habit

youd think someone who fell asleep at 8:30 last night and woke up at 8 oclock this morning just might feel well rested. but not if that person is me.

i had to open the resto monday and tues and barely got any sleep sunday night. 4 45 wake ups can be so unkind. but it was worth it.

monday after work i napped for three hours. when i woke up i had every intention of going to night yoga at 7:30 but my phone rang and it was kelcey commanding me to go to bingo. i resisted but was tempted and they were sitting outside my house and i was all NO TOO TIRED and they were all GET A LIFE and i called anita and she was like DUDE YOU HAVE TO GO BECAUSE IF YOU DONT THEY'LL WIN and that was the winning logic so i suited up and we bingoed it. and wouldnt you know it...we won a hundred and fifty bucks. sounds great right? it was. but we split it 4 ways. but still, a victory is a victory. B 4...you rule.

i want a good new years show. i want to dance with my eyes closed for new years. i want to be in that space. but not phish at msg. not that that would be a punishment...its just too...grandiose. their first show in two years and all. though it would be a par-tay. gonna see whats out there. i know the other ones are playing in albany november 18th i think it was. thats close. gonna look into that too. i listened to dmb on the elliptical yesterday and it was the best. true reflections > two step > granny....i couldnt help myself and was fully dancing on the machine. i didnt care....dmb can be so life affirming even in a song like two step thats overpopulation related. THATS what i wanna do. be life affirmed for new years. the last few new years have been either working or staying home with my friends. both have been fun, especially the friends part....but im not feelin stay at home this year. then again it is september.

last night anita and i went to see the banger sisters. i thought id really not care for it, and at first that was affirmed because it felt like goldie was just moochin off kate hudson's role in almost famous, plus total nepotism playing a black crowes song in the soundtrack...but after the somewhat treacherous opening the movie becomes pretty funny. susan sarandon's daughter is great (and super beautiful and funny) and somewhere as it played i really grew fond of the flick. two nipples up. for the soundtrack too, nepotism not withstanding.

then we came home and i watched the john ritter sitcom and boom was out cold.

tonight went to the ball game with joel. totally fun. expos got clobbered though, and vladdy didnt hit his 40th homer. hope he holds off till saturday night when i think i will next be in attendance. if i could tape survivor and friends i would go tomorrow night, but alas no can do so no can go. vlad will (he WILL) be the fourth player of all time to hit 40 homers and have 40 stolen bases in one season. unless soriano beats him to it. which he wont (he WONT). joel kept cheering 'i love youppi' and 'lets win!'. it was a good time.

so i have an undercover cold. its been going around at work, and i could feel it setting in what with not getting much sleep. it was dry and yucky in the back of my throat, the numero uno 'here comes a cold' sign. i took several shots of oj but woke up today, even after that big sleep, still feeling it. cant be having a change of season cold, hell no. so i bought echinacea and goldenseal and felt much better almost right away. but throughout the day my right nostril would just start trickling, or id have a fit of yawns, or some sneezing. the cold is in me, but the naturopathy is like a thick blanket covering it and keeping it from flooding my system. i gotta beat it because its trying to get out. so its a good thing im still up at midnight and blogging, right? but it was time.

im feeling alot better...i can get through several hours without being focused on billy or on death or on life. i was talking to coach tom about it and he said 'you got to enjoy the day' as in you just never know when it will be your last and its best spent enjoying. and i know thats what billy would want because thats who he was. ive watched dr phil counsel people on oprah numerous times, saying that a life of mourning isnt doing tribute or honor to the life that was lost...its not what they would want for anyone. mourning the lost life has to morph into celebration of the spirit of that person at some oint. i believe that....its just easier said. but im not going to dwell here because i already feel that feeling coming back and i want to keep it at bay, like my cold, even if it is still in me.

tonight eddie vedder took the stage in chicago with bruce springsteen, sharing vocals (or singing back up...the details arent out there yet) on 'my hometown'. what a gorgeous song choice for the two of them. bet it was emotional and stellar. cant wait to hear it. must hear it. ever since the tribute to heroes concert ive taken a new stance on bruce...i thought his song was just so amazing and tho i spent most of my music fan life really not liking bruce, in those few minutes i completely turned a new leaf on him.

it was in the paper that the owners of the bell center (formerly molson center) want bruce to come here....currently the boss is only scheduled for toronto (cough*loser*cough) and supposedly he wont consider coming here for less than a million dollars...which would mean ticket prices would be exorbitant. i know he's likely worth it, but im not about to shell out anything upwards of 50 bucks because even that is too much...but i do want to experience springsteen in concert just for the experience. we'll see.

ben folds has a live album coming out. ani too (actually i think thats out).

i bought echinacea and pomegranate tea. sounds good, eh? i want some, but im too lazy to go and get some. i went to the gym twice today...since i was up i did the one hour power yoga class at 9:30, and then went back and did a cardio/step class from 12-12:45 and another power yoga from then until about 1:30. good stuff, but no wonder im still beat. i guess lazy isnt the right word. =)

i think there was something specific i wanted to talk about here, but i cant for my life remember what that might be. at all. think its time to get horizontal.

survivor thursday. amen.

--i want to have fun, i wanna shine like the sun
i want to be the one you want to see
i want to knit you a sweater, wanna write you a love letter
i want to make you feel better
i want to make you feel free--

thursday night in october: mitch hedberg plays a comedy club in san fran.

the next night, friday: ani difranco plays a venue in oakland.

the next day, saturday: bridge school benefit one: neil young, james taylor (fire and rain live would slay me, but in a good way), tenacious fucking d, the foo fighters, and thom yorke of radiohead. ouch. plus ryan adams (whose voice i love in that gap ad) and jack johnson (who i saw open for and preferred over ben harper). oh, in mountainview california.

the next day, sunday: bridge school two: all of the above, except change the foo fighters for this little band called THE GRATEFUL DEAD. ACOUSTIC. ok, so no jerry...but man its better than nothing. ALOT better.

basically, one of my two favorite comedians. and my favorite music makers with the exception of pearl jam to follow.

hurt me. jesus h christ.

all i need is a lottery win. all i need is a miracle.