habit

just so you know: i said a giant FUCK IT about yoga tonight. instead i ate another pita dealie and am going to bed. its just too late. thats two nights in a row that are PM yoga free. but that's really just plum dandy. its the weekend. yee haw!

=)

the friday five. which i am too lazy to dig out so i just copy off jess' journal. hi jess. =)

1. What do you have your browser start page set to?
this. it used to be the gazette official website, but canada.com must have bought it out in one of those conglomeraty business moves i dont understand nor care to. today's headline was expos moving to washington dc related and so bummed me out. the next headline about a local pizzeria that was hiding heroin in the middle of some 'special all dressed's and got busted big time. that had me crack a smile.

2. What are your favorite news sites?
five horizons and synergy, ani's tour date site. otherwise i like the alternative news pages...like rabble.ca and comdey ones, like the onion. but mostly the news i want is music related (pollstar ranks high there too) or in the journals you see to the left.

3. Favorite search engine?
totally google. google images rocks the house too, if yer lookin for specific pics of stuff. someone today found my site by using a yahoo search engine thing. i clicked the link and found a bunch of stuff, including this, and here is a direct quote: Flipping between channels, we land on programs like "P.M.S." Starring Stephanie Segal as the angry woman. hahahahahaha! search engines is funny.

4. When did you first get online?
the very very first time that i can remember was when i was going out with adam of toronto. adam is a computer wizard, one of those natural born freaks. at his house he showed me IRC, and put me in a chat room and within one second someone was talking to me and i couldn't believe it, i was totally blown away. and i got right into it too, it was totally fun. thats all it took. i wanted a computer from that moment on. that must have been like 1993. i was using IRC from university in 1994 regularly (and newsgroups and email, etc).

5. How do you plan to spend your weekend?
up until about 2 hours or so ago i had planned on cleaning this pigsty of a residence up, laundering, baking shake n bake tofu cutlets and focusing on my homework, finding a stranger to observe and write about. but two hours ago i asked sheri about that chart on her site where she tracks her exposure to live pearl jam (an idea she got from yours truly): how many times she's heard each song, which songs as openers and closers and how many times, covers, etc. i have it on paper somewhere, but hoped she would teach me to do that chart. and i got totally into picking the colors (im half blind from it actually) and wound up pretty satisfied and now thats all i want to do to the point where i had to force myself to stop so i could blog and then do yoga. fun fun fun. sheri you rock. even if you talk about my front with alex behind my back. =) hopefully in there i'll have time to see dad and maybe even a friend or two (ak call me). the whole weekend off. so fucking supersweet.

i just want to say that the friday five is awesome.

k. my day started with a giant suck. less than 24 hours after i promised that some newsgroup fuckwad would spoil the pj xmas single surprise one total fuckwad did just that, by naming one of the tracks in the subject header. MOTHERFUCKER. i didnt want to open the post and read it for fear of yet more spoiler action, so i sic'ed brad on that guy's ass and he ripped him a new one. in less than 3 sentences the main man brad called this guy every possible thing one can call a giant fuckwad bastard. brad, did you ever know that you're my hero?

the suck progressed onward when i had to recycle my rainbow stripe socks because wearing white sport socks is out of the question and im that behind on laundry. not the best. i got to work feeling draggy and tired and just like it was going to be a rough night. in the end it was more good than bad, it balanced out and i was busy enough to not be bored and nothing worth reporting even happened that i can remember now. and i made some good coin. the guy i work with at night, billy...he is an incredibly nice kid. i had all the action in non smoking and he pretty much had squat all night. i kept insisting he take some tables and make some money but he absolutely wouldnt hear of it, yet still helped me out completely. he and steve are my favorites.

i ate one piece of toasted raisin bread with melted butter on it at work (yum) and one half bagel toasted with peanut butter and strawberry jam (double yum). i *almost* tried the skor cheesecake but someone ordered the last piece and so it will have to be another time. did i mention yesterday that i met the guy who will be managing the location i am moving to? i think i did, and that he is very fun and cool. billy told me he is ALWAYS on the lighter side of life and he passed by today and just said 'have a fun time, steph' as he left. i dug that. when people who just meet me call me steph it makes me feel like they see me as a friend and that they are comfortable with me and i can be with them. its good stuff. can't wait to get out of the mall, even if it means no more billy and steve. they can come visit, and im sure they will.

caryn sent me this awesome link, and i cant believe i didnt know about it ever before. cameron crowe fans rejoice. i cant wait to geek out here and read everything i can get my eyes on. an obsession is born!

winter lite has arrived in montreal. we finally had two consecutive days of snowfall, and tho the accumulation is pitiful, at least it looks like winter as opposed to early spring. my forecast is that february is going to be a bitch, where the days of -20s temperatures will factor large. but who cares because its my birthday month, so noone can bitch about it! except maybe me, if i am so stricken with the desire.

wd40 is on par with ben gay. two incredible products that i would gladly participate in ad campaigns for.

pita nuked for 20 seconds + hummous + smoked tofu + tomato = not too fucking shabby. twas my dinner.

and now i am getting hungry again. and i cant snack (im sensing hot chocolate with bailey's again! do you think amaretto would work in hot chocolate?) until after i do yoga, and since i've tiredly started blurting out random one liners, i think its safe to call it a night. ITS A NIGHT!!

one love
what's real? the dream i see.

the first point of bidness:

it seems people have begun receiving their pearl jam fan club xmas singles in the mail. fun stuff. also, a few websites are showing the artwork from the single and since ive heard theres been lots of response to it (thanks brad, thanks a whole lot) i am left to presume its somewhat controversial on some level. to quote 'its ok'...THIS IS MY PLEA:

please for the love of all things under the sun, DO NOT TELL ME WORD ONE ABOUT THE XMAS SINGLE. i dont want to know anything about it. i want to open my mailbox one day (hopefully soon) and have this all new surprise waiting there for me, and share a moment with it, just it and me. i can't wait, but really I CAN. i believe in anticipation and excitement building. i dont need to know everything right this second weeks in advance and be the first to know. some things are better the old fashioned way.

if you think i'll find it funny if you drop a spoiler on me just for the sake of what you assume is comedy please know in advance i will be ferociously pissed off. its gonna be like a fucking dodge-bullet minefield fest till it gets here as it is, what with people in the newsgroup too dumb to realize they might be spoiling it for someone...so yeah. that is my plea.

so how fabulous is this? i got up at NOON today, and it was an all natural alarm clock free festivity. i not only did my AM yoga practice, but i followed it with beginners yoga because i had time. then i cruised on line a bit and cabbed it to work because i knew joel was picking me up afterward and i normally cab it one way on night shifts and it was snowing like mad all morning and bussing it would have been a nightmare.

in the cab the driver and i were chatting about skiing. like anita, he finds the steepness to scary (tho anita questions the abilities of gravity to keep her on the mountain) and so i laughed. and then i made an analogy i kind of dug. my favorite element of skiing are those moments you get where its just you on that part of the slope, and its a smaller part of the hill, well treed in and its a sunny cold day. because its just you the only sounds are your skis swishing and crunching over the snow, and you can feel the heat of your visible breath for a millisecond before it evaporates into the cold air...and it lasts probably less than a minute but it feels like a small eternity and its the exact opposite of being downtown in traffic on a jam packed bus. which is the absolute worst, no question. that moment on the hill is wall-free, ceiling-free, people-free. building-free, noise-free...and you are freely sailing down a mountain. i think the word for it is glorious.

it was a quiet shift at work as a result of the snow, but i made nice tips. this woman left me ten bux on a 30 dollar bill because i was playing with the baby and didnt mind warming the food and the bottle (twice). i think doing yoga before work really makes me alot more patient and pleasant than i might normally be. i worked with billy and it was fun, plus i met the probable manager of the new location where i will be going and he was totally cool and funny...smart funny, not goofy funny like costa. he's gonna be good.

we played porn names/soap opera names. the way i learned it your porn name is the name of your first pet combined with the name of your first street, which makes me max parkview. oooh la la. your soap opera name is the name of your favorite pet combined with the name of the street you live on now, which makes me charlie st urban. kinda soapy.

by about 7 i was bloody starving. earlier in the evening this sliver of cake left over from the table d'hote special from lunch had been calling me from the fridge. this cake is psychotic looking: ELEVEN layers. thick white icing with chocolate covered espresso beans and chocolate shavings on it over chocolate mousse, chocolate cake, white cake, etc. i had to try it. it was so good i wanted to fall over. i had one bite and repeated 'oh my god' maybe 8 times. it was too good. it was the best cake i have ever had. i bet it costs like 80 bucks for a cake like that, and if it doesnt, it should. its worth it. it was so good i couldnt even finish it. i wasnt worthy. but anyway yeah, i was damned hungry and bored.

i was thinking: sushi. sushi. sushi. so i called joel and he seemed down with that and shortly after that i got cut for lack of purpose (no customers = no waiters necessary) and eventually he found his way to the doors i was at and off we went.

we worked out that we havent seen each other in about 2 years (tho have spoken on the phone and online and live in the same city) because he has never seen my feline treasures. he was sufferin that same neck condition that anita was when we went to see vanilla sky so he couldnt turn to look at me. i love when my friends provide me with such ample ammo to use at their expense. naw, i just tease a little. i know what bad necks are like and they suck. which is why i have shares in ben gay. long live ben gay.

anyway we had a really fun time, and it wasnt all because i was tipsed out on sake. we are both big tangenters and joel always goes for the laugh so he's silly and fun to hang with. the place was busy and loud when we got there and the room had a good vibrant energy to it that may or may not have charged the convo. and my sushi was deelishus, as always. joel prefers this other place, and theres a new place i want to try, so it might be awhile before i am back there. but the tofu will always bring me back there.

we sat there talking and the restaurant cleared out around us. the bill had arrived and been paid and it was then that joel inserted his chopstick wrapper into a glass of water and 'windmilled' it (his word of explanation) so that water rose up out of the glass, splashing yours truly in the face and hair. ok it was only a few drops, but it was ice cold and most unexpected. so much for solid dinner companionship.

but he did get major bonus points: he asked me to get something out of his man purse (cough*drugpouch*cough), and as i fished around in there i came across a pearl jam cd from hamburg in 96. so i faked stealing it and he told me to grab all the stuff out, which included like 4 cds, and in them was a second copy of that very show. he burned me a copy, just like that. i was so touched, really and truly. how totally fucking sweet. so i thanked him and said that now i would totally sleep with him (kidding, only kidding...tho pearl jam is the way to my heart) and he said 'what you werent going to before?' and i said 'no' and then we tangented and went on to 300 other things all at the same time. it was a great time. thanks joel. =)

not to mention the kid drove me to return my movies that otherwise would have been late. does it get better than that? yes it does. i dont already have that hamburg 96 show (that opens with wash). woo!

and now im home hoping the sake wont leave me with the usual post sake headache. im tired as all get out and think i am going to have to royally fuck doing yoga tonight. im just too tired and have nothing left. not into it. i cannot wait for tomorrow's shift to come and go because then i have the weekend off. kyle just reminded me its jack black hosting snl and i think there may even be some figure skating tribute to elvis stojko i can geek out on should nothing to do surface. excitement plus. but mostly its about all the sleep and all the cleaning i need to get done. and my school project. the stranger.

thursday. a good day.

hope twas as such for youse touse.

one love, the dream i see. bring on the friday five!

wednesday. why isnt it spelled whenzday, the way its pronounced? who should i write a letter to to get that all fixed up?

it was good but it was a rough start.

my alarm went off at 8 45 and i would have done just about anything for only 15 minutes more sleep. it was brutal. i just did not want to wake up and probably could have passed back out for another 4 hours.

my mouth is way dry. i'm gonna make me some hot chocolate with bailey's in it. because tomorrow i can sleep. woo!

ok. back and armed with chocolate and booze. salty and good.

i dragged my ass off the couch and told myself fuck it. i will take my time getting ready and cab it to work if i have to. but even when i try to be late i am on time, and was able to make it to work with time for a cup of coffee before hand on the bus and walking. i am definitely punctual, in all aspects. if i have to be somewhere at some time, i am. if i have to be ready for some time, i am. i'm good like that. i need less than an hour to be fully ready: showered, blow dried hair, dressed and ready to go. i can do it in 30 mins if i have to. speedster.

i just burned my tongue. there are few things worse.

HA!!! HOW FUCKING AWESOME! it is now exactly 1:18 in the morning. my doorbell just rang, and it scared the living crap out of me. i rarely answer the door if im not expecting someone during the day, let alone at 1 in the morning. but i went down and wouldnt you know it, it was one of my lovely downstairs neighbors, from right below me. she was angry because she thought i was stomping around up here, stomp stomp stomp, because i heard bass. well, i heard nothing and wasnt stomping, and told her so. she said 'you just woke us up with your stomping' and i said 'OHHH!! its the chair i sit on at my computer!' this chair is way old and the legs are made of heavy metal (not as in ozzy, as in old school furniture) and when i sit down i pull it in to get closer to the keyboard, and it must bang loudly for them downstairs. WOO! so i apologized ever so sincerely, even touching her arm, then locked my door and climbed my stairs with a huge fucking grin on my face. its not like i did it on purpose, and now i will be more careful with it, but damn does that feel nice.

work had a real nice flow of customers. i was never slammed but never bored and i sold more than i have any other weekday since starting there. steve and i actually talked about potential bed-mated-ness as he wants someone to give him a refresher course. i think he is just intrigued by my proximity to the female sexual peak (hell, so am i). he also wants someone to guide him through some yoga postures because his back is fucked. but we both so enjoy working together we dont wanna mess that up. so far its all talk and fun shifts. he is an actual friend, the only one i would trust in that place for now, and i'm lucky he's there.

after work one of the other waiters, kosta (aka oscar) showed up and we talked for about an hour. he was born 9 years and two days after me, the same day as my cats (who will be two on feb 4th, mark that date down too). he's a funny character without necessarily trying to be...keeps a serious face and struts about because he is working out and on a lean muscle mass diet. to watch him eat...the kid shovels food in and his mouth is never empty until the plate is. i have never seen anything like it. its repulsive and wonderful at the same time. i can't look away when he does it. its the jewish 'everybody must to eat' part of me that is satisfied by it i guess. he always has skim milk with whatever he eats too, which is disgusting. milk is not meant to be drunk with rice and chicken. thats just wrong.

on my way out of the mall i stopped into hmv to return my brand new yet already skipping beatles cd purchase of the day before. and who is standing behind the counter? my friend tristan from the last class that i took at continuing ed. tristan is this soft spoken kurt cobain but prettier looking alterna-rocker looking dude who is just adorable. he had dyed his hair black but i knew him instantly. and both of us were so absolutely surprised to see each other we were really thrown for a loop and talking jibberish for the first few minutes. i stayed and talked with him for 15 minutes or so and caught up and kidded around a bit. i'm going to bring him some live stuff to burn and return, as he is wise enough to enjoy him some pearl jam.

i asked him how his friend's band was doing and he told me he had subbed on bass for them a bit during their tour of the maritime provinces, and by huge coincidence they would be appearing on mike bullard (canadian late night talk show format not so extraordinaire but he gets all the good canadian music acts since there is no alternative) so i just checked them out. they are called 'rubberman' and i was pretty damned impressed. their sound is nothing mold-breaking, and the music reminded me in places of smashing pumpkins when they are playing heavy...but the singer. the singer is a damned powerhouse, and makes it look so easy. he sounded a bit like when dave matthews sings angry and belts deeply, and a bit like david usher from moist except less whiny. the song rocked. it was more than bearable...it was good.

and the singer is a bartender at the former hangout of my former coworkers and has served me delicious 1/2 guiness 1/2 apple ciders and is very very attractive and is named jonah. rubberman. i never thought i'd actually like them. very excited to tell tristan it gets the big thumbs up. tristan is a good name.

speaking of good names, tonight was my creative writing class. we had to each read the pieces we'd written about our names, how we got them and what they mean to us. nobody picked up on my pearl jam content, totally under the radar. oh well. all of the writing was good, and some of it was REALLY good. funny stuff, and it was cool to give feedback to everyone. unfortunately there were like 7 people absent. i hope they dropped the class and dont show up next week. the group there tonight now know each other in a more intimate way, and i like it like that. i talk too much in class, but i cant help it, and im not going to. i wanna get the most out of the class and im not gonna stifle. i'm just very enthusiastic about the good stuff in there, and i like to tell people so. the cute nerdy guy wrote one of my two favorties of everyone. which makes him still nerd-sexier. tim.

our teacher is really trying to push us to pay attention to people at all times. to especially focus on people who may be behaving strangely and jot notes down about them after, as things like that are good fodder for stories. the new assignment is to observe an interesting stranger keenly but casually. to make notes about them afterward, and then write up a descriptive piece and let it flow into a bit of a story. make up what they were thinking, where they might be going, where they were coming from, who they are, what they do. i am excited to get on it and pretty intimidated too. anxious, but in a good way.

dave matthews band are playing the molson center april 21st. chances are i'll go, and will buy tickets day of show again. but this is it. if they close with fucking ants marching > watchtower, its over. no more live dave for me. the last two times at the molson center thats what they closed with, and he even pulled the same shenanigan stunt at bridge. look out dave...you're on thin ice. MIX IT UP for chrissakes!

someone on the newsgroup asked what our favorite non pearl jam songs are to hear, where we have to get up and dance or car boogie. i replied with:

deceptacon--le tigre
pop--n sync
flashlight--george clinton and p funk
brown eyed girl--van morrison
wanna be startin something--michael jackson (and billie jean and thriller too)
two step--dave matthews band (and crash, and crush)
battle flag--lo fidelity all stars
like a prayer--madonna
kickstand--soundgarden
give it away--rhcp
time warp--rocky horror picture show soundtrack
much janet jackson

and about a gazillion others.

and my nose is feeling a bit blocked. i think i should go lie down and watch me some billy crudup almost famous action. y-e-s.

good night and good spirit.

one love, the dream i see.

tuesday january 15th 2002 was a day where i:

--applied the last of my arrid extra dry baby powder scent to my armpits, telling myself: i will hit the pharmacy in the mall and buy a replacement, while also popping in to the body shop to get some designer conditioner (but it really does work miracles). i forgot to do both these things. tomorrow i will be using the free dove sample deodorant that i think i got in the mail.

--went in to hmv to buy replacement batteries since my walkman died. of course i scour the shelves first, and find the 17.99 sticker has been removed from the ben folds rockin the suburbs disc, and the price is now fucking 24.99. goddamn. so on my way to the cash the beatles 'one' album catches my eye, and for 18.99 i got every beatles #1 song...all 27 of them. thats a fine collection right there. i get to the cash and...they have no double A batteries. what the fuck! so far i have sweaty armpits, unmanageable hair and a dead walkman, but the beatles one cd, i'm totally armed in that department.

--heard mikey do lead vocals on this cool little track with stone on guitar that reminds me of a song that might have been on the soundtrack to pretty in pink or less than zero. he has a cool voice, in my humble opinion, and its a great little number. go mike! i really love that guy. mike, you're money.

--asked brad to do a read through on my homework assignment, at the end of which he said 'but where is the obligatory pearl jam lyric?' damn. in the past i've written stuff and managed to slip in a lyric that would go under the wire of anyone but a die-hard, and its always tickled me to do so. so i figured i was up to the challenge and began trying to weasel a few different lyrics from ten into there. they all sucked. finally i went with 'the name they gave me' from brain of j. and its funny he mentioned it because earlier on the bus i had thought of including song lyrics to introduce chapters in a book, or to end them...actually on the bus i've been doing a lot of thinking about my writing class and ideas, and i havent written ONE of them down. fuck. some writer. tomorrow i add a notebook to my bag. yes, a notebook. groovin.

--i called joel while waiting for the burger king in the food court to finish nuking my veggie burger and made tentative plans for thursday night. i'm reallllllllly looking forward to the sleep ins of thursday and friday. ahhhhh, the night shift. i think at the new place, which is rumored to stay open till ten pm (if it ever fucking actually opens), i might split my week into saturday and sunday day shifts and wednesday, thursday, friday night shifts. i think that might be most liveable for me. altho friday nights-saturday mornings....eesh. we'll seeski. in the meantime there aint no opening date rumors flying about. supposedly they are missing all the kitchen equipment. mofo. but look at how i sidetrack. as for joel i dunno what we'll do because it will already be about 9 pm. maybe eat sushi. maybe just go for coffee and such. who the hell knows. he offered to come pick me up, woo, joel! its not really a big deal that we are gonna hang, its just a mentionable because usually we just talk on the phone even tho we live in the same city. i've been talking to him off and on since spring, but i havent seen him the entire time. its been more than a year, possibly two. funny.

--was serving this couple and every time i went to talk to them the guy was like 'you are interrupting my moves!' and jokingly saying how id be paying for his meal if i kept it up. anyway i said something sarcastic to them and she said its something he would say. so i asked 'are you aquarius?' and he actually WAS. feb 9th is his birthday (yes, thats 7 after mine for those keeping track =P) and then later she asked me 'stephanie, whats your last name?' first of all, i love when customers call me by my name. it means they acknowledge i am a full human being, not just their servant like most people do. if you wanna be a better person call anyone serving you in any capacity wearing a name tag by their name. it makes a big difference. anyway, i tell her and she asks me my dad's name. somehow, between my jokes and my face she managed to figure out that i was my dad's kid, and she knows him because her friend works at one of my dad's regular drinking grounds (yes, one of) where he chills with the boys after work. how crazy is that? even CRAZIER still, HE is going to court tomorrow against his ex wife who is being represented by my father's BROTHER...lets call him uncle nacho (hi anita!). bad news for that guy...my uncle is a great lawyer...meaning able to sink to dispicable depths. definitely my cool work story of the day.

--i remembered i have havarti light cheese in the fridge during PM yoga and immediately fix me a sammich on whole wheat with tomato when the 'class' ends. tasty stuff. ive been living on the corn dog casserole (od'd on it actually, its enough) and those brussel sprouts. next up: shake and bake tofu cutlets with hoi sin sauce. cue mouth watering.

--had a very hard time waking up. i finished high fidelity last night and popped in almost famous. i was out before the end of the second scene from what i remember. in fact i am yawning right this second. and tomorrow is school too. i should really get the hell off the computer.

i think mayhaps i shall.

sorry to cut out mid blog like this, but reality bites.

=)

one love, the dream i see. better to download that mikey tune and check it out than sit here reading my daily crud anyway. so do that.

gnighty y'all.
remember, at your next pearl jam show: shut up and dance.

beardless ethan on letterman tonight. dave intro'd him as single and 27. these two things are good. and he talked about how he invented a cereal bowl with a deep end and a shallow end. you put the cereal on the shallow end and the milk in the deep end and add the cereal as you want so it doesnt get soggy.

do you need any more evidence that this is the man for me?

why didnt they show his damned audition tape? there is no justice. i wanna know what he did to get selected. maybe having the best hair on the planet is enough.

dave gave him a lovely deli platter, with three kinds of meat on it, etc. how lovely for the vegetarian. =)

today was a world better than yesterday. calmer, cooler, more controlled, and a short shift. i hope the week flies by as such...i cannot wait to have the weekend off.

the girl i work with who was once a camper of mine (have i mentioned her?) shocks the hell out of me. i look at her and see a little girl, and she sits there and tells me about anal sex and drinking jack daniels and i have to put my hands over my ears. she just laughs at me but i cant take it. anyway she has the hots for steve and he has told me about her and they both tell me about the other but neither of them know it. anyway she asked me if he took me home the other day so i said yes, but didnt mention how we went to eat because i...i dont know why, really. i just didnt. i was surprised by my guardedness...and its mostly inexplainable. guilt is so silly when there is no crime.

i broke my headphones today. the super long cord got stuck under my foot and it pulled in some way that seperated the big cushy earpiece from the band that holds it. IDIOT. FUCK. i was and continue to be so sad. they are my favorite possession, and now they are being held together by scotch tape. when i have the time and energy im gonna fix them up with my superstrength glue, tho i fear they will never be the same. its a sad day.

its not really a sad day, but that part of it was definitely the worst. when did i become such a damned klutz?

i thought lab rat tar ball would be a good band name because its the same backwards and forwards. i was pretty happy with it, and it was shot down instantly. do you guys think about good band names? like, all the time? or is it just me?

i worked on my homework assignment for about an hour today. i fixed it up and its pretty decent, but i know i will feel incompetent next to what the others do. but i know im not so i will forge ahead. its gonna be interesting to see what the others done did. today i got really excited for it to be wednesday so i could go to class...i thought it was tuesday today at one point. so i guess school is gonna replace survivor as my highlight of the week. incredible how things change. i used to dread having to go to class. when you know what you want to do, and have passion for that thing...the actual doing of it and learning about it and experiencing it...its the best.

i went to the store to buy chips and played with the puppy. by next week i wont be able to pick her up anymore, i was stunned at how big she's gotten since i saw her last, which was probably like ten days ago. she is so sweet, i totally love her. i played with her and held her for about ten minutes, and im sure the guys that work in the store would like to tell me to back off their dog. its supposed to be a guard dog and i have her licking my face and following me around and she's so cuddly adorable and cute.

then stein and i played commercial phone tag during boston public and she told me she might adopt a pup and sent me to the spca website and i was looking at all these sweet pooches and...no. two cats and a turtle and 5 plants is more than enough. and when (or if, the way the weather is going) there is a mad ass blizzard outside i will be happy that that is the case.

i have indigestion. i ate my dinner of thai flavored seitan with brussel sprouts and chips and dip and water from about 7 30-8 pm. i did yoga from 11-11 25. they say on the tape that after a big meal its best to wait 3-4 hours. they werent kidding. i think twisting and bending my body all around kinda shoved the food (its not really food anymore once its sitting inside me for several hours, is it?) into foreign spots and i can definitely feel it. i guess warnings are to be heeded and i deserve the repetition. mmm, 5 hour old semi digested chip burps. what could be better?

why you should be glad you dont talk to elmo:

elmo: want to hear a joke?
oshuns2: not if its the one where i say yes and you sign off
oshuns2: =P
elmo: no really
elmo: its a good joke
oshuns2: mhmm
oshuns2: go for it
elmo signed off at 12:54:21 AM.

*sigh*.

mac is asleep on top of the turtle tank. last night i fell asleep watching high fidelity. jack black dancing to walking on sunshine is worth the price of admission alone. does anyone know jack? can you hook us up? or at least can you send me to toronto for the 24th of january? i wrote adam email begging him to go with brent (must get his number and call...brent = goodness) and tape the show and received no reply. that is not a good sign. the nagging of adam will hit phase two tomorrow. ignore me, will ya? methinks not. there are steep prices to pay for such things.

joel is back from florida (or 'fleeze' as he calls it...you might have to be part of the jew crew to get that) and made it home driving in 25 hours. me and the girls drove down once straight through, for lollapalooza 92 actually, but i dont remember how long it took. to me that seemed way fast. anyway welcome home dude. i dont even know that you read this, but whatever.

so i think the second half of high fidelity is calling me. i know that damned alarm is going off at 8 45 no matter when i lie down, so sooner is probably better than later. thursday and friday im doing night shifts...sucks cuz i wont be working with steve, but really who gives a fuck because i'll be able to sleep in. and the angels sing. it'll be very interesting if i transfer to the new store (im thinking more and more again that i will, even tho the characters hired over there are ALL weird, and not so much in a good way, with the exception of julie), because i'd want full time hours which could mean at least two very early starts per week. as in the place opens at 6. complete lifestyle change-arounds. i dont even know that im capable. im so tired all the time. i imagine this is how anita feels alot. i dont especially like it...i dont know how she does it.

my eyes are wide, and my head is wide and its time to catch the z-train to dreamland. keep it real, yo.

one love, the dream i see.
me go sleepybye pronto immediate.

a few pointers because its not a night for blogging.

--yoga mellowed me out, tho i am still definitely rough around the edges. the mega frustration and post work pissed offness is wearing away though, and the baileys in my hot chocolate gets some credit for that too. what am i gonna do? stay in knots over it? i cant change it and i have to be back there tomorrow. oh, suzanne, derrick...thanks for your emails. those done good too.

--baileys in hot chocolate is good stuff.

--i am getting more into figure skating than anyone should be legally allowed to. but i can't wait to watch the canadians in the olympics: elvis stojko, bourne and krantz ( a routine to love story, and a routine to a michael jackson medley. woo!). it was elvis' last skate in the canadian nationals and he went first place with this perfect kick ass routine. you can catch highlights here. (ha you all so wont). plus there was this 19 year old russian born now canadian...wow. h-o-t. i wrote his name down somewhere. fedor andreev. or something. the kid has the good hair and fills out a clingy suit kinda nice.

--i found my checkbook. of the three places i usually keep it, it was in the remote third.

--i made a brussel sprout recipe and 'stephanie can read well but manages to miss important steps in directions.' so they were kinda fucked up, but still kinda tasty. the recipe would work well (i was so tempted to just say 'do good') with cauliflower too.

and i got nothing else. this morning i had jack black's voice in my head singing 'thats fucking teamwork' over and over and over, from 'fuck her gently.' i think i will give a few songs from that disc a spin right now before bed to get me giggling.

later skaters.

one love, the dream i see.

i cant believe i was complaining about not having to work. i am a sick puppy.

file it under decisions i cant make:
rufus wainwright and hayden are both playing montreal soonish. to go or not to go? i couldnt name one song by either of them, but know that i should. argh.

current state of mind: hating life.

i havent felt like this in a very long time. BAD MOOD. big and bad.

work sucked. it sucked the giant big suck. it was too much. 9 hours of no break, no food, non stop quick serving...not good. you start to get frazzled at 6 hours, goofy at 7 hours, grumpy and annoyed at 8 hours and that 9th hour is very easy to fuck shit up. which apparently i did because i have less than fucking ten percent of my sales in tips and that means somewhere along the lines i lost money. i'm thinking 20-50 dollars. so i did all that running and slaving for fucking nothing. ok, not nothing, but it feels like it. add to that that an annoying fucking waiter got all on my back just at my breaking point...he killed my mood. i flatlined for the last two hours i was there and didnt want to talk to anyone. i was exhausted and over emotional and just wanted the fuck out of there.

which i am now, but am not feeling any better, even with the help of music (gonna have to hit up the pearl jam any minute). usually a bad mood goes away when i leave, but the fatigue is causing me to cling to the mood with all ive got apparently.

i gotta do what i can to rinse it out. the fact that i have to be back there for 11 tomorrow is not making matters any goddamn better, either.

=/

me.

all day i have been preoccupied with with the fact that i have to be at work at 8 tomorrow morning, except when i was getting my legs/bikini wax...then i was just focused on the damned pain. men, you dont know how lucky you have it to have your natural body hair be socially acceptable.

but i digress. i should already be in the dark on the couch so i am short cutting it tonight.

first up: great news from allen!! wooo!!
next up: i receive two heavenly pictures of my curly locked dreamboat ethan via email. never to be deleted.
next up: great news from warren! the pics from new years are online. and i am about to link them up. im not going to tell you who's who in the pics because i am linking without their blessing and they may not want to be photo-identified, but i am pretty excited to share snippets of my home with y'all, and for today it seemed too much work to get the pics up here individually and seperately. in the near future.

for those that don't know, it is i with the green tshirt over the white longsleeves. ive wanted to paint my kitchen for a good long while, and seeing these photos of how gross the walls in there look cements it. soon this blog will have color charts o rama. the extreme close up is me, and my favorite of me is the second to last one. the two before it on the couch are me not knowing the answer in trivial pursuit, a look that is pretty common whenever i play trivial pursuit.

just kidding, i know everything.

like to say that the pics can be found, courtesy of the fabulously computalented and ultra goofy wunderkind i know as warren, here. check out the grub, yo. we shoulda done an extreme close up on the tiramisu. it was the goods. i also really like that clueless one of me with the black and white pic of me sidestage at woodstock watching dmb in 99.

thanks war, you rock.

i done cooked me my veggie corn dog casserole, and its pretty tastay.

earlier tonight brad told me that not only has he never seen neil diamond in the jazz singer, but that he doesnt think love on the rocks is one of the all time greatest songs in the universe. he left me no choice. even though we aren't romantically linked in any way and never have been, i still had to break up with him:

oshuns2: do you not fiind love on the rocks to be one of the greatest songs ever written?
oshuns2: as in EVER
BowlinBrad: no. i find sly & the family stone's 'dance to the music/music lover/i want to take you higher' medley from the original woodstock to be one of the greatest songs ever written.
oshuns2: i dont think you and i should see each other anymore
oshuns2: its not you, its me
oshuns2: you deserve someone better
oshuns2: im not ready for this right now
BowlinBrad: come on baby, i can change
BowlinBrad: just one more try
oshuns2: im sorry, i never wanted to hurt you
BowlinBrad: you said i was 'the best ever'
BowlinBrad: do you really want to make me cry?
oshuns2: hahaha i never said that unless i was reading the script you gave me
oshuns2: dont cry my sweet love, nothing i say is written in stone
BowlinBrad: you said you didn't believe in god until i showed him to you that night in milwaukee after the duran duran show
oshuns2: !!
oshuns2: duran duran is on right now
oshuns2: =)
BowlinBrad: see?
BowlinBrad: you're just trying to hang on to what we had
oshuns2: i just...i need some time
oshuns2: i need some space
oshuns2: we need a break
oshuns2: a break from us
BowlinBrad: BITCH DON'T MAKE ME ANGRY
oshuns2: hahaha
oshuns2: i wish i could live the lie
BowlinBrad: my addiction to flintstones chewables shouldn't tear us apart
oshuns2: you should have never called me wilma that night
BowlinBrad: i had just never seen a bathroom that clean
oshuns2: if you really loved me you would have seen the jazz singer and acknowledged love on the rocks as one of the best songs ever written
oshuns2: now i feel like i dont know you anymore
oshuns2: and im not sure i ever did
BowlinBrad: oh man
BowlinBrad: where do you come up with these lines
oshuns2: im 30
oshuns2: ive heard or said em all
BowlinBrad: mostly heard, huh?
oshuns2: actually yes, thanks for bringing that up
oshuns2: =P
oshuns2: you cut me off before the grand finale of
oshuns2: I DONT LOVE YOU ANYMORE

did i miss any good break up cliche-ays? i dont think i did. you should go check brad's latest update, mostly because its main theme seems to be yours truly. it seems he didnt enjoy the riff raff label i gave him and that other dude yesterday. who needs don king with self promotion ability like this? also, i guess you could say he's an entertaining writer. plus, he has pictures. i prolly just lost all of y'all. i know! i'll start giving out free donuts to daily readers. but i get a bite of every single one. that beats pictures hands down.

i have to be awake in about 6 and a half hours. how much does that suck? all the more when you factor in that not only will it likely be insanely crazy running for NINE hours, but also that im not off again until my shift ends the following friday. ay carumba.

and i really want to stay up because on the repeat snl paul young is the musical guest. i wanna tear your playhouse down era is what im thinking. i loved me some paul young back in the day. i should prolly get some. see toby, i liked the brit pouty boys too.

next week's snl: JACK BLACK and the strokes. wooooooo JB!!

some clarification is in order: i did NOT knock over a plant. i knocked over a huge ugly decorative piece that was filled with sand, with what are essentially sticks sticking out of it. fancy sticks. i killed nary a root, leaf or flower.

ok this is already longer than what i intended. nighty night and wish me luck for tomorrow. write and tell me what you think of the pics and such, or do so in the ol guestbook if its easier. feedback as always is much enjoyed, even if its to say my house looks like a slum pit and myself a dreg of society.

have a good sunday. long live sundays off. short live one day weekends.

one love, the dream i see.

still no checkbook.

=)