits: Some goofy outtakes with Tylyn and a review of the segments.
In summary, I'd give this video a pass, just not enough heat here. Tylyn John fans might be better served by buying her Playmate Video Profile [and you get gorgeous Corinna Harney to boot!] Karin Taylor is briefly spectacular here but a better bet is her hosting "Women of Color II." And Nikki better find the thermostat or she's sunk as a video Playmate!
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1998/09/12