habit

yikesies. me no writey long time.

work.
work out.
eat.
sleep.
computer.
tv.
repeat.

got it?

potentially interesting but likely dull ass observations:

1. after an irrational yet unstoppable fear of being shot at the black eyed peas concert or being the only white girl in her 30s at the show, i was really surprised to find that i couldnt spot even one black person there. it was all white. what that means, i dont know. nothing, likely. for what its worth, id see them again. where is the love is my favorite song of the year, hands down, and if it makes it to my all time list i wouldnt be surprised.

2. the last episode of friends contained a snippet of yellow ledbetter. more surprise for me, on the couch looking very much like macaulay culkin on the home alone posters as soon as the opening notes rang out. i missed enough episodes of friends that if i ever feel like laughing at joey or ross or chandler i can just rent dvds. i dont care that theyre off the air...but the boys were good for a few laughs. especially joey's writing. excellent.

3. people telling me i look as though ive lost weight (i have, despite the horrific scale incident which showed it was 5 pounds below zero when i was off it and i was thinking id lost 5 pounds i never lost) caused me to be less strict with myself. ie eat a container of sugar free ice cream in two days, instead of five or six. 'you look so good' meant me feeling good and saying thank you...and then eating a bag of popcorn and trying a caramel kit kat, working out half assed and feeling lazy and lethargic. self sabotage much? you bet your ass. the truth is, im your classic underachiever. i know it and it frustrates me, but its a self fulfilling prophecy. my body is betraying that, moving closer to its healthiest form ever. so recognition of that sets off some psychological STOP SUCCEEDING force in me. hi, my name is stephanie, and im fucking fucked. i wouldnt be working so hard to get there if i didnt really want it, so why am i simultaneously trying to fuck it up.

4. can we add a day to the week to do all the things we mean to do but never have time for. i have a list of the people i have to call back, but its rarely a good relaxing phone time. staci, cari, kelcey, pam...i swear, i mean to, i do! empty fridge...i will fill you, i will. broken vaccum i really want to bring you in. dirty dishes....well, you'll be there awhile, who am i kidding. *sigh*.

5. where is my fucking lottery win. dammit. ok thats not interesting. but really, where is it.

6. girly alert. i saw a little pink top in a store window and gasped at its cuteness. i actually got off the bus (only two blocks from home really) and tried it on straight away. far too many minutes of deliberation later, the purchase transaction was through. its a little girly kind of shirt, all crinkly and elasticky at the tube top, that flares out and has sweet multicolored threads through it and a big pink flower pinned to the top too. its adorable and i feel like a piece of little girl's birthday cake in it, despite the potential pregnancy wear effect it may or may not have. i had to have it. cant wait to wear it.

upcoming:

-tomorrow: mother's day. going to ball park with father for warren cromartie bobblehead day. well what do you want, mother lives in vancouver. warren cromartie, first base, #49, the reason i love baseball the way i do. met him at about 7 and he smiled down at me his big gap toothed grin and called me sweetpea. will tell him sappy story. will ask him to sign cap, photo, and take new photo. actual bobblehead not so important in this scenario. also, three hour survivor finale extravaganza at night. i dont even know who i want to win. rupert maybe, but i cant help it, ive fallen under the rob and amber spell. i mean, how stupid are those people who dont vote one or the other off week after week? just so stupid.

-today: chantal in town till tomorrow. 85% chance chuchai will maldigest in me before said baseball game.

out.