habit

first of all allow me to apologize if the banner ad above is those annoying three ducks scuttling about. shooting them is a rather tempting idea. ha, spoken like a true vegetarian. i guess they're better than that terrorist weirdness one they have.

so yeah. raise your hand if you slept more than 11 hours and woke up at 4pm.
whats the matter? not confident, confident, dry and secure?
what a life.

tomorrow i am calling 4 waitering places. i am sending a resume to a synogogue to be a rabbi's receptionist. for some reason 'creative writing' is in the job description. fitting, no? organized religion = work of fiction = creative writing. somehow with that attitude i dont see me getting this job. but if i did my parents would *plutz*. =)

i thought getting up as late as i did would mean my day would be void of anything other than sitting. but i got productive (after two games of spades) and did some organizing around here, and some work on my crafts project. it got COLD but im not putting on my heat. i cant justify paying for it right now, when i have no income. if the damned government doesnt send my damn money tomorrow im gonna go bananas. it was a relaxing day. i didnt come down on myself for not going out or writing anything. it was sunday.

adam called. as soon as he did i knew that meant he was coming for a visit, which is cool because of two words: expense account. mmm free dinner. i am ready. not to mention free movie, he owes me one. plus its just so fun to goof around with him. we know each other so well, we can't bullshit each other in the least and always wind up laughing alot.

i'm in the mood for hot cereal. do any of you call it hot cereal? i bet most of you call it oatmeal or something. dudes, yer all wrong. its hot cereal. best with margarine in it so it gets all melty and makes margarine rivers on top, and brown sugar and a splash of milk. which i dont have, but that would be best. i'm gonna make some.

hot cereal. that was always a mom option for breakfast. but my favorite was baby eggs. she is coming to montreal at the end of this month, and likely going to stay with me. thats a first. she usually stays in town at a friend's. we have made progress. anyway, maybe i can swing some baby eggs out of her when she's here. yummmmmm. when my kitchen gets more and more bare of food, the more and more i think about food. funny how that is.

baby eggs:
soft boil two eggs.
butter two pieces of bread, then rip them into small pieces in a bowl.
pour soft boiled eggs over bread, add some salt, and stir.

mmm. it makes me warm inside just remembering it. i havent had any in ages. i wish my mom had email. i would write her right now and ask her to start practicing. not that thats exactly a difficult recipe. try it, i swear, its so yummy. insodoing you will also be tasting a wee bit of my childhood. 30 years old and still the baby wanting her eggs. more proof that numbers are representative of nothing, unless you are buying donuts.

exciting news: i will now be able to watch letterman again!! and without paying for cable! wooo! i bet i could have seen jack black last week, if only i had known. i only found out yesterday, and i have no clue how long it was available to me. regardless: suh-weet. i have missed letterman like a mofo. it could only be better if they would hook me up with conan or jon stewart to follow. craig kilborn is ok, but i dont love him. once again tho, woooo!!!! letterman!

the other night i had the good sense to videotape the shawshank redemption. i woke up at 11 this morning to pee, and just as i did my computer started making that loud whirring fan noise again. i shut it down. when i lay back down this airplane went by overhead, and it was just a wee bit too loud. the cats stiffened. i sat right up. it was totally disconcerting. i was awake but felt exhausted. so i watched an hour of shawshank. what a great movie. next thing i knew, it was 4 pm. when i came and turned on my computer it made the same whirring sound. it kinda stopped a bit when i kicked it. here is a comparison ratio to represent my 'fixing' the computer.
me : computer repair person what homer simpson : computer repair person. not to mention i have started using the word donut profusely in the last 24 hours.

aw fuck a duck. i forgot to water the plants. yes! a new mission for tomorrow.

i remember something about last night's talking. anita told me that she and j mop once a month, approximately. marni said she and dave do it once a WEEK. i was like: dudes, i do it like once a YEAR. i hate mopping, its such a pain. but anita pointed out the real pain is the pre-mopping-pre-sweep and i realized she was right (don't tell her!). so i feel like pigpen from peanuts all of a sudden, when usually i am quite content to be lucy. does this mean i will be mopping this week? maybe. it always smells good after i do, and cuts down on the cat hair. i hope one day i have enough cash for a maid service. my place is big. and dusty. it needs a team. =) and i don't especially want to be on that team.

what id really like is to paint. i want to make my kitchen red and bright. i want to wash my ceilings (which are way high) in the kitchen and bathroom too, and then paint those too. huge job. needa da moolah. i want i want i want. but i love my house. i dont really plan on leaving it. not anytime soon.

my left shoulder blade, like the entire thing below the shoulder, is hurting. yesterday it was the right. i dont dig it. gonna call leo, see if he will come oil me up and work it out. which sounds a lot dirtier than it will be. i look at leo and i see liza minelli. his eyebrows are picture perfect. but i digress.

so yeah. happy neil young day. november 11th. rememberance day, and neil's birthday.

so many neil songs i want to use to go out on: hey hey, the cripple creek ferry...so fun to sing. or mirrorball for pearl jam content. or crime in the city for the 'tho my home is broken its the only home i've ever known' line that comforted me when i was in vancouver post parental divorce....don't let it bring you down because of its delicate beauty and how much i loved hearing it covered in american beauty, conveying such nervous tenderness....heart of gold for its campfire goodness (and for how it rings so true to how i feel)...i'm the ocean is too obvious...im going through his song list at hyperrust.org and god he just has too many beautiful touching songs, and so many cool rock out tunes, and i'm only at *L*. he is Neil. he gets a capital.

i know. i will leave you with my favorite, and then follow it with the song Neil played for the world at bridge this year. it needs no explanation. as for the first song, i think i have been that girl. its so pretty. and it gives me strength because even though its sad for her, she is noble and soft. and it makes me able to look back on some stuff and not be hurt by it, i dont know. who can explain in words the things a song makes them feel? maybe cameron crowe. not me.

Though the river flows
Gently to the sea
He was on the shore
Rooted like a tree
She was here and there
Riding on the waves
Through it all she heard his call
And gave it all she gave.

And though their love
was hangin' on a limb
She taught him how to dance
and start again
And though their love
was hangin' on a limb
She taught him how to dance.

And when the melody
Through the window called
It echoed in the courtyard
And whispered in the halls
He played it through the night
She knew he had to go
There was something about freedom
He thought he didn't know.

And though their love
was hangin' on a limb
She taught him how to dance
and start again
And though their love
was hangin' on a limb
She taught him how to dance.

Though the river flowed
Gently to the sea
He was on the shore
Rooted like a tree
She was here and there
Riding on the waves
Through it all she heard his call
And gave it all she gave.

And though their love
was hangin' on a limb
She taught him how to dance.

that was for me. this is for all of everyone.

Oh, Mother Earth,
With your fields of green
Once more laid down
by the hungry hand
How long can you
give and not receive
And feed this world
ruled by greed
And feed this world
ruled by greed.

Oh, ball of fire
In the summer sky
Your healing light,
your parade of days
Are they betrayed
by the men of power
Who hold this world
in their changing hands
They hold the world
in their changing hands.

Oh, freedom land
Can you let this go
Down to the streets
where the numbers grow
Respect Mother Earth
and her giving ways
Or trade away
our children's days
Or trade away
our children's days.

Respect Mother Earth
and her giving ways
Or trade away
our children's days.

happy bday young neil. welcome to the week everyone. send me 'find a hot job' vibes. one love, the dream i see.