habit

jamie and david have their gold, finally, and rightfully so.

but its too little too late. their shining moment will always be stained...at least until they expose and correct the corruption. the medal has lost its value and merit. there was no tie, there should only be one gold medal winner. the awarding of it today was more of a 'hey media, back off our scandal, look we'll give you what you want' than a 'we admit we are dirty and got it wrong. this is to set it right. jamie and david are gold, and the russians are silver.'

yeah yeah its not the russians fault. but so what. they would probably feel relieved to be rid of those medals they know they didnt truly win. yes they are brilliant skaters. but in that contest canada was better. end story.

so i just hope the media does NOT back off and does demand answers. the cbc olympic host guy is not appeased either. he is appalled by the olympic committee's ignorance of their absolute lack of integrity. that french judge was fired and is being used totally as a scapegoat for all the corruption behind her. as if she worked alone. jamie and david want the truth exposed to help the sport they love, so i cant help but want that for them too. thursday night they get the medals. i cant wait.

oh, and a message for the president of the IOC:

hey you stupid fuck, you are FRENCH. her name isnt 'sale' like a sale at macy's, its sall-ay. everyone and their mom knows that by now. havent you fucking slighted them enough? at least get her fucking name right when you go about moving from wrong to right! stupid bastard.

and another thing. they showed jamie and david going to the canada-sweden hockey game. they had to have security around them because there was a HUGE mob of media people crowding in on them and pushing in and it just looked really scary and intense. that shit creeps me out so bad. must be horrible to be the prey they want. i wonder what they would do if the security wasnt there. just crush them? pile on top of them and give them corneal damage from the flashes on their cameras?

anyway. they dont need to wear gold. they ARE gold.

my whole olympic obsession...i can explain it:

salt lake city = africa or the outback
canada = ethan or colby
olympics = survivor

go canada! its nice to feel my national pride again. i've always loved my country and being canadian...but its so at the surface right now.

ok. im totally gonna ape jess and do the friday FOUR. fuck dragging on about what im gonna do all weekend every damn friday.

1. What was the first thing you ever cooked?
honestly, how in the fuck am i supposed to remember that? i have no idea. an omelette? stove top popcorn? no clue.

2. What's your signature dish?
hmm. ive been so lazy lately...no groceries at all till i clean my fridge...maybe by the weekend..anyway, i havent cooked as much lately. its silly to make a big batch of stuff just for me. i guess it could be eggplant parmesan...no! its white trash meatballs which i make with veggie ground round, a tin of canned mushroom bits, and a sauce made of, get this: ketchup and ginger ale. and they KICK much ASS. but i stole that from my mom, along with her cabbage soup recipe which i can never get to be as good as hers. i was really digging the sweet potato latkes i made too. but its the white trash meatballs. i am very fond of the moosewood cookbook series. i'm far more of a cook in the summer.

3. Ever had a cooking disaster?
i'd say my successes just barely outweigh my disasters. ok thats an exaggeration...but there's plenty. at new years i wanted to put one shake of red chili flakes into the green beans. they were good to go. i went to shake, and the fucking lid came off and doused the whole batch, making them ring-of-fire-inducing if you know what i mean and if you dont you dont want to. i once baked sweet potato bread in san fran and no matter how many times i kept putting the loaves back in the centers wouldnt bake, so we ate the baked part around the doughy middle.

4. If skill and money were no object, what would make for your dream meal?
fuck man, i need neither skill nor riches for a dream meal...i have dream meals all the time, and it would depend on the day. sometimes there is nothing better than a veggie burger, fries and diet coke at harvey's...truthfully nothing. sometimes its kickass sushi. sometimes its general tao tofu or pad thai. i love food far too much to design one dream menu. my dream meal would be a huge buffet table stocked with all my favorites, with a nice dessert section set up too. alot of stuff would be made by my mom.

end friday four.

so i dragged my ass to work for 9 as requested. i thought 'call first, stephanie, maybe you can keep sleeping' but didnt. when i got there it was dead. my manager looked at me and smiled and said 'breakfast is on me'. i started at my regular 11 am shift and got up at frickin 7 30 for nothing. but the swiss-mushroom-asparagus omelette rocked. and our potatoes are delicioso.

after work i picked up some stuff. exciting things like deodorant (i can only wear arrid xx roll on. my armpits laugh at the aerosol), q-tips, garbage bags...and a bag of 25 tea light candles for 2 bux. at pier one they wanted like 2000 dollars for a bag of 100. anita can vouch. i got some other stuff but its Top Secret.

i saw a fucking gorgeous cd holder today. its fake antique, made of dark wood. its a vertical one with a door, and the door has a glass panel on the front of it, and behind it are all these mini antique looking music things...like a jimi and beatles album cover, a mini guitar...its totally hot. i wanted to make sweet love to it. until i found it costs 345 dollars.

i love windshield washer fluid. happiness is cleaning your windshield every three seconds and instantly getting rid of the blotchy splash ups.

im so thirsty. im gonna make me a half baileys half amaretto concoction. hmm. interesting tasting. quite good. but it smells a little too much like nail polish remover. better drink it quick. =) im no longer thirsty...but i have a warm burny feeling in my chest. i bet the amaretto gives me heartburn. i cant drink orange gatorade for that reason. ah, aging. its so graceful.

so i'm off until thursday and have nothing planned. i bet i love it for three days and then get bored and stiry crazy-esque. hopefully i use the time to get my shit in order. clean the house, the turtle tank, get groceries...it needs it. hopefully get to the gym, work out a bit, get some yoga in. i needs it.

chantal called me today. she just got back from cambodia two days ago, and is off to florida for the weekend. we only talked a minute, she was at the airport and my cell was dying, but she had enough time to tell me that she 'caught a parasite' there and is taking all kinds of pills for it. comparatively, in my life today i almost stubbed my toe. not that im envious of her parasite...just her job is bad ass and all exotic like. chantal rocks.

so now im stalling because after american hockey they are showing the ice dance second compulsary. after the first compulsary the canadian pair of borne and kraatz are in 4th. boys, methinks you will like shaylynn borne. however the fuck you spell her name. definitely not the way i did. its only the damned second period tho.

good ani news: she has started adding dates again, so not all hope is lost for canada. the latest are virginia and north and south carolina shows, which were certainly not there earlier this week. come on ani! north, north, north!

tonight was weezer at the molson center. i coulda scored me a bunch of nerdsexys tonight i betcha. minus the sexy. muahahahahhahha. any band that wrote that horrid sweater song is devil spawn.

oh yay! 'and you will know us by the trail of dead' are coming to my city! some of you get ben folds and ani and csny and and and and and. but *i* get 'and you will know us by the trail of dead'. dont be jealous. the most exciting shows coming to montreal that i can pick from the montreal list in my opinion are: stars on ice & jackie mason. whats that say about me? ok so dmb is coming but ive seen them umpteen times. i prolly will go again, but if they play ants > watchtower...its over.

ok im all distracted by this stuff i cant really mention.

=)
till tomorrow my loves...

one love, the dream i see...

exciting addition: searches that led to my site today:


#1 no comment necessary

and

#2 which rocks because that was an AWESOME totally memorable show for me: first time front row. yeah baby!

ok, now really good night.

so i shouldnt even write tonight because its going to erase yesterdays entry which at least had interesting links in it...but i kinda feel obliged. its gonna be short because my manager asked me to come in for 9 in the morning instead of the scheduled 11, and i said fine because i'll be off till the following thursday and the hours and cash wont hurt. the waking up at 7 30 might, but not the cash.

i forgot to mention that last night in class two different people brought stuff for me. SO nice. mike brought me the stephen king tv miniseries 'rose red' that i couldnt see because i dont have cable...and this guy whose name i dont know and who has a crazy cool accent brought me an expos programme for the 2001 season and a ball signed by vladdy and two other players whose sigs i cant make out. how crazy awesome is that? me = happy happy.

work was ridiculous quiet tonight. it was kind of nice to slack around, but it was hurtin in the bank if you know what im saying.

earlier today mac threw up twice. i went instantly into worried mama mode. no hairballs...just two puddles of not quite water. poor little guy. he seems fine now though.

you know...thats all i got tonite. it was just a day. i got windshield washer fluid. i liked the way my hair looked. that about wraps it up. wish i could say more...but i cant.

i have to return memento tomorrow and ive yet to see it to its end. i keep falling asleep during it...not that its bad.

the new todd solondz movie comes out tomorrow. i have tentative plans to go see it with joel.

and thats it. tomorrow is canada men's hockey and ice dance. woo. olympic fever lives on.

good night y'all.

one love, the dream i see.

go have a good time. check out the ninjas.

i guess its a rare thing but im not really in the mood tonight. im way tired and id rather be on the couch not thinking, frankly. here's a skeleton:

woke up to yet another gorgeous sunny day. how fabulous i got to spend it inside at work at a place in a mall with no windows. but there was a perk: i am off: saturday-sunday-monday-tuesday-wednesday. WOO!! its like a frickin vacation. i cannot wait.

worked. sucked.

saw footage of david crosby onstage at a csny concert in toronto last night holding a home made sign that read 'jamie and david: YOU WUZ ROBBED' up over his head as he paced the stage madly. how fucking cool. tonight i saw them onstage with the barenaked ladies, and apparently time magazine wants to do a cover and rosie wants them on and its beyond a medal now. im thinking the olympic committee is going to hit them with a belated gold medal. as if the medals have any meaning anymore. jamie and david are above the gold, just in their attitudes. them canadians are platinum.

came home and wrote out my homework. i thought it was pretty lame-o-rolla, and i didnt want to read it in class. but i did because i didnt wanna be a spoilsport. they liked it and thought it worked. i felt like i was sitting there naked. here's what a i writed:

Dream Sequence----
I went into a lake, planning to...I can't remember. Friends said 'be careful.’ I shrugged them off. It was sunny and lagoon-like and calm and pretty. I tried to get aboard this wooden raft that was four small logs bound together. There was no fear as I tried to get onto the raft. It kept moving away. I felt warm and tranquil. I was swimming over to it again when suddenly a fin rose up in the water. I was instantly filled with panic and dread...I was a goner because here was Jaws. I was terrified and paralyzed. Except it wasn’t Jaws. When the animal surfaced it was a dolphin. It cooed at me and bumped me playfully. It allowed me to touch and swim with it and it was amazing.

Dolphin, why were you in my dream? What were you doing there?

My porpoise in the dream was to serve as a wake up call (pardon the pun) as to how you are living your life, and as a reminder to relax and lighten up. Your reign as the queen of Worst-Case-Scenarios and Doomsday-Clock-Watching must come to an end. You have wasted enough time and energy in life by being afraid of things that exist only in your imagination. You must learn to live in the present tense. There is no sense fearing what may bubble up from below the surface before it does. And you know it.

For days and weeks before you board an airplane: certainty of death by horrible accident, lack of sleep, intense neuroses.
Result of every flight you’ve ever boarded: safe travel.
Every time you sit down in a movie theater: check for emergency exits.
Amount of times you’ve had to evacuate? Zero.

When you saw my fine fin you jumped to one of your typical conclusions. SHARK! All your terror, your panic, your absolute certainty that death was imminent…all for nothing. Everything was fine. In fact, it was a dream come true. Swimming with dolphins, total relief and joy.

You know that feeling of relief too well. All your sharks turn out to be dolphins. So why not lose the fear? Lose the fear, Stephanie. Lose the fear.

anita read it and read the last line as 'use the force, luke'. funny. i think it would have been more interesting to write from the log's perspective but its too late now, and i think the raft was saying the same thing as the dolphin.

anyway, before i read it i was explaining how i wrote as a dolphin, and aaron who was sitting next to me, burst out laughing, so in mid sentence i told him to shut up and continued and the class laughed. aaron goes 'no, see, we went out for coffee during the week and she told me the dream then so its just funny...' and the whole class kind of looked at us like 'ohhhhhhh!!!' in a gossipy way so now im thinking they think all naughty stuff. funny. i told him if im his lady now he can buy me some flowers for valentines day. we laughed.

in fact when he came into class and sat next to me it was cool...everytime someone said some weird shit or bad writing or anything i could feel him looking at me and we'd just exchange eye contact. friends are good.

the boy of whom i am a fan was absent. argh.

anita and i scoffed veggie burgers with cheese and poutine. again. anita and i are turning into veggie burgers and poutine.

speaking of food, i decided to attempt to combat headaches by actually eating immediately after work. i stopped in for a falafel sammich and was so starving that as soon as i got into the car i opened it and took a bite. now, i watched the guy make the thing, i watched him stick it in the nuker, i watched them bag it for me and everything. and yet...what i got me was a mouth full of chicken. it was so fucking grainy and disgusting. blech. fucking i dont know how it happened...but there you have it...and i SO did not enjoy it. the aftertaste was making me sick. i went right back in there and they changed it for me, but it was too late. the damage was done. oh well, not much i can do about that.

after school gave aaron a ride home while anita chatted openly about how she nearly barfed in class and how she'd love to take a nice shit and how last week she almost had to jump out of the shower to do just that....right in front of this new person. the girl is shameless. its great. what a classy dame.

MY ABSOLUTE NEW FAVORITE THING ON THE INTERNET RIGHT NOW IS THIS.
oh holy lord i cant see it and not laugh. for those who dont know...thats jess and bowman at a meet&greet with aaron carter. hahahahhahahhaa and look how fucking happy they are. oh man. hahhahahhahhahahaha. i love my friends. what dorks.

also interesting internet news:

from this week's edition of the stranger:
Friends and loved ones gathered at Capitol Hill's Baltic Room on Sunday, February 10, to celebrate the life and mourn the recent passing of Troy Bethel, a friend of the local music community. Hosted by longtime friends Jeff Ofelt and Wade Weigel (part-owners of the Cha Cha and Chop Suey), the memorial featured a wall of photos and a video montage of various performances and candid moments from Troy's rich life. Recent L.A. transplant Mario Diaz summed up by telling the crowd, "Although he was never famous, Troy was a star." A two-song acoustic performance from a newly mohawked Eddie Vedder left hardly a dry eye in the house, particularly since it included a Cat Stevens song from one of Troy's favorite movies, Harold and Maude. Many in the crowd noted how Troy would have loved the fact that his memorial service featured enough "star power" to make "the society pages." This is the best I can do for you. Rest in peace, Troy Boy.

i dont know who troy was, but it sounds like lots of folks loved him. i also find it odd that eddie vedder's hairstyle gets mentioned in a death notice. i am a mega fan of harold and maude, and the entire soundtrack is done by cat stevens. i wonder which two songs they were. it must have been so moving. ed's voice can getcha at any time...but at a funeral...wow.

anyone who wants to laugh....(naw, steph..im not in the mood to have fun. ha)...go here pronto and read that full page. funny shit brought to my attention by he of sock fame. the letter to people who dont like his page is pretty instant classic too. oh man. hahahhahhaha.

oh christ, i am totally lost in that ninja site now. and there's no way i can top it. leave me alone and go read that stuff. its way more entertaining than i could dream of being right now. and GO, its funny shit.

one love, the dream i see.

last night i dreamed of donuts.

i woke up at noon to the sound of elmo screaming into my telephone. the kid is a maniac. the kid needs a hug. send him one.

alex also is a kid in need of a hug. send him one too.

so. it seems like the great majority of folks are right with me on this olympic judges are motherfucking idiots thing. but it gets worse. it seems the fix was in, and there are rumors a judge on the pairs panel had a deal with a judge on the dance panel to vote for the russians if they vote for the french. there's an 'investigation'. gee, i wonder if nothing will change. hey olympic committee: like, superfuckingyawn. you wanna do something? rip the gold off the russians necks and slap them with the silver and give the canadians the fucking medal they earned. shove your investigation up your corrupt and ugly ass.

i did manage to get a shitload of stuff done today...tho none of it involved my homework due TOMORROW. eek...there just wasnt enough time and zero inspiration. im just not thrilled with the excercise. its not ringing any creative bells in me. i went to get my paycheck from old montreal...no dice. the manager is out till thursday. then i went to get my plateau paycheck...mission accomplished. made a stop and scored catfood and kitty litter, then went to visit kelcey at work. he gave me this invitation to a movie screening and i need to call a 1-800 to reserve tickets for me and my 'guests'. how elite. the flick is some angelina jolie dealie with the bonus being that it takes place in seattle. hopefully it was filmed there. i just want it to be singles. its not gonna be.

anyway it was really good to see kelcey. i saw a bunch of folks from the old place where i worked before...it was kinda nice. i could have stayed for free dinner but my damn meter was running out and so i split. bummeroni.

so ive been having mild headaches pretty chronically for the last few days. im not too sure what thats about.. maybe its got to do with the fact that i only eat once a day and am probably dehydrated since most of what i drink is coffee these days. not good. im not taking care of myself in the physical sense these days. i gotta get my routine back in order. winter comes and hibernation mode is hard to fight. but the headaches are a bit much. so i gotta at least drink more water.

when i went out to the car i found a package delivery notice in my mailbox. sweet! i went to get that and it was a birthday box from joe. i thought the poster had been the gift...turns out no. that nutjob sent me an ani solo disc, a live radiohead disc (vancouver), the i am sam soundtrack, and a leonard cohen. he also sent me about a bazillion ani tapes that he 'liquidated'. i was laughing at the amount of them because theres not enough time left in the year to listen to them all. so i called him up to thank him and surprised the hell out of him. i cant tell you how good it was to hear his laugh. i miss him lots.

in the evening i went to my dads because missing my skaters on leno was not an option. normally i hate jay leno but he gained major points with me tonight by having them on and even more for playing the anthem and waving our flag and keeping it onstage the whole show. thats a great tribute. and he referred to them as the winners numerous times. go jay!

before i left i spoke to anita briefly and at the end of the convo she said 'drive carefully'. normally i dont think she says that so it made me all nervous about driving. on the way home it was a bit slippy so i decided to take the highway and this van passed me and i needed to clean my windshield but alas no windshield washer fluid came out and my window became extremely dirty and fogged in all of a sudden and i basically couldnt see and panicked and hit the brake. if it hadnt been as late as it was it would have been an accident for sure...i thought it was going to be. i almost stopped. i couldnt see, and it was right at this huge turn..and sarah's version of blackbird was on the radio and my entire insides were seized and...i hit defog and rolled down a window and...i was fine. it was a very scary moment and i was sure that anita had put the jinx on me...i visualized her saying 'the last thing i told her was to drive carefully...' and having all this guilt and...fuck am i ever worst case scenario girl. scary stuff.

when i got off the highway and pulled up to the light on st catherine and st laurence street a squeegee kid came up and was working on my windshield in less than half a second (the olympic judges would have given him bronze). normally id wave him away or be all annoyed. tonight, after that mishap, i lowered my window and gave him two bucks. a clean windshield (or less dirty one anyway) was just what i needed. i coulda hugged him.

oh! in the parking garage at my dad's people sometimes leave furniture stuff that they replace or are sick of. when i left there was this really really big mirror with a deep colored wooden frame...in totally fine condition. its now sitting in the backseat of the car and is mine, all mine. score!

ok, i am gonna cut myself off here and hit the couch. i have to work tomorrow and its quarter to my favorite number.

have a great wednesday and send me writing vibes tomorrow so i can squeak out something halfway decent for class.

one love, the dream i see....

TONIGHT: JAMIE SALE AND DAVID PELLETIER ON LENO!!!!!!!!!!!

i knew this would be a huge scandal...but i didnt know it would be this huge. im going to my dad's...where there's cable. later much.

memento wasnt rewound so while it rewinds i thought id come add some postscript...this first bit will make better sense after you read the original entry below, or if you saw the events.

i just caught jamie sale and david pelletier in studio at cbc sports. they had them watch their performance, and split the screen so we could see them watching it, and so that they could see their moms watching it...and it was great to see their reactions and get the play by play from them. the interviewer mentioned how when the gold medalists skated up to the podium david really pumped his hand and congratulated him fully and sincerely. david said its not the fault of the skater and he has nothing against him, or anyone else. he said its not up to him to say they were robbed or judge the judges...that he signed up to be judged by going into skating in the first place, and that a champion accepts the marks he gets. amazing sportsmanship. the best i think i've ever seen.

then she asked jamie what she will take away from the experience. jamie said she just so badly wanted to see the canadian flag in the middle, and hear 'o canada'...then she looked down and when she looked back up she was all teary and big fat tears rolled down her cheeks and had no words and its just heartbreaking disappointment. the judges should be forced to watch that tape every day for the rest of their lives. i want to make home made gold medals for them and show up at whichever canadian airport they land in with them.

the medals should have been:
gold-canada-sale and pelletier
silver-russia
bronze-usa

anyway. i did catch this guy i never heard of before called victor webster on mike bullard. oh my HOT. and then flipped to craig and mr ashton kutcher was in the guest chair. turbo HOT. mama liked. and when i say hot i dont just mean because they are absolutely delicious to look at (they are). but they both are really charismatic funny goofy chill dudes. where can i get me some of that?

ok memento so done rewinding.

a wee note to the olympic figure skating pairs judges:

i am sure that you are wonderful beloved people, talented and knowledgeable in the realm of skating. i am also sure that you are mother fucking blind cataract laden biased stupid absolutely RETARDED cocksmokers who wouldnt know a performance worthy of gold if it fucking walked up and spit in your eye, which it fucking should.

its ok though, you blindass bastardly souless communist fucksticks, its ok. the crowd knew who REALLY won gold, chanting for you to give jamie and david 6s and BOOING your stank asses when you placed them absurdly and without reason or justice in second place. the commentators knew (in the states dorothy hamill said something about being embarrassed for figure skating at that moment, and the canadian commentators said 'thats just wrong' and 'apparently 5 of the judges thought the russians did something better than the canadians, and id like to know from each of them exactly what that might have been'). but most important, the skaters themselves knew it. the russians KNOW they fucked up, that he wobbled a landing very obviously and that no matter what award they got that they werent the best. their faces screamed second best. the canadians know they never skated better and were completely without flaw.

so in summary, olympic judges: go fuck a windmill. and when you're done, you can come to canada and our entire populus will line up and you can kiss our asses one by one.

not that im minorly ticked off or anything. if sale and pelletier had fucked up i could understand. but i see no reason why they should have taken the silvers, not that thats not great...just that it wasnt the right medal. i felt for them, and they were so classy about it. they have great sportsmanship and attitudes and are real champions. i am really impressed by both of them and am actually proud to have them representing canada. they seem like really happy, positive, great people. and funny too. and they're a couple. awwwww.

its official. i would go see stars on ice.

anyway. on to the men's and the pairs dancing. elvis stojko and borne/krantz are the names you'll hear me cheering. but man am i pissed. 42 years since canada had the gold in pairs figure skating. and it so was ours. you were robbed, kids, you were robbed.

so its kind of funny how sheri and jess both mention google searches in their journals today, because earlier when i checked my hits for the day i saw two people had come to my site from google searches, and without knowing jess and sher wrote about this very thing, i saved the page so i could impress you with the freaks that click on my site. check this out:

person A did a search on: fucking locker room football team bus free pics

and found my site.

person B did a search on: little boy aunt foreskin

and found my site.

im not sure what to say about either of those. i would give it a gold in freakishness, but im sure the olympic judges would think its was perfectly normal. bastards. argh. slightly sidetracked tonight.

so lets see. work was good. the good natured but smallminded pro-steroid bartender i work with who never fails to heighten his commitment to proving himself to be the most ignorant person i know right now was the victim of my ever so sharp wit.
me: nice cappucino, chris
chris: thats cuz i made it
me:
chris: you should see what else i can do with these hands
me: ....count to ten?

cue the other waiter who was standing by giving me an actual high five and laughing his ass off. it was a thing of beauty. the olympic judges would have cast me eternally to the dungeon and given chris the key to the city because they have good taste like that.

i woke up before my alarm ever went off today. it was set for 9:15. i think these early mornings are becoming habit. yikes-o-rama. but i rented memento to watch tonight and am looking forward to it so i might be up very late and that might mean a good sleep in and the messing up of my cycle all over again. but who cares because i am OFF tomorrow and it feels like gold (or silver, according to the olympic crew from tonight).

twice while i was watching the skating mac came up and crawled into my lap. we have this system worked out so that he can lie down (its more of a collapse) jn my arms and on my lap the way youd hold a baby if you were looking down at it. he's such good company. i pay close attention to his breathing sometimes because the vet told me he has a heart murmur and sometimes he sounds like he's wheezing and it scares me. i love the dude. we have such a cool relationship where we look at each other in the eyes all the time and he always wants to be where i am. good kitty. he just curled up on the desk in front of the monitor and is sniffing my headphones.

i need a hook on the side of my desk to hang my headphones on, the way kyle said he has. thats a damn good idear.

ricky schroeder used to say 'idear' all the time on silver spoons and my pupils must have gone heart shaped every single time.

on tomorrow's agenda:
-pick up stray paychecks from other locations of restaurant
-talk to landlord about noisy neighbors and lock
-call unemployment people to see what i should do since i have a part time job
-get in touch with kelcey. its been too long.
-clean refrigerator
-get groceries

how many of those will i actually accomplish? hahhahahaha. im thinking...half. if im active.

so my hair. you know...if i flip it out it does what i want it to do. but if i just straighten it i find it looks like a frickin helmet and its cuz the layers on top are longer than they need to be to do what i want to do. but i feel ridiculous going back again and asking her to fix it again...so i dont know what to do. just fucking let it grow, i guess. i THOUGHT she had layered it more when i went back to see her, but it turns out not close to enough. maybe i should go to my old hairdresser and get him to fix it. but i dont trust him. he's a maniac with the scissors. argh.

so jess added an element to her journal tonight. something along the lines of 'line of song that sticks in your head'. the cd player in my dad's car doesnt work so i am stuck with radio. as a result ive heard this song with the chorus/line 'dont say its over, its so not over' repeated in it a bunch of times, and its totally addictive. its by big sugar and i think it might be called 'so not over'. go listen to it.

brad: good luck with all that, yo. you can do it. cuz yer all smurt and stuff.

and thats it. the movie's a-beckoning.

one love, the dream i see.

posted by s**  # 12:47 AM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GALLAHOOCH. BITCH, YOU IS 40 AND THAT PERM NEVER LOOKED SO GOOD.

i have just popped in ben folds 'rockin the suburbs' for the first time. the first song is halfway over. i love it already. coil, you officially rock. better print that and blow it up tho, dude. cant imagine saying it again.

suddenly i have a weird headache. blah. not at all related to my man ben.

it was sunday but didnt feel like it at all since i worked. it fucks my shit all up to work sundays. felt more like a monday and i come home all discombobulated and mixed up as to where everyone else is. it was a really good day at work. no stress, good flow of customers, and the new truce with paul actually held up. it was fun. this guy i rarely work with was there and he called me 'fraggle rock' or just 'fraggle' all day because of my hair. he must have thought it bugged me, but i found it amusing. pretty fitting too actually.

random ben folds lyric inclusion: what he just sang: from still fighting it: everybody knows it sucks to grow up and everybody does

the rush slowed down early enough that i was able to get out of there a full hour early. it was the bestest. and even bestester was that since all my coworkers had to be up super early like me, most of them stayed home last night and watched the olympics, and so i was able to discuss the figure skating. the full program and medals are tomorrow (monday) night. please please watch. the three top contenders skate in their current standing orders, later in the night. eastern time i would tune in at 10:30 if you just wanna catch those performances. but really, tune in and watch sale and pelletier. they are skating their 'love story' programme and its beautiful.

in my house on parkview my parents had three wooden i-dont-know-what-to-call-thems in the living room, filled with books they read. when i needed a read sometimes id scan the shelves and see if i could find something to try. one day i pulled 'love story' off the shelf. i started it in bed, and i didnt put it down until it was finished. i loved it. it made me cry and was just so much more moving than the movie, which i watched afterward. so the music they skate to gets to me on all these different levels. great book.

the only other book i can remember reading through the night that way was danielle steele's fine things. its possible ive mentioned that here before. how sad is that.

when i left work it was raining and milder than mild and in no way winter. i called the dude from my class who ive decided looks a lot like the guy mark that becky married on roseanne, and organized grabbing some grub to discuss the homework. he picked me up in his awesome tiny little car that is covered in stickers with a big '75' on each side and we ate at santropol because i was dyin for one of their chili salads. im really hoping that the chili salad has nothing to do with how weird im feeling presently.

it was a fun time. he and i are really different but not in a way that annoyed me at all. we kind of laughed at each other here and there and just talked a bunch about lots of stuff. he squinches his eyebrows together alot when he talks and i kept saying 'quit squinching your eyebrows at me' and he kept tellin me to get used to it. i was totally exhausted and was potentially lame flaky company but whatever. its weird getting to know someone better. it in no way was a date of any kind and it had no romantic undertones at all and when i got out of the car he offered me his hand..not to shake, not to high five...just to kind of have for a second. and that seemed to fit perfectly.

he has been all over the planet. canada coast to coast, most of the states, europe, asia...he just goes. man do i ever envy that ability. to not be tied down by responsibility or fear or just stuff and to go go go. always have, probably always will.

i dropped off j's birthday present after getting out of the car and then came home and am just tired and blah.

OH!! i am off THREE glorious days this week. tuesday, saturday and sunday. so so so nice. tuesday i will write my story for class, which is the closest ive cut it since starting. ive liked the cycle of writing it a few days before and then leaving it and coming back to it. but this week didnt afford me that method so i'll just have to make the best of it.

my stomach is definitely weird. im gonna go chew some papaya.

i leave you with the amazingly hilarious lyrics to the title track, which includes a very obvious spoof of rage against the machine's song that has the 'fuck you i wont do what you tell me' refrain. my favorite rage song of the 5 or so that i know, by the way.

"Rockin' The Suburbs"

Let me tell y'all what it's like
Being male, middle-class and white
It's a bitch, if you don't believe
Listen up to my new CD
Sham on

I got shit runnin' throught my brain
It's so intense that I can't explain
All alone in my white-boy pain
Shake your booty while the band complains

I'm rockin' the suburbs
Just like Michael Jackson did
I'm rockin' the suburbs
Except that he was talented
I'm rockin' the suburbs
I take the cheques and face the facts
That some producer with computers fixes all my shitty tracks

I'm pissed off but I'm too polite
When people break in the McDonald's line
Mom and Dad you made me so uptight
I'm gonna cuss on the mic tonight

I don't know how much I can take
Girl, give me something I can break

I'm rockin' the suburbs
Just like Quiet Riot did
I'm rockin' the suburbs
Except that they were talented
I'm rockin' the suburbs
I take the cheques and face the facts
That some producer with computers fixes all my shitty tracks

In a haze these days
I pull up to the stop light
I can feel that something's not right
I can feel that someone's blasting me with hate
And bass
Sendin' dirty vibes my way
'Cause my great great great great Grandad
Made someones' great great great great Grandaddies slaves
It wasn't my idea
It wasn't my idea
Never was my idea

I just drove to the store
For some Preparation-H

Y'all don't know what it's like
Being male, middle-class and white
Y'all don't know what it's like
Being male, middle-class and white
Y'all don't know what it's like
Being male, middle-class and white
Y'all don't know what it's like
Being male, middle class and white

It gets me real pissed off, it makes me wanna say
It gets me real pissed off and it makes me wanna say
It gets me real pissed off and it makes me wanna say
FUCK!

Just like Jon Bon Jovi did
I'm rockin' the suburbs
Except that he was talented
I'm rockin' the suburbs
I take the cheques and face the facts
That some producer with computers fixes all my shitty tracks

These days
Yeah yeah
I'm rockin' the suburbs
Yeah yeah
I'm rockin' the suburbs
Yeah yeah

You'd better look out, because I'm gonna say 'Fuck'
You'd better look out, because I'm gonna say 'Fuck'
You'd better look out, because I'm gonna say 'Fuck'
You'd better look out, because I'm gonna say 'Fuck'

oh christ. and he ends the album with this, and its making my eyes all teary. you gotta hear it. oh man oh man. what a beautiful love song. makes me wish i needed a wedding song to dance to. beautiful.

"The Luckiest"

I don't get many things right the first time
In fact, I am told that a lot
Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls
Brought me here

And where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely face?
Now I see it everyday
And I know
That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

What if I'd been born fifty years before you
In a house on a street where you lived?
Maybe I'd be outside as you passed on your bike
Would I know?

And in a wide sea of eyes
I see one pair that I recognize
And I know
That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you

Next door there's an old man who lived to his nineties
And one day passed away in his sleep
And his wife; she stayed for a couple of days
And passed away
I'm sorry, I know that's a strange way to tell you that I know we belong
That I know
That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

*sigh*

one love, the dream i see.

last night my goddam basshole neighbors started blaring the bass at about midnight. at about 2:30 i had had it and called the police and made an official noise complaint asking to remain anonymous, and as of 3:30 it was still going and i fell asleep so i dont know if the cops ever showed or what. its quiet now and i have to work tomorrow at 8:30 in the damn morning so it better stay quiet, or im calling the fuzz again.

so i rushed home to be here for 6 pm only to find out that the performance of figure skating i wanted to see wouldnt be on until 9. im all about david pelletier and jamie sale. he is so funny and they have this great chemistry...and they skated PERFECTLY, with humor and nailed every single thing...and then right at the end, the last last pose, when he dips her...something happened and he lost his balance and they kind of tumbled to the ice...and it was funny, but it also wasnt. right now after short programs they sit in second place i think completley because of that because they totally outskated the roosekies in first place. i want them to get the gold. canada hasnt had a gold in figure skating pairs since 1960. its been all russia since then. fuck that flub at the end is frustrating. i hope they let it go so they can bring it home. i dont know if id be able to shake it off. maybe thats why im not a pro athelete. yeah, thats why. anyway, this is our year. gold gold gold!

they are so cool tho. in interviews they keep saying they just want to enjoy the experience and have fun and have relaxed skates. they arent robots programmed for gold. which is refreshing and part of why i like them so much. christ i never would have expected to be such a fan of figure skating of all things. tho my mom is too so maybe its genetic. ha. anything somewhat cheesy about me i can just blame on genetics. but that pearl jam love and touring love..thats all me.

did some cleaning today, and stopped in at aveda for some hair product and incredulously i spent TWENTY FIVE dollars on this stuff that better fucking do what i want it to do. im so dangerous with money in my wallet. im lucky i got out just with that. things in aveda smell good. i realized there that my hair is dry as shit...im pretty sure its because of the brand of dye that i chose. id used it before and was really not happy with the results. last time it was that the dye rinsed out way fast...i just went with it this time to get out of walmart quicker. never again. FERIA you SUCK. gonna have to do some extra conditioning or something.

the weather here has gone from wintery winter back to winter light. its the best, sunny and not terribly cold...much of the snow and ice melting...dry roads. no shoveling. no wet feet. no slipping and hurting ankles and backs. no car brushing off. i love you 2002.

i kind of want to wrap up this entry here. i know its lame, but i should get to lying down. tomorrow i have work, then i wanna come home and try to get a first draft of homework done before meeting aaron for coffee and discussion of homework. i kind of know what im going to write but want to see if i can get some creative twists in there, since i will be writing from the perspective of a dolphin.

the best:

finding money. ok that didnt happen today but...

the second best:

opening a bill to find that you have overpaid somehow and have a credit and so dont have to pay anything for the month. wooo!! my hydro bill was -12 dollars. gotta love it. meanwhile, i bet the phone company is hosting its regular scheduled 'lets cut the bitch off' party.

the third best:

gullible friends that you can mock endlessly when they openly admit they've been taken. like toby with tenacious d on craig kilborn the other night, thinking they actually played a song during that golf break. muahahhahahahahhahahahahaha. holy blond, toby. sheri been giving you lessons? =PPP hey sher, did you hear? giuliani was new york city's mayor. =)

the fourth best:

actually having sunday off. damn oscar and his damned birthday. *i* fucking worked the day after my birthday, why cant he? is it because he turned 22 and is probably currently hammered out of his skull and not playing bingo complacently? could be.

i had me a good chai latte today. any day containing a chai latte is a good day, and this was. the sunshine helped. i wanna see a movie. in the theater. there are many i wanna see:
orange county
charlotte gray
panic room
mothman prophecies
i am sam
a beautiful mind
gosford park
in the bedroom

im kind of ashamed at my lazy approach to yoga and the gym these days. im not participating in either. im starting to feel it and i should do something about it. but im in that crappy place where i know it and still dont do anything about it. like i know i wont bother with even sun salutes tonight. shame. hopefully i'll at least do those in the morning. if not, my back is gonna start hurting from the couch again. and thats just the tip of the ice-cream-berg.

i intended to rent flicks tonight but ran out of time. i am starting to see the appeal of a home library of movies. i should get ferris bueller and waking the dead and almost famous and a bazillion others. at least the cbc is showing the entire dave matthews olympics set so i can fall asleep to that.

ok im kinda stretching for topics at this point. tomorrow i think i will get to work early and scoff me some breakfast so i can get through the day without a headache and without getting all flaky toward the end. i hope they are kind and let me snake out earlyish. i bet they wont.

anyway, my wish for tomorrow is that the hours between 8:30 and 5 pm pass quicker than lightning.

bon soir mes ami(e)s. sorry for the lame entry. go read derrick's journal and see why he's awesome.

one love, the dream i see.