habit

fuck im catching a cold. im feeling a mite overwhelmed. this is because:

im a catchin a cold. pay attention.

i have a story deadline for monday, and another short story due the following one, along with another assignment. and being run down doesnt get the creativity flowing.

i started my new job, my last training was tonight. tomorrow i go in for the menu test and then shortly after that money will be in my pocket again. halleluljah. but its so far from ideal. it takes 90 minutes round trip to get there and home. its filled with customers i dont want to see, and on splits i will be stuck there for like 3 hours. thats 4.5 hours wasted at that place in one day. i dont like that at all. not that im always ms productive, but i certainly dont want to be sitting on my ass in the middle of the day like that, and be there for practically 12 hours. thats eating a big chunk of my life. but...the money will be good, and come spring i am TOTALLY gonna BEG to transfer to the location that is 15 minutes away and full of glorious tourists. yes yes yes YES i MUST make that happen.

three magic letters: p. m. s. have been wanting to eat and eat and eat and eat. good thing i dont keep anything to dangerous in the house.

the house. its a fucking mess. but who has time to clean? fuck, not so long ago all i had was free time. not no more. i cant wait to just get a routine going. all the not knowing is stressful, not knowing when i'll be at work etc, what days to ask for off. right now im asking for mondays off and tuesday nights off. as soon as class is over thats gonna switch to tuesday nights off and all of thursday off, and the rest of the time i can work. might as well make as much there during march as i possibly can. even if it eats away all my free time. even if i have to get up at 6:30 in the morning to get to the gym before work.

i had some good luck, and im not talking about the quarter i picked up while walking home from the metro. the govt of canada decided in MY favor, about unemployment insurance. the amount is pitiful, but thats not what its about. its the principle. its about the fact that my former workplace got motherfucking nailed for trying to scam their way out of paying it to me, like they scam everyone and everything else. there is such rich, glorious satisfaction in that, i cant even tell you. i totally thought they were going to get away with it. they said i quit. lying bastards. i feel so vindicated, id love to just show up there and strut around like mick jagger, with my chest all puffed out. thank you to my wonderful country for kicking them square in the balls. it couldnt have happened to a nicer company.

i had some bad luck too. natural gas went up by FORTY percent. FORTY! and i heat my house with natural gas. you can imagine how much i look forward to my next bill.

this past week marked the tenth anniversary of the deaths of my friends dean browman and solly mamane. they died in a car accident together. i remember finding out so clearly, and the night before the funerals even moreso. the funerals themselves, being wtih cari and warren and elliot...i remember it all. the last time i saw solly, how special dean was. when they died, it was so strange for the friends they left behind, and most were alot ALOT closer with them than i ever was....but what a robbery for them. anyway, its just something significant i wanted to mention.

im going to write a book. both my short stories were about the same character at different times in her life, and both were really really well received by the class. i dont know if i'll make it a series of snapshots from her life, or make it a continuous story, but im going to do it. i have to make a list of stories i want to tell...ive got lots. i just read an ani interview at the onion the other night, and in it she says how when it boils down to it, all of us are just five stories that we tell and re-tell. well, ive got alot more than that right now and i dont want to forget them. so a list is in the future.

and thats it for now. i gotta get some shut eye because tomorrow i have so much to do. gotta get up and do my cardio day at the gym, then come home and memorize the wines we have by the glass, then go and write the stupid test, then come home and write the assignment for monday and do a bunch of reading...and possibly hang out with my dad who returned yesterday to the city. he has to lose weight so much that it scares me. its not a joke. thank goodness he isnt smoking anymore.

anyway....over and out muchachos. feel free to write or call me and say: DO IT FOR THE MONEY, JUST PUT UP WITH IT, YOU CAN DO IT, etc. but be careful, i warned i have pms. =)

xo

--no time frame for what i need to do today, here in our sleepyhouse--