habit

in case you were interested, my miserable asshole zero personality favoritist boss is still a prick. two months till he's history. two months of me biting my tongue and doing deep breathing to deal with the shit he throws my way. motherfucker. but when he's gone the new boss is someone i really like and who treats us all the same...gasp!? a *professional*?? could it really be?

i would tell you what happened in hip hop class but id be scared it would be used against me. it was fucking fun though, believe you me, and it had nothing to do with four of us in a circle rapping the theme song to fresh prince of bel air. not a thing, i assure you.

hip hop tonite, steph mixed in some old school 80s shit that i love. poison by bell biv devoe, it takes two by rob base and dj e.z rock, and push it by salt n pepa. id forgotten how much i really loved s+p. hehe, what 32 year old jewish white woman DOESNT still have them deep in her heart.

in the last two days i have purchased two make up related items. oh my god, can you believe it? ITS A GIRL!

speaking of which i dreamed a ways back that pam had her baby, and it was a girl, and it was named stella raye. raye being my late grandmother's name. she asked me if it was ok if they use that potentially if it is a girl, so its not like it was random. yesterday i blew up a picture of me and zaydie splashing bubby in the lake by the old country house, and stuck it in a really pretty frame for mom for her birthday, and shipped it off this morning. i expect she will bawl. she commented on what a great picture it is when she was here in october. yay, i know she'll love it.

last night i had a stress dream about work which morphed into a nightmare of sorts. i say of sorts because it was understood that it was a movie that i was watching...or writing, im not too clear on that. but there was a guy outside my building who said 'they kept me in that hole for years' (hello saddam?) and pointed at this little tiny tunneled out section. then we went inside and there were three people there, and a fireplace and he made them put their faces right up against the flames so that the fire gradually had at their skin. it was pretty terrifying and sick actually, and my alarm went off to make it go away. *shudder*. when i wake up after a dream like that thats so vivid and crazy i think:

1. god, the brain that came up with that lives in my body, someone get the straight jackets

and

2. would that make for a good screenplay base?

even walking home from hip hop i wondered if the group friendship we've developed there and are still developing would be the base for a good story worth telling. i dunno.

man, i want a laptop.

my face is itchy. fucking winter. dries my skin out like a bastard every year.
ah, doesnt my writing reek of the xmas spirit? then again why should it? xmas aint the holiday of My People. cant wait to fry me up some latkes, sweet potato ones. gonna bring em to work and give em to my dad and amigos and should be fun. gonna have some help from my north carolina associate as well with those, which should increase the enjoyability of said project.

dec 23 used to be my parents wedding anniversary. now its just eddie vedder's birthday. december 23.

and with that i bid you good night.

--now this is the story all about how
my life got flipped, turned upside down--