habit

its not even 8pm and im digging into the blog because i just want to lie down. why fight the tired? its not like i have anything better to do than sleep on a night such as this. and i just got out of a ninety minute bath (made totally fantastic by that drain cover thing that caryn sent me which is from heaven....NO slurping draining sounds, NO having to refill the tub every ten minutes...and water nearly up to the brim...awesome) where i lay almost sleeping and listening to ani live.

i washed my hair in the bath, and when i was rinsing the shampoo out i said something out loud quietly to myself...my ears were underwater but my face wasnt...and i could hear myself. it was so weird...so i blocked my ears with my hands and kept talking...and i could still hear myself...from the inside out. it was so cool freaky weird...i wonder if thats how some hearing impaired people hear...like everything is miles away. i think i might have to include the whole sensation in a story at some point...and i'll have to experiment with it some more.

i love being in the bath...but i also hate it. i get lots of ideas in there, and im good at just lying there letting things slip away...some of the time. other times (all during the same bath) i get too hot and have to stick my feet out or my legs over the edge. i think i need one of them bath pillow dealies. plus i get annoyed when my hands are wet and i want to read or flip the tape. but man does it feel good to kinda bob/float as much as one can in the bath.

work was alot less busy than it had been last saturday. i hope thats not a sign of things to come...i still made my c note and then some...and was able to be home by 4 30 instead of still there at 5 like last week...so this is good. hopefully tomorrow after work before the oscars me and anita will see i am sam. thats at 4 15. let it be.

my customer of the day was absolutely my like 3rd or 4th table. it was 3 generations of boys...the grampa, the dad and aidan, age 2.5. he was chatty and telling me how he is visiting tor-to (toronto) and how he was on calculator (cabriolet) up at mont tremblant. i asked him 'where are you going' and he said 'on the city bus' and his grampa laughed because he totally wasnt going on a bus, and aidan just looked at me, and looked and then said: the wheels onthebus go round and roun round and roun round and roun the wheels on the bus go round and roun all through the town. out of nowhere. how fucking TOTALLY FUCKING ADORABLE is that! i could have squished him. he was smiling when he finished, still looking me right in the eyes. i must have been grinning too, so then i burst into a duet with him:
steph: the wheels on the bus go...
aidan: round and round
steph: round and round
aidan: round and round
steph: the wheels on the bus go...
aidan: round and round
steph and aidan: all through the town

it was definitely the happiest point of my day. i demanded they come back to see me when they get back from toronto. he was just too fucking cute. i hopes they do.

kate survey time:
41. What shoes do you wear?: i wear my rocketdogs alot, no laces and they curl up at either end a bit, like an elf's. in summer its all about my birks. i also have burgundy converse and flip flops that get lots of wear. and nike sweet zone's in light blue at the gym.
42. What clothes do you sleep in?: i wear the pink paisley flannel pajamas in size enormous that anita and pam got me for my 30th extravaganza. they must think i am the size of an elephant. the slippers they got me could fit dennis rodman, i swear.
43. What kind car do you have?: only in my dreams.
44. Who is the last person who called you?: anita. or joel. anita or joel. or my dad. they are the last three...im not sure what order.
45. Where do you want to get married? hahahaha. i so cant picture being married right now that i couldnt even tell you. where? somewhere both my parents could be.
46. Who is the hottest guy/girl in your school?: this made me think of sloan INSTANTLY. anyway its obvious: nerdsexy.
47. If you could change anything about yourself what would that be?: i'd give myself an awesome singing voice. note: not good. awesome.
48. Who do u really hate?: bud selig. fuck him.
49. What are the ugliest names?: i cant think of anything. i know some evil matts though.
50. Favorite Color: orange.
51. Favorite number: two
52. Favourite Movie: just ONE? impossible. annie hall, waking the dead, ferris bueller's day off. i'll go with those for now.
53. Candy: white tic tacs and butterscotch life savers. or are they butterrum?
54. Pepsi or Coke: i like them both, but always diet. when i was with adam we drank TONS of coke. a coke and a cigarette...tasty combo.
55. TV show: i'm really into lots of shows for the first time after a long tv hiatus. survivor, popstars, amazing race, everybody loves raymond, friends, ER, boston public, third watch, judging amy, that 70s show...and now thanks to jess...the osbournes.

this morning there was The Smell. i think i mentioned it before...that smell of the beach at either atlantic city or myrtle beach that i have burned into my memory (my self) from when i was a little kid on a family vacation. it only happens early in the morning in montreal ever so rarely...and it was there in full this morning. that salty ocean quiet smell. maybe it was the salt in the streets and sidewalks...i dont know. but i loved it. it makes me think of salt water taffy. i just spelled water like this: watter, but luckily i caught it and corrected it. =)

sometimes up north you can get a really strong smell of camp in the mornings...but you need a country house for that...and unfortunately me and my friends do not have such a thing. durnit. one of us has got to strike it rich. haha thats what we need so badly. one of us to strike it rich. it doesnt even matter to me who. me, them whoever. just let it happen. maybe i oughta buy a lotto ticket.

i just daydreamed off on a tangent and cant remember it. at all. oh yeah. it had to do with how much i am spending on cabs to get to work every fucking day. its crazy. but there's no alternative.

my dream last night. it was a combo of wanting my final short story back and graded, and all the time im spending at work. i dreamed that my favorite manager, noda, was my teacher. he gave me back my story, and it had a big fucking C on it. i was so pissed. #1 we are buds #2 i am no C writer. so i flipped through it and he had made corrections on it, one of which was him crossing out the word WHICH, a line right through it, with the word WICH written on top of it, as though thats the proper spelling and WHICH is wrong. my subconscious, i tell ya. hee hee.

and with that, i bid you a fine evening. i am going to lie down and see what happens. maybe a super good sleep, thats what im a wishin for.

sorry if i updated before you had a chance to read yesterday's entry. but thats what muh damn archive is for anyway, junior. go check me out. i was even more boring then!

=)

--all the radios agree with all the tvs, and the magazines agree with all the radios...and i keep hearing that same damn song everywhere i go! maybe i should put a bucket over my head, and a marshmallow in each ear and stumble around for another dumb numb week waiting for another hum drum hit song to appear--

Blogger is damned down so im writing this in annoying word. I usually love word, but its annoying in this sense because it automatically capitalizes my 'I’s and the beginnings of sentences. Foiled again.

Its only 8 oclock and I caught myself falling asleep on the couch. Im not gonna fight it…im gonna write this out and lie down, even if it is before 10 when I do it. james, my manager, is trying to get me Monday AND Tuesday off…and if so that’s my big chance to get some balance back and catch up on sleep that I am still deprived of since anita’s birthday….on the 9th. It’s a wonder I didn’t get sick.

Work was work. Nothing exciting to report. At all. In and out, cash in pocket, boom boom boom. The best part was that I brought in some morning music. The I am sam soundtrack worked nicely, and the beatles ‘one’ was a major hit during lunch. Everyone just got in a good mood, customers and staff, and were singing along. I think at this point people are born knowing beatles songs innately. I wish I could make a big ol mix but you know that already since I said as much yesterday.

All winter it felt like spring, and now that its officially spring it feels like winter. It’s the new mother nature taking over. Who can recognize that quote, besides anita?

I watched the tape jess sent me…and I am a full fledged ‘the osbournes’ fan. I cant understand what the fuck they are saying half the time, but its great. The editing is messed up though…you can tell by keeping an eye on the daughter’s haircut. Picky picky me.

There’s all this oscar talk going on now and the only movies ive seen that are nominated in one way or another are bridget jones diary which renee zellwegger so does not deserve to win for, and ali, which will smith so does not deserve to win for. I have till Sunday to see moulin rouge (by the way, its mool-IN, not mool-awn for christs fucking sake), a beautiful mind, in the bedroom, gosford park, monsters ball and I am sam. Mission will not be accomplished.

Also on the tape jess sent was an episode of real world. I cant believe she had the nerve to compare this to the televised glory of survivor. Real world is just like 90210 or some shit, except 90210 never showed hot tub sex. Dirty.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Jess just forced me to go right over to derricks site for an unmentioned reason. I just laughed my arse off, you all need to click that link. That can was funny enough…let alone whats below it. HAHAHAHA. Ps—my garden’s rats and runts would kick the crap out of yours, d, so iiIii.

For the record those little egg things behind the can are totally adorable. Derrick, it’s a good thing for you I cant do shit with my computer, else your ass would grass. Punk. =P.

Time for kate’s survey continuation:

RELATIONSHIPS:
20. Do you have a boyfriend—negative.
21. If so what is their name—ethan.
22. Are you gay?: this question is.
FASHION STUFF:
23. Where do you shop the most: urban outfitters. I don’t remember the last time I bought clothing though.
24. Do you think your fashion is cool?: I like my style. Im not into fashion.
25. Do you have any piercings?: just my ears.
26. Do you have a tattoo?: negative
27. If not, what do you want pierced? --ethan
THE EXTRA STUFF:
28. Do you do drugs?: ‘do’. Hahahaha. Just say no! umm, I am an inactive pot smoker.
29. Do you drink: I hate being drunk, but I enjoy some drinks now and again. So that’s a yes.
30. Who are your friends? Rachel, ross, joey, chandler, phoebe and monica. Duh.

I ate that salty pizza tonight. I think I have to start ordering from a new place, I cant take it. but the guy told me next time I get 15 bux off my order. So one more time and then the switch. =)

Woo, blogger is back. Let me copy paste this shit and continue there.

ahh, no more fucking caps. joy joy happy.

so this one waiter who really gets on my nerves....he worked for this company years ago and was fired then. some people know this about him but not everyone. i dont know how or why he got the job again...its not like the owners to give second chances to shmucks. anyway, he is a whiny little bitch. i really dont enjoy him or working with him...he contributes zero positivity to my day and instead likes to tell me just what about me he finds annoying. meanwhile he is a total headshaker to work with. at least the other weirdos have good things about them. anyway...i kinda feel bad about something i did. i was in the office cashing out with officer james (my manager, who trained to be a cop, and looks hawaiian and who i like more and more every day even with his severe halitosis issues) and officer james was kind of venting about how rob was getting on his nerves. earlier in the day i observed this conversation...and it was awesome. james was making a list with someone about stuff we need from a hardware/everything type store. mr annoying was just hovering over his shoulder. the convo went like this:
james: ok so we need x, x, y, y and z.
annoying: yeah, and we should also get those little wedges to stick under the tables that wobble to keep them level.
[james looks over as though thinking and nods]
james: yeah, thats a really good idea.
[james puts his head down as though to write that on his list, and speaks one word for everything he writes]::
mouth
clamp
for
mr annoying.

ok it doesnt relay well on here, but trust me...it was awesome. anyway long story short i kind of let it slip about mr annoying's history with the company, and it turns out officer james didnt know about it. woopsie. i honestly thought he probably knew already...but wasnt sure. maybe officer james now has me filed as a rat. i dunno. he seemed interested (and kind of happy to know he wasnt judging mr annoying wrongly) and he promised that he would never repeat he had heard it from me, but i still feel kinda snivelly and backstabby. but whatever. he asked for it. and even without that info being passed (which eventually it would have been, since other managers know of his history) i still think he would have been the first one of this team out. now watch me get canned tomorrow or some shit.

christ am i thirsty.

the friday five sucks too badly to even bother with this week.
and with that, i believe i shall retire. no. some more of kate's survey. then retiring.

31. What kind of Shampoo and Conditioner do you use?: my usual shampoo is body shop brazil nut, but now im using hydrating shampoo from yves rocher that smells so amazing...i might never go back. but its $$. i use body shop brazil nut intense conditioner stuff that you're only sposed to use once a week. my hair is dry as shit.
32. What sport(s) do you play?: i WATCH alot of baseball. i would throw the ball around if i had someone to do it with...and would play football too. ice skating?
33. What are you most scared of?: there's always something. lately its house fires.
34. If you could go anywhere, where would it be?: if i could just nod and BE somewhere else...i think it would be australia or hawaii...or maybe just vancouver to see my mom.
35. How often do you cut your toenails?: soooo rarely. i just pick at em.
36. What are you listening to right now?: a centrum commercial from the other room, and me bouncing my heels against the floor impatiently....and my keyboard.
37. Who are you talking to right now?: you.
38. What time is it?: 8:56 pm.
39. Do you have your own phone line?: hahhahhaha, what am i? 13? i have my own everything. except car.
40. What's the last four digits of your phone number?: the cool number: 4020. double 2010! pearl jam content. woo!

ok. thats it.

--2010 watch it go to fire--
(eek, that one combines too of my answers from that last little series)
nighty poo.

before i begin some comments on other people's journals:

kate: you are the picasso of our generation. if only there were a parrot. toby i am surprised you were surprised. i think alot of the readers here check out your..ship.
alex: stagger lee = grateful dead cover too! i know i told you this earlier, but im still all happy about it.
personal to sheri: put a damn email link on your damn journal page. damn it.
caryn: what you said about the vh1 coverage derrick summed up perfectly:
vh1: cutting more than lorena bobbitt. hahaha!
caryn2: i guess you were jealous of my hot rod from bridge school, that candy apple red pick up truck...so you HAD to outdo me with a stang. you may have won this round, sister...now i'm gonna have to do shows in a lambroghini. or better yet, a lipstick red winnebago! you can tell joel that as a vegetarian i drool me puddles over the chopped liver at all holiday dinners, especially when those greasy grisly onions are on top. mmmm on tam tam crackers....that is the good shit. at this very second i couldnt be more full, yet i am salivating over the mere thought of chopped liver in all its glory. thats kind of twisted, aint it.

speaking of derrick, he's doing all this talk about having a garden...makes me think if i should proposition the guys on the ground floor about their lawn space. they have a huge front lawn that is gated in...and i can guarantee they will have zero plans for it. hey anita....maybe we could do it as a project together. might be alot of work...but it might be super cool all the same. they owe me for the wine opener scandal...get back to me.

i invented a word earlier: boogley. when i got home from work (3:15 pm--gettin earlier all the time) i ate the rest of my eggplant/tofu parmesan and TWO chocolate bars. yes, two. i had a mystery package to pick up at the post office, and it wound up being this big ass box from alex. i shlepped it home (having to pee so badly the whole time...me leaving work having to pee and not going and then almost peeing in my pants as i put the key in my door is becoming a most ridiculous pattern/habit) and ripped it open to find a strange survivor book that says 'based on the tv show' on the cover but inside has actual survival guides including how to put a sleeper hold on someone, a 'writing without the muse' book with a writing exercise on every page (awesome!) and this massive writer's guide with contact info on every potential paying publisher and tips on editing and submissions and crazy shit. amazing. my delayed birthday present and xmas present. rock!

but the chocolate. lifetimes ago me and alex had us a little wager on this little event we call the world series. alex had his bank on the yanks, while my faith in the expo randy johnson and those other guys never faultered. so we wagered a whatchamacallit. needless to say, I WON....and alex sent me FIVE!!! so i ate two.

and then i fell asleep from about 4 15 to 6 30 pm. im not much of a napper because its rare that i wake up refreshed. i usually wake up sweaty (check) with a nasty taste in my mouth (check) and all groggy and wanting to sleep more (check) with my hair sticking to the back of my neck (check). since i ate right before i fell asleep...my stomach was all wonked up. toss in the grogginess...i felt weird. and thats when i came up with the word....just like this actually, in a convo with joe:

Joe: im in the midst of writing you an email
oshuns2: hi
oshuns2: cool
oshuns2: im in the midst of being all fucked up because of a 3 hour nap
oshuns2: my stomach is all boogley

and there is no better word for how it felt. BOOGLEY! now i cant wait to see which of my credit hog pals attempts to claim they used it first. it'll happen. =P

i lay down under the covers for the nap and put on the jon stewart snl that jess sent me that started pretty damn funnily. mac came and lay down on my chest and was purring. i closed my eyes and heard a snore sound and opened them...i didnt know if it came from me or him, and it was like that 'im not gonna sleep im gonna watch this' kind of reaction. ever do that? then i did that again, the snoring sound. it didnt happen a third time. i was out cold. hopefully it wont make falling asleep tonight hard.

so me and anita didnt make it to i am sam today. she has school hell to deal with and was super tired but im sure we will get it together before they remove it from the theater. i kind of also want to see a beautiful mind before the oscars on sunday...but i dont like my chances.

work was decent. waking up to be there for 5 30 as opposed to 6 makes a surprisingly huge difference. its funny, i was given a perspective reminder again today. i went down the stairs to my cab feeling tired and hurried. it was dark and the stairs were slippery and slushy and i was less than thrilled. it wasnt cold though. i got in the cab and told him where i was going and he said with total enthusiasm 'isnt it a beautiful day?'. he might have been up for hours, and because he is used to that schedule i guess his day can involve dark skies. and i was like...yeah, it kind of is. its not cold, its the first day of spring, and at that moment he and i had the entire street and city pretty much to ourselves. so we pulled over and got out and waltzed around the car. ok that last part is proof that i took creative writing classes. hahah and that i should get a D.

the day was decent. breakfast of the day was french toast with cantaloup, mango, papaya (not ripe enough), banana, blueberry (yum) and strawberry. i meant for it to be with raisin bread, but i ordered it wrong. oh well.

the customer of the day...let me think about it. hmmm. there wasn't really anyone all too special today, but everyone was nice. i like the mindset of the clientele we are getting. they arent kvetches like at the mall. they want to be happy, not swim in misery and spread it like a virus. its good stuff. and now we were told we can bring in tunes. youd be surprised how difficult it is to find music appropriate for like 6 to 8 AM. right now all we have is tears for fears 'the hurting' which works, and barry white, which doesnt. im sorry, at 7 AM i dont need to think about barry running his tongue all over my beautiful body or whatever the fuck he says in track two. so tomorrow im gonna bring in moondance (van the man) and cat stevens and someone i work with is gonna burn em for the restaurant. excellent. maybe i'll ask him to do an ani-non-swearing-disc too. any suggestions for other good crack-o-dawn tunes? besides what i already mentioned i came up with:
peter gabriel
sting
paul simon
tracy chapman

if i had a burner i would cook up something sweet. oh well. i dont and thats that. =)

me and elmo need a foot masseuse. my feet ache so badly--its never been like this before. maybe i should invest in black running shoes....*gag*. fuck do i hate them though. i dont know if its the shoes i wear or the fact that im on my feet and running for hours and hours and hours every damn day. a convo, if you will:

elmo: oh god.
elmo: fucking kill me.
oshuns2: ?
elmo: please.
oshuns2: why?
oshuns2: ha
elmo: so that i may sleep
elmo: dear christ
elmo: 15.5 hours of work today
elmo: no break.
oshuns2: yikes
oshuns2: i can relate
oshuns2: and that sucks
elmo: im in mad pain.
oshuns2: your feet?
elmo: and im going to work tomorrow at 5am.
elmo: yeah
elmo: and my mellon
oshuns2: i would kill for a foot massage these days
oshuns2: theyve never ached before like they do now
elmo: id take it up the butt for a foot massage right now.
elmo: you can quote me on that
oshuns2: haaha
oshuns2: k
elmo: and kill me.
elmo: oh yeah
elmo: you have voicemail.
oshuns2: ps--you would take it up the butt for a half bowl of fruit loops

he said i could quote him. =)

i ordered dinner from a new place, it was pretty tasty too. had a salad and tofuburger and fries with vinegar and ketchup...after ordering i jumped in the shower so i could be out before the food got here. its all about using my time well. crazy. today i wore my hair all flippy and fraggle rock-y, so tonight i dried it all flat and straight and i kinda like it now that its grown in. its a pretty versatile cut. two months later and i finally like it alot better. but enough about that, right? right.

kate sent me this mega survey and she wants it answered. its got 100 questions. i think i'll do ten a day for ten days in here, because i cant see having the energy to do it all at once. how's that, miss kate?

1. First Name: stephanie
2. Middle Name: lynn
3. Last Name: those of you who know it know it. those of you who don't don't need to. =)
4. NICKnames: haha! my last name, shlepson, shteb, heff, annie, stephers. coil has a few i wont repeat here. =)
5. City: amazing montreal
7. Guy or Gal: i is gal.
8. Zodiac Sign: aquarius
9. Siblings: phil
11. Pet(s): mac, eevee, turtledude
12. Hair Color: dark brown - black with grey workin its way in there
13. Eye Color: dark brown - black
14. Height: 5"5 and a half. its a big half.
15. What hand do you write with?: write with the right
16. Hair Length: front pieces on either side at my chin, everything else shorter and varying kinda.
17. Do you bite your nails? nope.
18. Do you think you are cute?: does a bear shit in the woods? (yes, a bear shits in the woods). more than cute...im *sassy*. =P
19. Shoe Size: its changed! my feet shrank. used to be 10. now it can range down to 8.5. how weird is that.

ok thats more than ten but those were no brainers.

and i think with that, i am done. me and my horrible gas are going to retire to the couch and watch the second half of the repeat of ER and hopefully pass out...maybe the gas will force me out.

news you didnt need to know, im gonna guess. hey YOU fall asleep with a full belly and then wake up. this is my digestive system, and this is what happens. get used to it. be glad computers arent scratch and sniff. yet.

weird google search of the day: 'tribute to jfk helen steiner rice'
thats hilarious because i can see how that would lead someone here.
ive talked about tenacious d's song tribute.
ive talked about pearl jam's song brain of j (or jfk)
ive talked about my friend who i sometimes refer to as steiner.

anyway. good night irene.

--'turn the jukebox up' he said--

oops. also 'untouchable face' by ani difranco. you'll see what im talkin bout when you finish.

--so fuck you and your untouchable face and fuck you for existing in the first place and who am i, that i should be vying for your touch and who am i, i bet you cant even tell me that much--

i have to be at work at 5 30 in the morning. because of that, this will be short. also, i cant talk about survivor until anita sees it tomorrow...so thats a whole chunk of fun cut out. as always its the good stuff. and since it returns to thursday next week we have to wait EIGHT days for it this time. boo.

vh1 cut 99.9 percent of ed's speech out of their broadcast of the hall of fame broadcast. gee, what a shocker...not. but if justin timberlake had approached the mic and flossed his teeth for 15 minutes i bet they would have had the whole thing, including a mouth cam. vh1 i mean.

speaking of justin timberlake while i waited for survivor i caught the tail end of entertainment tonight. what the fuck. they were talking about whether or not the couple has broken up, showing britney saying 'no we havent, we love each other' with this strange look in her eye. this is it folks. if he did in fact break up with her and she is saying he didnt...well thats stage one of fucked up spited woman syndrome. she's gonna boil his bunny. she's gonna cut her hair off and dye it black and go goth. i dont wish a breakdown or breakup on anyone, but in this case it could be kind of entertaining.

not to mention entertainment tonight had a quote from the couple's spokesperson. i was listening to it and then was like WHATTHEFUCK??? they have a COUPLE SPOKESPERSON? what the hell is that? justin and britney, true love sponsored by burger king. jesus christ. you really gotta wonder how far removed from reality these 'people' are when you hear words like 'couple spokesperson'.

enough about that. i have jon stewart hosting snl to watch thanks to miss jess.

i will do this wee survey from katie's site (yet another pirate basher, i love it) and then i will call it a night.

if you could build your house anywhere, where would it be?
fuck how exciting! i have a house! where would it be? i'd be happy keeping one in montreal, and i wouldnt necessarily want to build it. we have an area called westmount where i have seen some incredible and gorgeous homes....that are old old old. sometimes me and anita just aimlessly cruise around that neighborhood drooling over the homes and the lawns. i'd also want a country house...not a city house in the country either. a real small cozy place with lots of land.

what is your favourite article of clothing?
in all honesty its probably the lollapalooza 92 bootleg shirt that me, anita and cari all got. it was purple and grey tie dye but thats all faded out, so now its just the words (which do include pearl jam of course). its softer than soft and its the greatest memento i have of one of the greatest days ever.

what's your favourite physical feature of the opposite sex
lately its the back...its so sexy to touch a guy's back and feel that valley running down the middle. rowr.

what's the last cd you bought the distillers - sing sing death house
new--i think the beatles 'one'
used--i think ben folds five...rare tracks and singles and stuff.

where's your favourite place to be
turns out not where but who you're with that really matters.

where's your least favourite place to be
anywhere sadness is prevailing. or an airplane in flight.

what's your favourite place to be massaged?
im more of a scratch me/tickle me kind of person. i LOVE the scalp massage when i go for a haircut, during the wash though. i'm going with that. the first time i ever had it done i was in heaven. when it finished i told the girl who did it 'i think i love you'. i think i scared her. =)

what's most important, strong in mind or strong in body
umm....neither are really important. strong minded people can be close minded and stubborn. strong bodied people can be shallow or arrogant.

what time do you wake in the morning
fuck, dude, with my new life....4 fucking 30- 5 AM. brew-tal.

what's your favourite tv show
didnt i just list these the other night? popstars, survivor, everybody loves raymond, that 70s show, judging amy, friends, ER. i guess they wanted one. survivor.

what's your favourite kitchen appliance
electric frying pan.

what's your favourite childhood memory
i have so many i couldnt possibly pick one. pine valley camp. vacations with my family. the country house. NO. i take it all back. its charlie. charlie. i remember the day we got him as well as i can the day he died. i remember the games he and i used to play...first me chasing him with that stupid bone in his mouth, then him chasing me as i ran and hid in mom or dad's closet. how he would go bananas after a bath or being in the lake and race around. crazy mutt. god i loved that dog. i still do. i have tears in my eyes.

what makes you laugh
soooo much stuff. my friends, myself, my cats, good sarcasm....i love the funny. top three things in the last month?
-coil
-tenacious d
-ice skating

what makes you really angry
being lied to. not being heard. agression. acts of hate.

if you could play any instrument, what would it be
dude i would go mohawk too right now and forever if i would wake up with a good singing voice. but since thats not the question...congas. bongos. percussion.

favourite restaurant/cafe/eatery
in the world?! umm...ha it'll take me longer to answer this one than any other. how do i narrow it down to one? i love the sushi place sapporo on prince arthur street, i love mikado....i love mondo frits and santropol...and harvey's.

scariest moment of your life
top four:
--hearing the words 'its not kidney stones. your father is in emergency surgery.' 'the next 72 hours are as critical as the last 8.' 'your father is having a heart attack right now'. october 2000.
--waking up to the crazy strong smell of smoke and sound of sirens at 4 in the morning from a dead sleep.
--being on an airplane on the way to san francisco that was making the most psycho loud noise and all these dips and turns and hearing that we had to turn back to the departure city to do an emergency landing. total fetal position action.
--finding out everything in my life was going to change because my parents were going to be divorced.

gee that was a fun one.

do you believe in afterlife
i dont know that id use that word for what i believe...but i dont believe that the spirit within us dies. i believe our life energy is released and continues to live on. christ, i sound like im swami stephanie.

favourite childrens' book
as a child: beverly cleary and judy blume EVERYTHING. harriet the spy.
now: robert munsch, shel silverstein, dr seuss and where the wild things are. go max!

what is your favourite season
late summer early fall.

what is your least favourite household chore
no surprise to anyone who knows me: doing the freaking dishes.

if you could have one superpower, what would it be
my nature is to be the rescuer. i want to save everyone and everything. it would be the ability to actually be able to.

if you have a tattoo, what is it
they're all on the inside.

who was your first love and at what age
first love? me papa.

the song you wished you had written
id be here all night if i tried to answer this one perfectly. maybe 'round here' by the counting crows or 'change' by blind melon. maybe 'long road' by pearl jam.

do you prefer dogs or cats
raisins.

what is your favourite day
always have had a thing for thursdays. on the end side of the week, the weekend anticipation around the bend...its just a good thing.

as is my pillow. gnighty y'all. play along.

--round here we talk just like lions, but we sacrifice like lambs--
--but I know we all can't stay here forever so I want to write my words on the face of today--
--all the memories going round, round, round--

i just ran to anita's and picked up the survivor videotape. it is now burning a hole on my dresser over there so this will be brief.

on the way back, after popstars, i was sure i smelled smoke. my obsession with fire and the certainty that there will be one is really getting out of hand. true confessions would have to include that i have considered moving out of my awesome fucking place in my favorite part of the city because of it. its near phobia level. i stopped in my tracks when i smelled smoke and scanned the block for smoke. nothing. maybe if i got insurance i would feel better. i dont know.

i finally baked the tofu/eggplant parmesan. its sitting in the oven right now. i munched on pieces of tofu while i was making it and so am totally not hungry.

at work today there was a camera crew...we are gonna be on tv on friday night on this stupid little ten minute 'show' that spotlights things in montreal. they filmed me carrying two apple cinnamon crepes to a table. if there is any fairness in the universe that WILL NOT AIR.

as for being seen on a screen...go check out some pics from anita's birthday extravaganza that sue put up today.

the best part about work today was that i managed to get out before 4. 3:38 to be exact. i seem to recall that at the mall the people who opened were done at TWO, not THREE. am definitely going to inquire about that. my feet are killing. and i still have to iron my shrits. im thinking....:fuck the fucking ironing. no day off in sight. they'll have to understand.

the snow is melting. its weird to have more snow than we had in february on the ground now with such warm temperatures. holy fucked up weather batman.

popstars was disappointing tonight. too much focus on guest visitors, not nearly enough justin or singing or dancing. lamenhausen.

after work i went to zellers to pick up light bulbs and i had to pee so bad i nearly lost control in the hardware section. its a good thing too, because if i was at ease i bet i would have wandered the aisles and bought a bunch of crap i dont need, when that money could go somewhere far more useful...like paying back loans, april rent or insurance. or bills. oh the fun never ends.

my first table today was two guys who told me they were just getting back from the casino. they had gone out monday night, drinks, dinner...and at about 3 headed over there and played slots and cards...and then decided to have breakfast before sleep. i sooo could relate to that cycle...that is totally how me and kelcey were living when we worked together. finish work, head out...the casino being one of the few all hour things. and good red juice. and that fresh phony casino air. and then we'd go to chenoys (budget eats deli style, open 24 hours. pronounced 'shuNOISE' but i call it 'chez-nwaz' to make it fancy. im a lyrical gangster.

i served them before i had coffee and was totally no personality girl. i apologized for it saying exactly that, and one of them said 'no, dont worry, for this time of day (SIX IN THE MORNING) you're perfect".

guys: you can never fail by ending any sentence spoken to a woman with the words 'you're perfect'. i almost bought his breakfast for him.

almost.

can you believe march is closer to the end than the start? i didnt even acknowledge the ides of march this year. time is FLYING. and i need a man. and by need i mean really want.

and with that uplifting joyous thought, i am going to survivorland.

woo!

go look at the pics. keep in mind that first shot of anita is post alcohol consumption. tho one look in those eyes could probably tell you that. you can kinda see my shorty hair.


breakfast of the day:
half grapefruit (very poorly sectioned and less enjoyable as a result. nothings ever as good as the first time)
strawberry french toast (brown bread, egg whites).
remarkably similar to yesterday. booo-ring. im running out of ideas.

coil you lazy shit, update your fucking blog. you still gave me the laugh of the day though.

ive been missing my mom lately. i keep meaning to call her and not following through. i wish she'd call me. tomorrow. between survivor and amazing race.

oh. and mr vedder inducted the ramones into the rock hall of fame. check it out, yo. fucking hell that man heats the blood.

anyway, marquesas is calling. have a good night/wednesday.

im sure as soon as i end this i'll think of ten things i wanted to say. or maybe not. whatever.

be quiet stephanie. ok stephanie.

--and i think to myself, what a wonderful world--

to get out of tired work brain mode im gonna nab some questions from jess. she called it 'eight from the 80's'.

1. Can you drive 55?
im not really sure what this means, and if its from a song i sure don't know it. not only can i drive 55, i can parallel park like a champeen. if it were olympic i'd be women's gold. its so satisfying wedging a huge lesabre into a spot for a civic two door. ooh! apparently this entry is brought to you by honda and buick.

2. Do you blister in the sun?
i use sunscreen, but there have been many times i didnt. in acapulco one year i burned so badly i blistered, right below the middle part of my bikini top. it was fucking nasty. i'm not a big fan of burns, unless they are on neil young's cheeks. ps--the violent femmes self titled album is probably one of my favorites of all time. and i dont even own it.

3. Are you pretty in pink?
ah, the molly ringwald/andrew mccarthy years. i do love pink, and have been quite taken with it after i read this thing years ago that suggested there was proof that when you wear pink people treat you nicer. i've tried time and again to test this theory but i always forget mid experiment. ever since i read that though i have incorporated more pink into my wardrobe, whereas before that it was totally uninvited. so im ending this with an alanis quote. me and anita used to call her all-anus. so there.

4. Who's your obsession?
god i loved this song. who is my obsession? me, duh, i am the subject of this blog and i live with me and am stuck with me 24/7. my cats too. i spent more than 40 dollars on them today, since i felt so guilty about running out of food for them, which i did this morning. i only had cottage cheese to give them. so i stopped in a pet store on the way home and also picked up treats, catnip spray and a new scratchboard for them. while i was in the store the coolest part of my day occurred...they had this medium-small grey bird sitting on this silver stand by the cash. the guy told me it was a baby and i asked if it would bite me if i tried to pet it. it was the kind with a black beak and a hard looking black tongue....biting is up there with burns. anyway...when i kind of raised my hand a bit, it bowed its head...and i pet it. it was awesome. it let me pet it a whole bunch. what a sweetie.

but fuck do i hate pet stores. i can feel my heart breaking in there and i try not to look at anything too long. but the bird wasnt caged.

5. Were you born in a small town?
wasnt it just the other day i was mentioning the coug in here? at camp we had a song to the tune of this one...and im only remembering the chorus:
aw, but aint that pine valley camp, for you and me
aint that pine valley camp, something to see baby
aint that pine valley camp, it aint free, yeah
little green houses for bob and lee.
oh memory lane, how bittersweet you are. anyway, no. i was born in vancouver. that aint small. fuck now im jonesing to hear some jcm. too bad his greatest hits tour last year was like ten thousand dollars a ticket. i totally woulda dug going.

6. Do you love rock-n-roll?
hell yes, as joan says, put another loonie in the jukebox baby. this one is another pine valley flashback song. me and a certain robert beer would get down to this one...dancing, you perverts, we were like ten.

7. Dear God, I hope you get this letter and, I pray... that i never hear this damned song again. ever.

8. You just got paid. It's Friday night. What are you going to do?
why of course im gonna 'party hearty'. i believe thats how the song went. and these days chances are id go to sleep.

well that was fun. thanks jesster.

soooo. my first tables are my favorites of the day. its still quiet and im all awake and i can give them good attention and chat and such. my second table was a family, parents younger than yours truly and a fat faced baby boy still in his one piece footed jammies with trains on them. he was fucking adorable and i swear i am drawn to them like magnets. i even tell the parents when i get to the table that its uncontrollable and that they can leave the baby as a tip. its the best when the babies respond, and this one was all smiles and cutesy wutesy. its hard tho when they are french because im scared im going to say something the wrong way and corrupt the education, but whatever. i am so digressing.

so im chatting it up with the 5 month old and the parents must have been like 'PSY-CHO' and the dad started saying something to me...they seemed...stressed? i dont know...they were smiling but it wasnt the most easy air. anyway, the dad was talking french really fast and it was too early but i did catch the word 'hopital'...hospital. talk about heart break. very very closeby is the montreal children's hospital and its just so fucking wrong that children should have to...anyway. i know you know and its too sad to dwell on. i didnt know what to do or what to say...i didnt want to ask questions...i just wanted to undo whatever it was thats been done. someone suggested maybe it was just a doctor's appointment. i hope so. the kid had such a big wide head and a squishy smile....too sweet. he ties with the bird actually.

it was pretty quiet all throughout the shift actually...likely because of the constant snowstorm that started at about what...ten this morning? thats 12 hours of snowing...more snow fell today than in all of february combined i would say. but its weird. its not at all cold...its like...too late, winter. this is a lame last attempt. we aren't scared. spring is so close we can taste it. its actually all fluffy and clean looking. i just cant believe how its totally not stopping.

so i've got mega questionable feelings about the guy who's supposed to be our manager. he is NEVER at work, and when he is he:
1. never knows the answers/solutions to any questions/problems...and there are LOTS of those. its totally disorganized.
2. misses the prime parts of the shift and shows up when its quiet. ive yet to see him take drinks or food to a table. he doesnt know what the plates are supposed to look like. he is like staying at the periphery instead of diving in. this does not bode well. im kind of hoping the top dudes will pick up on this and can him and make any one of the managers i love from other stores our boss. like johnny or noda.
3. has super turbo chronic halitosis of the most voracious appalling kind. fuck is his breath stank nasty.
4. decides it would be a good idea to take a day off A DAY OFF in the midst of all his not knowing what the fuck is up. meanwhile the schedule came out today for the week, today thru sunday, and i dont have one day off. 6-3 every day. except thursday. then its 5:30 to 3. hot damn.

not to mention he cant make a fucking simple decision without taking twenty minutes to pussyfoot around. jesus h christ. i get the feeling he's never worked in a restaurant before. it does not bode well at all. i should introduce kelcey to all of them. he could run that place in a heartbeat.

anyway. the plan was to come home and make that eggplant/tofu parmesan. too bad i stayed at work to help do all this shit that the manager should have had done before we opened, but whatever. just cleaning duties and what we need and where things should go. so that delayed me and i didnt get here till 6. and then i spoke to anita and she said these words:
general
tao
tofu
and it was over. fuck washing, slicing, breading, frying, layering and baking. instead i dialed. and i was only able to eat a fraction of what i normally can pack in. strange. and fucking tasty too.

speaking of which: the free breakfast of the day was:
half a grapefruit---this was more pleasurable than anything ive eaten in ages. they section it before serving it so it just spoons out, tho i still managed to squirt myself near the eye area all the same. some sugar and fuck was it good. cold and sweet and juicy and sour. perfect. followed by:
two pieces of brown bread french toast (egg whites only) topped with banana. ever so much ass was kicked.

tomorrow steve from the mall will be working with us. this makes me very happy. i cant wait to see him. and to hear him bitch about all the messed up disorganized stuff. and if its dead cuz of weather then we can just shoot the shit. and thats good too.

the guy that i open with who i thought was super cool cuz his birthday is the same day as j's...well...he's showing some REALLY strange sides. he says stupid shit that really gets to me sometimes....and it just doesnt fit who he seems to be the rest of the time...but still...there it is. the jury is very much out, to quote my good friend E L M O.

had the distinct pleasure of talking to bowman who just got home from the road. the road is fucking long. the road is fucking tough. its-a rough-a stuff.

and now i must retire to my couch to rest my weary head. altho, its not my head thats weary its the bottom of the heel part of my feet. like, it feels raw almost. tingles when it touches the floor. not good. especially with no day off in sight. speaking of weary:

the singing on boston public. someone make it go the fuck away. not the most important thing in the grand scheme of the world, but jesus christ david kelley...isnt it enough ally mcsleeze was ruined with it all?

my current favorite shows:
everybody loves raymond.
survivor.
popstars.
the amazing race.
friends.

my current most needed activity:
shuteye. last night i was talking to alex and i completely fell asleep on him. i suck.

have a great two two tuesday.

(anybody else have su-su-sussudio spring to mind after that?)
i just yawned hugely. hot air. like toby's post anthony russo twin discovery threats.

gnighty y'all.

--like a bird on a wire, like a drunk in a midnight choir, i have tried in my way to be free--

saturday = ten hour shift at work.
sunday = eleven hour shift at work.

good money. tons of work crap, but at this rate work is taking up so much of my life i dont really feel like talking about it here and i think by not doing so i am doing you a favor. im sorry about not updating...it hurts me more than it hurts you...but last night there was just no fucking way. i was totally pooped, and i wanted to watch the matthew shepherd movie on tv, which i did. i fell asleep the second it ended, and got the best sleep ive had in a long time, a solid 5.75 hours. =/.

the cycle of waking up is getting easier already though. its starting to get lighter earlier, and with the big weekend dollars (today i was there from open till close, just retarded) taking a cab in the AM is totally guilt free and doable.

tonight after work me and three others went up to jillian's and had some drinks. i had one a half coronas and its still official: i am the world's cheapest date. then again, i hadnt eaten since 6 15 and it was more than 12 hours later. fucking crazy. it was fun with them too, just blabbing and getting to know each other a bit outside of that place, where we are all kind of strong minded and defensive. this was silly and fun, and i liked them all better outside the work environment, which should make that more chill.

one table today (so much for not talking about work) kept cracking up at my silly crap, and one of them told me 'you should be on a stage'. HA. they obviously have never seen what happens to me when a video camera is turned on me at a wedding or some such thing. total freeze-ation. i just like the peoples.

i LOVE the clientele. NO FUCKING BABIES!!!!!!!! wooooooooooo!
actually yesterday there were two babies, and since there were only two i could appreciate them and play with them and have fun with them. because they were cool downtown babies, not gross mall crackbabies.

it feels really good to have money again. too bad im too tired to do anything with it. gotta buy jeans for work tho. thats a must. and do some paying back.

so yeah. my feet actually hurt. 11 hours with no break is a bitch, and when you first sit down after not staying still for more than like 45 seconds to take an order or punch an order in...man, you really feel it. you cant get up. your legs are just stone. if i hadnt gone out after work i probably would have come home and taken a bath.

for the millionth time in the last little while i need a team of maids to do their thing in here. my shit is messed up, yo. and there is no day off in sight. i'm psyched tho because steve from the mall is coming to work with me on tuesday. woo! AND i think one day this week i will see i am sam after work (sorry anita, but it calls to me, it calls). and try to start going to the gym after my shift too.

but most imperative is getting the survivor videotape from miss sue. please, dont leave me out to dry sue. hook a sista up. not only will i give you a woot, woot, but i will toss in a whut whut for free.

the swollen glands are officially a thing of the past.

tomorrow im gonna have a half grapefruit with my breakfast. its been fucking ages since i have, and i didnt even know it was on the menu. in five months of working for this company nobody has ever ordered one. today, i sold three. there are always patterns like that. like i will go a week with nobody getting the french toast bagel with banana and strawberry, and then a day will come where i sell like 17. whats the word for that?

i know people cooler than people you know. check out this invitation:

>Mesdames et messieurs, compatriotes, amigos...
>
>You are cordially invited to the 10th annual no-electricity party.
>
>It will be held at M and R's house on Saturday, March
>30th - Easter Saturday. We`ll turn off the lights when it gets dark
>- actually, we just won't turn them on at all, so come early or come
>late, just come! If you have never been, it is a party you can`t afford to miss if you are jonesing for goodness in your life.
>
>As always, you need to bring:
>-candles
>-music instruments or your voice (or just your presence will do)
>-friends

we (i) didnt go last year. maybe this year we (i) will. but how fucking cool is that? what a great idea. 'i knelt and empty the mouths of every plug around'. and they really are amazing people. she is this little bjork like elfy fairy girl...magic....and he is this laughing gentle mellow outdoorsy biking mountain dude...and they are just really open open open and positive and real. special like.

its possible my cats are pissed at me. neither of them are in here annoying me right now. i fed them cheetos earlier to buy their love. they went for it. why am i surprised? there's a cat on the bag. which reminds me, the fucking chester cheese cheetos commercials are by far the gayest most lame pathetic stupid things i have ever seen. that blind date scenario? where they use the word CHEESY as if it means something is cool instead of the exact opposite? gimme a large break. and the idiot girls with the fake giggle track? its infuriating and without question the first ad i would get erased from my memory if only i could. i wish you knew what i was talking about.

over drinks earlier i asked the peeps i was with: if you knew your life would end tomorrow and you could only see one band tonight, but any band, who would it be? alynn said david bowie. rob said prince. sebastian said...what did he say? genesis? gee, i wonder what i said. although i have to say, as soon as i said pearl jam the words GRATEFUL DEAD popped into my head too. i miss being at their shows so much. that fucking amazing feeling i would get dancing...i only have felt it once since jerry died, at a neil young concert. i cant even describe it. its been too long. so i dont honestly know that i would definitely absolutely pick pearl jam. tho i'd probably bet that i would.

i cant believe this stuff is of interest to anyone that isnt me.

then again, maybe i shouldnt assume stuff. =)

ok i wanted to be on couch at 10 and alex just reminded me that i am late. so i am gonna cut it short, so go complain to him if you dont think i wrote enough. truth is its all fucking work stuff anyway and its taken over me enough as it is. i dont need to bring it all back when i get home, yknow? im happy, its more good than bad, its fun and its a success thus far. cant ask for much more than that for right now. it'll balance out and i'll get routine back and it wont be the megacenter of my life. i look forward to it. you likely do too, faithful reader. sorry. =)

anyway, im takin my weary ass to the couch. i swear that right now the bottoms of my feet are just absolutely aching. breakfast today: mushroom, cheddar and shallot egg white omelette with brown toast and fresh fruits: honeydew, cantaloupe, strawberry.

have a good monday. dont say anything to me that has the word 'eggs' in it, and that includes excellent, extraordinary, and dont even get me started thinking about easter.

gnighty.

--its a marvelous night for a moondance--