habit

the words freaky friday come to mind.

twelve noon. i'm sleeping on the couch as per the norm. the phone rings, and its my mother. hadn't spoken to her in over a month. heard something i can almost guarantee noone i know will ever hear.
she says 'i feel like a shit for not speaking to you for so long.'
i says 'its ok, me too...but i'm sleeping.'
she says 'but don't you want to hear about my piercing?
suffice it to say those are words more wakeful than the shrillest alarm clock set to the loudest volume right next to your ear. thats right folks, my mother whose age shall go unmentioned here but its more than 50 and less than 60, has pierced her belly button. west coast living i tell you. it keeps you young, but apparently it also makes you mental. i know, how cool, thats so great, yatta yatta. its different when its your mom. i'll have to call back for the full story. loop or bar? did anybody else's mom get them to light her cigarettes for her? anyone else's mom suggest insistently that going to work a cruise or club med would be a great idea? she's happy and vibrant and living, really alive, and thats great, i wouldnt change that. but it takes getting used to and the belly ring threw me for a loop. makes for a good story tho.

highlights:
-listened to vs for the first time in a long time at the gym today. laughed out loud at ed saying 'kindred to being american'. it was such a good listen. i so love that band. if i have to mention that the band in question is pearl jam...20 lashes for you! go buy vs. and yield! go now!!
-turned a negative situation at work into something positive, where i was the one who was wronged. instead of allowing a fight to blow up, i talked it through calmly with the manager who was tantruming and it all ended with apologies and hugs. very mature like.
-made it to friends 30th birthday party, just in time. saw high school folks for first time in a decade. must be some twisted joke that the calendar says we're 30. when people see you and still instantly call you applehead and it feels like home, it makes you wonder.

lowlights:
-dumb me didnt rent any movies. i am so wishing i had. bummer. oh well, will have to watch single video theory for third night running. thats no punishment. =) maybe will even make out what ed whisper/mumbles when camera is on jack at start of given to fly.
-being scared when walking to the car in the parking lot where i can park free, alone, after my shift, circa midnight. drunk boys peeing and yelling in nearby alley + desolate lot + girl in bad shoes to run in = society i resent where women can be preyed upon. oh well, they might have all been stand up guys, and i am here to type about it. just hate feeling vulnerable in that way.

spotlight: i sent radiohead site an email after not hearing from them AGAIN asking please not to cause me to suffer wondering about the outcome of this situation through the weekend. my prompt reply was to sit tight until monday afternoon. fabulous. how fucking hard is it to cancel two stinkin tickets? jesus. can you feel my aggravation levels rising? they really have, just in typing that last sentence. i wish they would just fix what they broke already.

stoplight: squeegee kids who approach the car im driving with spritzer extended and ignore me saying no no no, and then proceed to do their thing on my windshield anyway? NO. not good. respect me saying no. don't act like you're doing me a favor out of the goodness of your heart when i just told you no, because you arent. no means no. no means dont touch the car, its personal property. the addition of guilt for not having any change for the kid who went against my wishes didnt help. this at a corner that i will sit at every night for the next month. i will try to be more clear next time. apparently shaking head and saying no isnt authoritative enough. sheesh.

dj steph is now playing: evacuation, pearl jam, binaural. eek. dj steph has now skipped ahead to nothing as it seems. ahhhhhhh. so much better. smells like pink floyd, tastes like pearl jam. whats that? dont own binaural? GO GET IT. and if you didnt know what single video theory is, don't let another day go by without finding out.

work was crazy busy. hopefully more of the same saturday night. for the first time in over a month the expos are not in last place, after whomping toronto. all is right in the universe.

welcome to the weekend. take advantage of the freedom.

and another thursday draws to a close. the temperatures have dropped and there is cool air. nice for a change. i spent some time pondering the purpose of this site. i figure it will make itself known in time, and for now i should probably just type and see what comes. i don't expect it to be earth-shattering, but it doesn't gots to be a bore-fest either.

i overslept and had no time for the gym, or even to eat before work. i had to bring my dad to the airport and with the traffic there was no time to get home before the grand shift. so i stopped and picked up a dollar slice of pizza and listened to the expos on the car radio. wouldnt you know it pizza + stephanie in a white tank top = tomato sauce stains just below right breast, and me with no change of shirt. and that is pretty much a good summary of the day.

highlights:
-i got me a car for just over a month, baybee. this also means paying out for gas, and dealing with downtown parking and traffic.
-kinda few and far between today. it was less than spectacular, but i didnt get hit by a bus either, so...

lowlights:
-dad on the road. i hate seeing him looking stressed out about flying and business and the like. he's my dad, it should be wine and roses for him 24/7. i'll miss him. no automatic partner for the games on sundays anymore.
-working with bitter people. if you hate your job, quit. don't make yourself and others miserable by whining, power-tripping, and temper-tantruming through the shift. and more than anything (this is for you myles--who will probably never read this but it makes me feel better to name him) don't bark at your friends. friends first, job second.
-coming home and finding a hornet or wasp (who cares which? it has a stinger and so i don't like it) in the apartment. damn. this is bad on so many levels. first and foremost, i could get stung. the kitties could get stung too. secondly, i don't want to have to kill anything, but i will in self protection and in purr-protection. but i won't like it. meantime, i have no clue where the sucker is and every three seconds i am positive i feel it landing on my foot, shoulder, head, etc. nothing good about it.

spotlight: my ever treacherous situation with the radiohead merch customer service people at W.A.S.T.E. the essence of it is that i ordered two tickets for the montreal show through them after being told i would be charged in canadian dollars. they used the term CAD as opposed to USD. anyway the amex bill comes and i was charged in fricking american. ridiculous. so i email them and explain, and this goes back and forth for awhile, and then tuesday the cust-serv person tells me that wednesday they have a holiday, but will get back to me thursday (aka today) to tell me if they can cancel my order. #1. you are damn right they better cancel my order, it was their fuck up. #2. do you think i got that promised email today from them? if you guess no, move ahead three spaces. if you guess yes, go directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200. son of a mofo, they didnt get back to me. this does not bode well for my state of mind in reference to this stressful situation. i love radiohead and dont want this as a shadow hanging over them or the show or anything, and its starting to be. furthermore, there is a clear right thing for them to do, and if they don't, i will snap. but what will i be able to do? im just one fan in a vast and endless crowd. time will tell.

dj steph is now playing: nothing. must have silence to hear incoming buzzing.

let's be careful out there. xo

music. love. friends. not necessarily in that order.

they say there's a first time for everything, and i can't find reason to argue. this is the first time i've tipped over and allowed my mind to spill directly onto a page that i can't shut off from every other person that exists by closing the book its in. in simpler terms, here it is: my first ever post to my first ever own webpage website whatever this is. hardly an occasion for champagne popping, but kinda fun and silly and late and pass-ay and one hundred other things i won't go on to list. welcome to me. yeah, its exciting.

today was the 4th of july. anyone else have the voice of chris cornell jump into their heads? if not, superunknown. own it.

highlights:
-seeing the expos blast the marlins 9-6. eating soft ice cream watching the team i dearly love. especially when they win
-having a friend cool enough and who thinks enough of me to take a huge chunk of time and send me on my way to webland. anil, you rock.
-getting visit from former co-worker who i miss so much because the humor factor at work has slumped severely in his absence and giggling and laughing uncontrollably like a schoolgirl-slash-idiot constantly in his presence. phil, move in.

lowlights:
-dealing with the crappy non-airconditioning at the gym. humidity + treadmill + no breeze = quadruple vision. unpleasant.
-i can't really think of anything else. excellent.

dj steph is now playing: ani--deep dish--little plastic castle. for a change.

ok that was fun. i gotta see what this looks like. must post. more sooner or later.
oh. i wanted music, love and friends to be the first words i offered up to this vast infinity. thats why i mentioned them. i could have added deep fry.

as hank used to say, be good. and if you can't be good, be good at it. amen.