habit

i feel so good today.

i went back to the gym. i had been fearing and dreading the treadmill after i think like two weeks of no working out, but it was in vain. when i got on there, and started up save you and running at 6.2 miles per hour, i was just absolutely grinning. and it was easy. the last two minutes of the 12 i do before weights i ran at 6.4 while watching and listening to the eminem video for whatever that song is that goes 'the music, the moment, you own it you better never let it go, you only get one shot do not miss your chance to blow this opportunity comes once in a lifetime'.

then i went and did weights and man, damn if i didnt have a good time doing that too. then back to the treadmill and then to the elliptical and then sit ups...i was there for nearly 3 hours and i dug it heartily...except when my batteries ran out. mofo.

there are new classes listed for this new session, including yoga dance and toning on the big bouncy ball. plus my power yoga teacher told me she is gonna drop the power business and just do straight up ashtanga yoga, which makes me very happy. add hip hop class to that and im pretty pleased. not to mention actual creative writing class which starts on monday. good stuff.

i am committed to making this the year i finally get satisfied about where my body is. im not gonna eat anything anymore for the last three hours of my day...no more eating before bed, period. im gonna drink me a ton of water, and eat breakfast daily, even if its just a smoothie with protein powder (which i bought yesterday) in it. i made smoothies with this soy juice thats flavored 'orange sherbet' and its fucking tasty as hell, with a banana tossed in there and some ice. yum yum.

ive been pretty committed since september to going to the gym, but ive been eating like a cochon (read: pig) the whole time...fries, chips, baked goods at work...you name it. well, not no more. or at least, not as much. and knowing this, that im really dedicated to me on this, feels grand. but i need me some new live pearl jam to work out to. i LOVE the riot act songs, but i think some of them would just be faster live, and thus more condusive to elevating heart rates. i fucking LOVE green disease and bushleaguer. such great songs.

right now the junior men's canada team is playing the US team. when i left the gym it was 1-1. go canada! even in the ten minutes i saw of the game that i didnt even know was being played, i got so into it. it felt like the winter olympics and man i dug those.

how many of you just skip ahead when i start talking about working out? hehe, you think im not onto you? well, you can all bite me.
right on my ever-shrinking ass. =P

there's a little skating rink set up in the park right near my house. i so need skates. gallahooch, bring home the catty-log, wouldja?

anita has offered me her seamstress skills for my birthday. therein, i can choose a material that she approves of for anything in mah house....new curtains, or a tablecloth...maybe both if i put on my best begging face. doncha wish she was your best friend? yeah you do, you just dont know it. and tomorrow night is bingo. woot woot!

i met someone today who is starting from scratch all over again. she left her man, who abused her. she is the first person ive ever met that actually lived this, and tho right now she has nothing she is starting to feel her power back. i liked her immediately.

oh! hear my cry! this morning i ran out of mentadent. do you feel my pain? i need refills!! who's got my refills? who's gonna be my pusher this time? my old pusher is heading to sunny skies and kiwis and it just wont be in his game plan. come on, hook a sister up.

well, i just came to a block and stopped writing. so i think im done. i have early wake up tomorrow, so i best head to the showers now rather than sit here and force some shite out that nobody cares about, including me.

rich is coming to town, but like for one day and his schedule is jammed. its well timed tho, during my days off, so i'll wedge myself into that schedule somehow.

and that, my friends, is that.

--are you looking for answers, to questions under the stars?
if along the way you are growing weary, you can rest with me until a brighter day, its ok--

first day of 2003. went and saw about schmidt with my dad. it made me cry. it also made me laugh. then cry again, then laugh. a bunch. jack nicholson is fucking awesome. i dont think anyone else could have pulled this role off, and its a character that has like zero cool. i smell oscars. its funny because the big movies everyone's talking about lately are SO different. its gonna be a good oscars this year cuz i done seen so many of the movies.

had a few phone calls from joel overnight. my darling friend joel is so saucy when he is sauced. his word choice gets very funny...the word of the night last night was 'unmysterious'. i might have been annoyed that my phone was ringing between 4 and 6 in the morning, except it was joel. im real glad the lad is back from florida.

went to the casino tonight with tim for his last night's activity. promptly lost the 60 bucks i took out of the bank machine in the casino into the slots. promptly lost the 40 dollars i had left in my wallet to the slots. promptly stopped playing. but tim won him some dough, and threw me a 20 to mess with. guess what! i promptly lost it to the slots. then i told myself no more.

then the casino said MORE STEPHANIE MORE (i get this all the time though so im used to it) and i gave in and played another 20. and somehow, by some miracle, i won a ton of quarters. i went to cash them in thinking id have half my dough back, and instead WHAMMO, i was even. i won back everything i had lost. i had one big payout of three fat red sevens and it was all i could do to contain myself.

after i cashed out i took the loonies i had been handed and decided to play those and only those. i walked around dropping them into random machines and won 25 dollars like that. i kept plunking them in and walking away if they didnt pay out, and then it happened again. 3 red 7s. except this time it was on the dollar machine. i won 200 dollars. I WON 200 DOLLARS. I WON 200 DOLLARS!!! joyous joy, my rent is partially free for january, AND i can buy that sweet but overpriced ball cap i saw at roots. happy happy joy joy.

mac is the cutest cat on the planet. he is just so friendly and adorable and playful and cuddly. he is the ultimate cat. i love eevee too, but she has a different personality than mac. mac is also a pain in the ass attention hog, and a bully of a brother...but it dont matter. eevee sits all royal like on her chair and does adorable stuff...but does it on her own. mac is more interactive.

what zelse? not too much actually. tim messed with the antenna on my tv and actually managed to get fox AND abc! suh-weet. i thought it was good for nothing. now if i can work it to pick up nbc aka conan o brien, i'll be really happy.

i called costa and told him that i could work tomorrow, an emergency rush shift if he needed me. i hope he doesnt call because now that i won back what i lost and then some, i really want another day off for my mini vacation.

and that is that is that and that is the full story.

have a good night. as of tomorrow you have 31 count em 31 shopping days till my birthday. =)

so many short ethnic looking guys at the casino tonight, with gelled hair and spiffed out. it made me ache to see billy. i dont imagine that will ever go away.

ok, goodnight.

--but in the garden of simple
where all of us are nameless
you were never anything but beautiful to me
and, you know, debt never really owned you
you just carried them around you
and then one day you put 'em down
and found your hands were free

so now it's early in the morning
at the longitude of memphis
and the sun is setting sweetly on hong kong
and the big plan is just to keep spinning
cuz the big bang is only just beginning
and sometimes it's all that we can do just to hang on

and what i meant to say is xxoo which means i'm thinking of ya
which means i've been thinking of you
all along--

2003, welcome on in. now behave, wouldja?

im gonna start off the year by getting in touch with me by lifting this survey thing from kirk d's friend's site. i dont know kirk d's friend, and as a mere acquaintance of mr kirk d (his words) i hope the lifting doesnt result in legal action.

1. Your name spelled backwards: einahpets (pronounced eye-na-pets)
2. Where were your parents born?: mommy in new york city, daddy in montreal
3. Do you know how to pump your own gas?: duh.
4. What's your favourite restaurant?: chu chai
5. Last time you swam in a pool?: july, also the last time i swam in the ocean.
6. Have you ever been in a school play? yessiree. fiddler on the roof.
7. How many kids do you want?: im not answering this.
8. What kind of music do you dislike most?: bad music.
9. Are you registered to vote?: im canadian, yo.
10. Do you have cable?: nopers.
11. Have you ever ridden on a moped?:hmmm. yes. those things everyone rides in bermuda. is that a moped?
12. Ever prank call anybody?: oh yeah. poor preteens. caller ID totally kills their fun.
13. Ever get a parking ticket?: oh yeah, you try living round here and not getting one.
14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?: i cant see myself doing it unless i was on the amazing race. and then youre damn straight.
15. Furthest place you ever traveled?: israel.
16. Do you have a garden?: in my mind.
17. What's your favourite comic strip?: lately its been dilbert. how odd. i also like boondocks. smart stuff.
18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?: yes, but i bluff on some of the french parts.. i also know the israeli one and the united states one. i like both of those better than canada's.
19. Bath or shower, morning or night?: baths only in the evening or night, showers whenever.
20. Best movie you've seen in the past month?: i really enjoyed catch me if you can and gangs of new york. go leo!
21. Favourite pizza topping?: mushrooms
22. Crisps or popcorn?: what the fuck are crisps? dude, its chips. at the movies, popcorn. otherwise, chips.
23. What colour lipstick do you usually wear?: clear.
24. Have you ever smoked peanut shells?: id rather smoke crisps.
25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?: possibly at camp and aint no way i won. but the best was dressing up the guys for the drag ones. good times, good times.
26. Orange juice or apple?: i been spoiled by work and oj has to be fresh now...i prolly like apple better but it makes me burp.
27. Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where did you dine?: tim, harvey's. hehehe 'dine'.
28. Favourite type of chocolate bar? totally whatchamacallit. (hey, me and this josh dude have some shite in common).
29. When was the last time you voted at the polls?: i voted in a basketball gym last time, and im so bad with chronology i couldnt tell you when it was.
30. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?: i had one of stein's mom's home grown cherry tomatoes and it was killer, this past summer.
31. Have you ever won a trophy?: trophy...no.
32. Are you a good cook?: im good at following directions in the kitchen, so when a recipe is good im a good cook.
33. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?: a picture of a friend's friend i think. it was share-time.
34. Ever order an article from an infomercial?: never. but ive been tempted.
35. Sprite or 7-Up? sprite tastes too chemically. i like 7up.
36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work?: its been rare that i havent.
37. Last thing you bought at a pharmacy?: not telling. no, not condoms.
38. Ever throw up in public?: hehehe, there's photo evidence so i cant deny it. never eat the sand at disco beach in acapulco.
39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?: true love is something i cant touch. i can, however, touch me some millions. ive got true love, and its with my kitties and my band. so show me the money.
40. Do you believe in love at first sight?: yes.
41. Ever call a 1-900 number?: no.
42. Can exes be friends?: yes, with time and effort. adam is proof of 40 and 42 for me. bastard is in nyc right now seeing phish. speaking of phish and bastards, kirk, you got simple stuck in my head.
43. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital?: oh my god. it was billy. =(
44. Did you have a lot of hair when you were a baby?: wow, its hard to be light and trivial now. but billy was all about light and silly so i'll buck up. yeah, my mom always says i was a hairy ugly little newborn.
45. What message is on your answering machine?: me mumbling about trying my cell. its better when i dial in for my messages. i get to hear eddie vedder say 'stephanie, thank you and i hope you have a great life'. never gets old.
46. What's your all-time favourite Saturday Night Live Character?: everyone in the jeopardy skits, especially trebek, connery and norm as burt reynolds.
47. What was the name of your first pet?: max
48. What is in your purse?: my face moisturizer, wallet, change, pons, postcard i bought today from the museum of architecture that shows bottlecaps from expo 67 for warren, lip crap, cell phone, gloves, hair brush.
49. Favourite thing to do before bedtime?: watch mindless tv, but please lord no informercials.
50. What is one thing you are grateful for today?: mac and anita. but thats two. so i'll say: the expos.

so enough with the indulgence. today was very blah, and its hard to be blah when you are trying to keep someone entertained, and add that its new years and its all the worse. but the day was doomed from the getgo....got up, total freezing rain. barely slept because stayed up late chatting with bowman and bassholes were out of control. eevee scratched the shit out of my arm and foot, and within five minutes of that i got my period, and look, we're fresh out of toilet paper. joy joy.

we went to the architecture museum and the coolest thing was this little hallway that someone made as an experiment to light. it was glowing lime green and reflecting mirror images everywhere, ceiling, floor, and on both sides. and it was narrow so to be in it was really cool. felt like a video or something. tim took a picture or two, hope they turn out. the rest was kind of disappointing though. i love elaborate architecture, but most of their collection was a tease. just pieces of materials and very few examples of actual finshed work.

then we walked some on ste catherine street, in the damp and miserable wet. we were both really tired and flat, and he wanted to see a football game and that was fine with me. im good in a sports bar and i had my new dougie coupland book with me anyway, and i wanted them groovy nachos. we went to an old hangout of mine from the planet hollywood days, but they didnt have the right game, so we went to champs. the day took another hit, because their kitchen was closed and they booted us at 5. we headed to the grocery store so we'd have breakfast goods for tomorrow, and boom, they wouldnt let us in, sorry, they closed at 5. mothertruckers.

so we get home and tim just plops in front of the tv and we've both just got nothing. we decided to hit the casino for new years, but our steam was clearly running out bigtime. we ordered in some chinese and watched frailty again (still, i have questions). i could tell he was bumming about just being here with very little booze but he was feeling as lame as me anyway. he decided to save the casino for when we'd be more into it, and i was relieved. we had some sparklin wine that was tasty and it was just a very quiet new years. before he went to bed he sat by me and said he was sorry for being a grump and that tomorrow would be better and that he was glad he's here and whatnot, so that was nice. i was equally as tired and grumped. tomorrow will easily be better.

the manager at champs was telling me that every single televised expos game will be shown this summer. every single one. that it will air in the bar's small room and i hope he be speaking the truth, because im ready to eat me some veggie burgers and watch me some ball. so far herges is gone, which is fine, old man gallaraga is gone, which is also fine, and troy oleary is gone...which stings a bit. good player. but we've got lots of talent in the outfield so it'll be ok. i want to hang on to javi and bartolo and vlad and vidro and cabrera and wilky. these are essential. tatis, oh tatis. should have been flushed last season. man, bring on the boys of summer. you know you are a baseball addict when youre lookin at the spring training schedule and seriously considering if getting there is a possibility. (its so not).

top 5 highlights of 2002:
the winter olympics (sad, but true)
having the expos as customers and being at many many games
jacer eraser
meheeko and reuinted with chantal
joining gym near my house and enjoying going regularly and steadily and seeing results. proud.

would be nice if 2003:
meant dreams come true for my friends and myself
hmm...beyond that what could matter? oh. maybe if the world wouldnt get blown to smithereens by crazy men with big dangerous stuff. that would be decent.

now reading: all families are psychotic, the aforementioned dougie coupland. next up after that: how to be good, the beloved nick hornby.

the first song i will listen to this year: love boat captain, video format. yes, thats nice.

know what? im goin to chat with some friends.

later bloggerers.

--all you need is love, love, love--