For Macular Degenerates |
I am still walking the
treacherous road of MD, with it's many twists and turns. It is not easy. In
fact, it is downright difficult! I have now reached another bend in the path
to peace and acceptance. Am I ready to round
another corner in search of these signposts, which continuously elude me? I
am still struggling with this question as I continue on my journey, but I am
starting to think differently. I have more bounce in my step, strengthened
by
the Jolts of Hope I experienced along the way. I will continue my quest for
as long as it takes. I feel stronger. I have built up fresh courage to face
this zigzag run towards the goal line, maybe I'll score a touchdown, and
then be able to stop, take a deep breath, and say I finally did it! I now
accept this vision loss and am at peace with myself...Or maybe it will not
be that easy, but I am determined to try.
Whenever I stumble, I think again of the
words I wrote at the end of each page:
The MD SUPPORT web site is a life saving resource for persons with vision loss. They are a loving, caring bunch of "Retinal Degenerates." This site offers a wealth of information not found elsewhere. Be sure to bookmark it, as you will return again and again. Most importantly, you will make new friends and NOT FEEL SO ALONE. This support is vital. It saved me, and it will save you. Please take my word for it!
Feeling despair is very normal when you are first hearing the dreaded words, "You have MD." You want to hear some assurance of HOPE, but the words are not said. The best you can look to is an eventual ACCEPTANCE. It is out there somewhere waiting for you to grab and hold on to. You have to have the courage to find it.
Remember the Jolts of Hope on this page, as they are important. It is very frightening and stressful to go through treatment either at the hospital, or in a doctor's office. Try and reach out to as many people as possible to help you through it. You cannot do it alone. Believe me, I tried and failed. This is crucial for your sanity!
Your own circle of friends is there waiting for you to reach out to them. They might not fully understand what you are experiencing, and that is because they are also scared, but unable to express it. Don't give up! One day they will understand, but try a few creative ways of expressing yourself. For example, I am starting to ask people to look at the tips of their noses until their eyes cross. I then tell them this cross-eyed vision is what I see. They are shocked, but they have better insight. THE INTERNET'S MD COMMUNITY is at the core of my circle, as the acceptance of vision loss is my priority. I cannot run away from this. I cannot hide from this reality.
For a while I forgot who I was. I was devastated by confirmation of this disease. Remember who you are. Remember the inner strengths that always kept you going. You will absolutely need them to survive this crisis. If you need to dig them out, ask a loved one to help. Make a list and post it somewhere to serve as a reminder of what makes YOU so special.