habit

hopelai. i forgot the friday five.

1. What's your favorite piece of clothing that you currently own?

hmmm. probably my denim capris from le chateau. i lived in them all summer. i also got a sleeveless tshirt there, is grey in the back but the front looks like its made of a variety of ripped tshirts, 4 of em, mostly athletic in nature. i dig it. but i also dig my two montrealite t's. and my granny dress that's white with a floral pattern on it and does up around the neck. those have had the most wear.

apart from that i have a dress that belonged to my grandmother that she wore to weddings, and which now, i do. its beautiful...a turquoise green color in this thick shiny fabric, with all this beading on the chest area. its a very special dress. its real quality and i think it stands out....they dont make em like that anymore.

2. What piece of clothing do you most want to acquire?

argh. when i was in vancouver after bridge i saw this dress with a cowgirl print on it. it was cream and had cacti, cowgirls, horses in a pattern all over it. it was awesome, but i was tired when i saw it so couldnt be bothered to try it on or get it. ive regretted it ever since. even contacted the designers. no more exist for sale. mofo. if you love something when you see it, buy it. buy it buy it buy it. i still wish i had it. and its been almost two years.

3. What piece of clothing can you not bring yourself to get rid of? Why?

i cant see myself ever wearing tie dye again, but there's no way i can get rid of my grateful dead tshirts. its just not possible.

4. What piece of clothing do you look your best in?

ummm. maybe my black semi low rise cords with that black criss cross shirt....anita photographed me wearing that and i like how i look in the picture. i like how my bubby's dress fits me too. custom made for my genetics. =)

5. What has been your biggest fashion accident?

baby blue eyeliner and frosted pink lipstick. hey man, dont blame me. the 80s actually happened.

=)

well, me house had quite the going over today.

before i get into that, i have to out myself and share with all of you the way i am typing. all flat handed so that my nails wont touch the keyboard. i done painted my fingernails. very very unlike me. as a waitress its a general no no, but more than that its because when i wear nail polish it makes my fingernails feel trapped. like they cant breathe. it feels like im wearing socks on my fingertips or something and it can get rather uncomfy, so i dont usually bother. but i was putting a new coat of the beigey-with-a-hint-of-pink on my toes and i had filed my nails down earlier in the week and im off all weekend so i figured why not. and now im typing like a freakin princess. hehehe, nail polish is so annoying.

hehehe is the new hahahaha. hahahaha is soooooo last month.

so my house. holy tidying up. i am such a good maid sometimes. i organized. i threw things out. i swept. i got much accomplished and the place looks pretty darn good. all thats left is laundry folding, dish washing and the bathroom. i might mop and even paint them cabinets by the end of the weekend. doubtful tho, since i think im gonna bake banana bread for the sex and the city gathering, and tomorrow i gotta check out that new gym by me since my membership runs out the first of september as far as i know. also i wanna wash that grey right outta my hair. and by wash i mean dye. full plate.

im gonna come right out and say it: i do wish tim were here this weekend. chantal called, so she's in, and thats awesome, but tim being here would have really been a treat. stupid oregon. so not near quebec. these are the ways of my life. so be it. =) chantal and i will eat fabulouso vegetarian stuff and try that chocolattay and hopefully catch some south park the movie. dont tell her but i bought her a thank you present at the street fair, so it'll be fun to give that to her. wait, watch me forget to.

i have umpteen cd liners to make. they are in a heaping pile to my left. perhaps i should amputate the length of tonights blog and try to squeeze some in. but i also wanna watch letterman. i was telling bowman how ten years ago friday night's big decisions were about which slutty-ish top to wear, and if we'd go to peel and get dronk (three steps beyond drunk) or stay at anita's and get hiiiiiiiigh. (we usually did both). fast forward to ten years later (thanks alanis) and the big decision is law and order or the family guy? letterman or cd liners? christ. i dont mind being settled down...but holy lord i need some action.

i really really want to ride the rollercoasters at la ronde before it shuts down for the season.

so not only was a strike avoided today, but part of the agreement is that contraction wont be brought to the table again until 2006. 4 more years! the boys get to stay together, and thats awesome. but the question remains: will they relocate? will they be in montreal for part of those 4 years, all of them, or none of them? i wish a bronfman would just step up and buy the team and get a new stadium built. all the problems started after the bronfmans sold the team. dammit.

nail update: left thumb nail definitely fucked up on upper right side. oh yeah.

in some award winning procrastination moves, i watched the movie 'where the money is' before getting any cleaning done today. paul newman, dermot mulroney and linda fiorentino. i love paul newman, ever since his masterful tho brief performance in the road to perdition. more than halfway thru the movie there is this shot of armored car guards grabbing a coffee and i sat bolt upright and yelled MONTREAL! because i recognized the sign out front as the mini orange julep sign, from the non orange julep orange julep that i pass whenever i go to a ball game. alex will know the place. sure enough the whole flick was set in montreal. i had no clue. love that. decent movie, too.

ok im distracted by the television, evil toy that it is. martin short is gonna be on though, so that should be entertaining.

perhaps i'll return to write more later, or do liners or some such thing. but for now, i'll be captive of channel 62.

for the record, the album of the day (pardon that ever so clever pun) was blues traveler four. love it.

--the answers are getting harder and harder
and there aint no way to bargain or to barter
but if you've got the angst or the ardor
you might faint from the fight but you're gonna find it
*for every challenge could have paradise behind it*
and if you accept what you have lost and you stand tall
you might just get it back and you can get it all
so now you know why it's a long way to fall
yeah cause it's a long way to fall
cause it's a long ...
... way to fall
stand
stand and walk
stand--

i forgot to mention yesterday that the father figure hath returned and so once again i am a passenger in public transit. i dont really mind...its less of a bitch to be stuck in traffic on a bus than at the wheel for some reason. more removed, less aggravating. plus the subway there is no traffic. i just have to remember to start carrying my book around again.

the temp has dropped. its sweatshirt weather and its groovy. but brrrrrrrrrrrrr! there is no happy medium in this crazy city. its either scorch your balls off hot (and thats hot because i dont even have balls) or shiver yer nips off freezing. ok thats an exaggeration but fuck the wind is blowing in my window and im a gonna haveta close it. yup yup.

everyone, raise your glass in a toast for anita. she done singlehandedly solved my kitchen paint issues. i think im gonna go red walls and *chalkboard gray* cabinets. red and white checkered tablecloth and white or black and white floor. oh baby oh mama woo woo! the weight of the world is lifted from my shoulders. thank you marth...i mean anita.

jimmy fallon currently hosting the mtv awards and me with no cable. oh well.

my hands smell like dog. went to buy water and other liquid supplies and played with eva and now my paws smell like pooch.

the new waiter asked me what my favorite madonna song is. no, he isnt gay. i knew right away: its like a prayer. always has been, because i love a gospel choir. for the record, its derrick's favorite too. anyway, it turned into this debate over which song madonna gained fame with first. i said borderline was first, but new waiter insisted it was lucky star. im still down with borderline, but it occurred to me how much madonna is part of the north american cultural fabric, that an argument as silly as that could occur. anyway, its totally borderline.

other preferred madonna songs:
dress you up, live to tell, oh father/papa dont preach, and the song where in the video she runs around with a little boy dressed like they are poor in the 40s and at the end run out of a movie theater. oh, and express yourself.

i went to the used stuff shop where i had been tipped off about an old wooden ladder for four bucks. i done brought that sucker home. its amazing how much attention you draw when you walk a few blocks with a ladder. suddenly you become the most interesting person in the neighborhood. it must be because people wonder what project you are getting yourself into. that, or i had a really good hair day or something. im using the ladder as a decorative tool, and im loving how it looks in the living room. its sooo nice, collecting old cheap ladders is my New Thing. you heard it hear first. i have a new thing. woo!

looks like tomorrow is the baseball strike. a strike could mean contraction gets fucked. a strike could mean tonight's loss was the last ever game played by a team known as the montreal expos. or it could mean about a zillion other things. what it definitely means is that players and owners all need a good kick in the head. im sorry...but anyone whining about not being paid enough to PLAY when they live like movie stars in a year where everyone in the world realized that firefighters and policemen are the only ones in a position to complain and rightfully so....well....a kick in the head for them. how can they not know how lucky they are, the greedy pieces of crap?? and dont they know that it actually HURTS to think of them this way? that i love the guys on my team, regardless and that them being such total pricks and prima donnas is embarrassing, shameful and hurts. the game will never be the same. NO STRIKE!!!

but a strike that fucks contraction...that allows another montreal expo year...selfishly, thats ok by me. but its all wrong. but who cares...it would mean selig loses what he wanted. and thats all good. its so layered.

not that this sets me apart in any way but i hate being disappointed and here it comes again. my damned hopes get me in trouble all the time. even when i KNOW the way a situation will turn out, i still hope for a different outcome. why do i do this to myself? do i enjoy the disappointment? looks like my labor day weekend off is in vain. oh well. time off is time off is time off. and saturday chantal will be here, and sunday night ive been invited to a sisters soiree of watching sex and the city at anita's house. and lenny is not a sister. =)

work today sucked the big suck. no business at all. at first i was in a great mood anyway. the mexican waiter showed me some salsa moves and it was fun dancing in the empty restaurant, him twirling me all about. he'd be good at a wedding. i guess working at senor frogs does that to a person. but then a stupid customer took both copies of the credit card receipt, so i lost whatever tip they meant to leave me. it stole my good mood in one fell swoop. stupidity abounds. the busboy told me i had a wicked glare going.

tummy aches suck.

i had some fun earlier listening to letigre, who i DIDNT get free posters for this time around, im so bummed about it too because they were really nice but i digress. i was listening to deceptacon and singing into the speakers and it was so fun sing-yelling this:

You bought a new van the first year of yr band
Yr cool and I hardly wanna say "not" because I'm so bored
that I'd be entertained even by a stupid fuckin linoleum floor, linoleum floor
Yr lyrics are dumb like a linoleum floor
I'll walk on it
I'll walk all over you
Walk on it, walk on it, walking one, two
Who? Who? Who? Who?

i was singing with my face right up against the speaker so my loudness was lost in their loudness. fun stuff.

damn stomach ache, round two.

k, thats better.

new survivor sept 19th in thailand. supposed hurricane season. i hope its not the survivors just yelling over the rain and bitching about being soaked. i hope theres some breaks in the weather, and that we get to see alot of thailand. bring on the ethans!

man i been writing this update for hours. i just sneezed. im gonna wrap it up in the here and now. later folks.

oh, i read in the paper that james taylor's upcoming album is being called his best ever work. i might have to check that out. how can anyone top fire and rain?

and i will definitely be checking out queens of the stone age.

and that is that about that.

--been walking my mind to an easy time, my back turned toward the sun
lord knows when the cold wind blows it'll turn your head around--

yankee doodle went to town
riding on a poe-knee
stuck a feather in his cap
and called it mac-a-roe-knee

been too tired to blog. right now not being a big exception, but what the fuck. i have nothing better to do.

strange things afoot in the circle k. could be a weird pivotal turning point in one area of life...but since im not going to elaborate i shouldnt even bring it up. its just on my mind, in my mind, rattling around in there with the rusty bike parts etc. besides thats life right? people change. and einstein said 'youre only as young as the last time you changed your mind'. though its wrong to take that as an exact quote...i prolly butchered it.

bob deniro is in town for the film festival and was part of a press conference for his new movie yesterday. everyone knows deniro takes his craft seriously and doesnt play the celebrity at all. he's not going to smile and wave for the cameras, and he isnt gonna walk around saying 'show me the money' or any catch phrase he is known for. so WHY WHY WHY does a so called professional journalist ask him to recite a few lines from taxi driver??!! how can someone be so fucking stupid and unprofessional and moronic!? christ, if you want to hear him say the lines, RENT THE MOVIE....you will never have him in front of you again, he will likely never answer any other question of yours in this lifetime and THATS WHAT YOU ASK HIM!? a request a monkey would have known in advance he'd deny!? fucking idiots.

i want to buy a tv. but i also need to get my pj posters frickin framed. argh. going to ikea was similar consumer dilemma. wound up with a nice lampshade though. except the big one was too big and the small one i replaced it with now seems too small. mofo.

my apartment is a sty. one more day of work till my long weekend off though, and then i'll have lots of time to clean up around here, seeing as how i think i have the days off in vain. =( must water the plants tonight though.

its getting dark around me and my eyes want to be closed. no lights are on in my apartment.

i am so unsure of what i want to do with my kitchen. i keep thinking i want a diner-style kitchen, but i also love a country kitchen. i want red in there, like a red and white checked tablecloth, and i want lots of glass and chrome and brassy pots, and i think i want some antique green/blue/gray color in there too...but my kitchen is so weird looking i have no idea how to put it together. argh and a half. plus im gonna ask for new flooring in there if my rent is to be raised. and a new vanity in the kitchen. and my ceilings washed. i need an interior decorator on this one.

anyway. im gonna go watch crappy tv.

=)

ten facts about me i wrote for this thread in the newsgroup:

a. i was born in vancouver BC which doesnt sound anywhere near as cool as i
was born in a crossfire hurricane---fact and fact.

b. i lived for nearly a year in san francisco.

c. i have seen 11 grateful dead shows, in various cities: las vegas,
buffalo, highgate, boston, richfield, seattle....and once appeared onscreen
in a fan montage taped day of show in the parking lot.

d. i miss jerry garcia being on this planet as though he were a blood
relative. same with shannon hoon. magic people should get to live forever,
even if they make poor choices.

e. i named my cats after members of pearl jam. and i am not ashamed.

f. my hebrew name is hyphenated and was given to me after my late
grandmothers sisters, sadie and lily.

g. i feel a connection to pearl jam's music that metaphorically could best
be represented by an umbilical cord.

h. ive seen air supply in concert, but i didnt pay for the tickets!!!

i. ive seen bon jovi in concert, and i DID pay for the tickets!

j. i cant believe people have trouble coming up with ten facts about
themselves. i could go on forever. ask anyone who knows me, they will assure
you its a FACT.



--who are you? i really wanna know--

call it sexist, but: there is nothing straight about a male on a stairmaster.
















































-tramps like us, baby we were born to run-

august 25, 2002

ottawa pam's birthday.

a day i ate a mango cut like a flower, on a stick, while walking in the sun at the st laurent street street fair. it was wonderful, every part of the situation...especially the mango itself. so sweet and juicy. i had to floss when i got home. buggery stuff gets stuck in your teeth like a mofo.

things i realized today:

--there are few things tastier than a red delicious apple, when its crisp and crunchy and sweet. snapple has an apple juice made specifically from these apples, and you cant get it here, which is good because i would have to crumble and buy it. regularly. its too good.

--talking to one's best friend is such a simple pleasure, and highly underrated.

--i am bigger than the tip i get. i served a big family that took up 16 seats on my own today. half of them were kids, bratty kids even, and i was patient with them and took good care of them. they were israeli and i was even able to toss in a few hebrew words, just for kicks. the bill was 200 dollars. i would have hoped for at least 30 as my tip. they left me 20. a travesty, no!? yes. but it didnt get to me for one second. i was happy and i knew i did a good job. there was a time where that would have ruined my whole day. today it didnt even ruin a second. gotta love growth.

--i need to find a good vcr head cleaner. it says online that the head cleaning tapes are dangerous to the vcr, but that 'wet' kinds are ok. groovy. luckily a future shop just opened nearby where i works and i can seek info there. doesnt mean i'll get any, in this dvd age, but i'll seek it nonetheless.

--seemingly without any reason, seeing two men holding hands and walking and laughing and talking makes me stupidly happy. it just seems so incredibly gentle.

--i can totally fall victim to advertising. there was an ad for the forrest gump dvd before one of the movies i rented, and it totally made me want want want it. which would mean getting a dvd player. and upgrading to a dvd ready tv. all so i can see bonus footage of a movie i can barely remember. i remember jeremy said that it was emotionally manipulative. smart guy.

--when people are away and then they come back, its good. in the past week ive had three people i love in the sky flying to and from british columbia. none of them were ever on the same flight, but they all got the same movies. changing lanes, and spiderman. funny timing. i missed my friends alot...its better that they're back, but its neat to kind of realize how important they are to me via their absence...not that i didnt know...but sometimes you dont realize youve even missed someone till they get home. and i can ramble like a champion, no?

--some people are REALLY easy to buy for. some people are REALLY freaking impossible to buy for.

--i am REALLY REALLY easy to buy for. things i bought at the street sale:
-belated thank you gift for chantal for mexico. but dont tell her, its a surprise. she coming labor day weekend.
-tabernac tshirt. rock.
-silver ring for thumb
-fake silver ring for thumb or other finger
-yet another fake silver ring that is heavy on my hand but really unique and pretty

its funny cuz i havent worn jewelry on my right hand for ages and ages. and today i had all three new ones on at once, wearing them home from the street fair. i felt like mr t. =) if i had found the last one i bought first, then i would only have bought two. but i didnt so i wound up splurging a wee bit and have some to play with. im lacking in the accessory department, so its fun to find some stuff i like. i swear, the stuff i see in stores mostly makes me so ill that for a long while i didnt know what i liked anymore because i didnt like anything. shoes have been a bitch that way....platforms? no thank you. but i digress.

i guess you have to have a point from which to digress in order to digress. so digress was the wrong word.

i just finished watching legally blonde, which was cute. and i have work at 7 30 tomorrow morning, and after a too long hiatus, tomorrow its back to the fucking gym. no more messing around. besides, i think my membership is up as of september 1st and i have to figure out if im going to stay there or join the one thats opening right by my house. i have to remember to go in there after yoga tomorrow. they are both pretty convenient...especially the one close to here, but if there are no yoga classes im gonna be hurting.

i dont like this new law and order, where its not actors, and we see an actual case. hi, i want the safety of fiction, not the disturbing reality of reality. tv is supposed to be an escape, and even tho alot of what goes on in law and order is based on real happenings, theres a comfort in that its just being acted. reality tv is for game show type stuff, or trailer park type stuff...not courtroom stuff. fucking a, get that shit cancelled, pronto. i bet it does. its not glamorous, and its creepy and flat. its not what tv viewers want. i hope it does.

anyway. i think im gonna get into bed and read some of my book, which i havent paid much attention to lately. its only that way that i can actually finish it, and get into the nick hornby and douglas cooupland stuff that ive fallen behind. woo woo!

have a good monday monday.


--we're different behind the eyes--