Foxe's Haven

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By AmasterMnd

Airbrush by SorayamaIt is very thrilling for your sub to know she is the subject of your discipline. She wants rules and limits set for her and knows there will be consequences for not obeying them. If there are no consequences than she cannot feel the control that she longs for. Accepting a spanking where the focus is on correcting her behavior rather than for her own pleasure is proof of her submission to you. It makes your control of her very real. There is a big distinction between a spanking given for the pure enjoyment of it and one given as punishment. Through many pleasure spankings are given under the guise of punishment for misbehaving, it's clear that the focus is on its eroticism and the "punishment" aspect is just a pretense. Some submissive women would never want a spanking they thought was given as a punishment. For them, it is a completely pleasurable experience and they don't want them to be associated with a "punishment" in any form. However, there are some submissive women who love to be spanked as a punishment and there are several reasons for this. We all grew up knowing that spankings were given as a punishment and though now as adults we find them pleasurable, the connection between spankings and punishment still remains and can be a very hot erotic trigger for the sub. If she started having spanking fantasies at a young age, when having your bottom paddled and being punished are one in the same, they will often revolve around the idea of being punished for some reasons, whether real or imagined. Because society has a negative view of D/s and SM, may women who crave a spanking or whipping often have great conflicts about it, wondering how they could possibly be so "strange" or "weird". It is often not an easy admission to make, so it's much easier to rationalize the desire for a spanking by connecting it to a wrong doing in order to "earn" a spanking rather than having the freedom to simply ask their lover for one.

THE DESIRE TO BE PERFECT

There is a tendency in some submissive women to be "perfect." Though this can be an admirable goal, it can often be taken to extremes and that's something to be aware of. I am now talking about the desire to strive to improve, to make an effort to do the best job possible, and as we know, that takes a great deal of energy. Here is a quote that illustrates this point: "I started thinking about why punishment appealed to me and I wasn't sure if it was just another way to test limits or the thought of the luxury of having something "make" me do the things I really want to do anyway…but, instead, I allow life (work, fatigue) to get in the way. I have very high expectations for myself…I am lucky in the fact that I am intelligent and beautiful…but I think given these "gifts" that they should be utilized to the fullest extent…"

A submissive woman like this wants to be "pushed" into making a greater effort with herself. She knows what she is capable of achieving and wants help in making it a reality. To me, this is one of the most positive aspects of spankings treated as punishment. As her Master, your responsibility is to take care of her and to see she does what is best for her. You need to work with her to be sure her rules and limits are for her own benefit and help her to meet her own personal goals. If structured this way, the focus of the spanking is not because she was "bad", but rather she is being spanked to help her improve herself. In this way, your discipline of her is another way you can show her your love and care. Here is a quote from a woman who loves the thought of being punished for not meeting her own standards of behavior for herself. "One of my fantasies is to have someone in my life just for the purpose of correcting my faults. He would make me keep a list of all my misbehavior, being late for work etc. Eating junk food, or nor going to the gym might also be on the list. I would have to keep a list and once a week he would come and read the list. He would make me describe each incident, he would lecture me about it, and he would establish a separate punishment for each incident on the list. And I would be told over and over what I am being punished for, or would be required to recite it to him. Twelve swats of the paddle for this, six strokes for that, etc. He would read them off the list in random order, call me out of the corner at any moment too take my next licking and send me back to the corner afterward." This is one of my favorite quotes because it so clearly illustrates the connection between behavior and its punishment. There is no doubt in her mind on why she is being punished and she accepts her punishment knowing how much it will help her to improve her behavior in the future.

For a sub, it is quite a luxury to have a disciplinarian in their life and to not have to rely solely on their own will-power. We all have chores to do that are not particularly enjoyable and if left undone it weighs on our minds and becomes a burden. As her Master, you can provide the "incentive" she needs to get what needs to be done finished and out of the way so it does not hang over her and drain her energy.

The thought and anticipation of being punished for not doing something is often extremely exciting and this enables the sub to tap into her sexual energy to complete her cores. For example, scrubbing the kitchen floor is not much fun but the knowledge that she's in for a good spanking if it's not completed can add tremendous sexual energy to her task. You can also assist her in this by telling her that her work will be "inspected" and if not found adequate she will be disciplined. By the way, the work "inspection" is a very "hot" trigger for most subs. Knowing her work will be reviewed helps her to focus on the task at hand to do the kind of quality work she really wants to do but has to struggle with finding sufficient energy.

input.gif (2759 bytes)Although this type of thing does not appeal to me, I have spoken to submissives who truly enjoy this type of thing. The only other thing I would caution on would be that it does not become a "game for the sub" so that the meaning of the discipline and submission is lost.

PUNISHMENT AS A WAY OF ABSOLUTION AND FORGIVENESS

Another aspect of being "punished" is that it allows her to let go of any self-imposed "guilt" over her behavior. This is especially important for those women who strive to be perfect and have the tendency to be self-critical. This can be compounded ig she was raised in an environment where past mistakes were never forgotten but were continually brought to her attention. When she is punished, she can face her mistake, accept her punishment as a motivation to improve (not for being "bad"), be completely forgiven and then to happily move on.

SOME CAUTIONS OVER PUNISHMENT SPANKINGS

Since a punishment spanking is going to be harder for her to endure than one given for pleasure, you want to be sure she is in the right mental head space for taking one. In other words, she must feel the spanking is deserved, so my advice here is never punish her for something left unclear. Make your rules very clear and specific so she knows exactly when she is breaking them. If it helps, set time deadlines so she can't claim she was just going to do it.

Another caution here about being consistent. If you punish her one week for breaking a rule and let the same infraction go the next, you are giving her very mixed and confusing signals which will make it difficult for her to take your control seriously, and this will have very negative consequences to both your roles. She will need to test you until she feels secure you are going to follow through. So, please be consistent.

PREPARING HER FOR PUNISHMENT

A punishment spanking is often more filled with ritual than most any other scene and draws very much on her anticipation of an event that she knows will be a test and challenge to her. Sending her to her room to await you should excite her greatly even though she knows the spanking may not be enjoyable. Making her fetch the implement used in her correction is an added erotic embarrassment. You may want to have her strip in advance and go to the corner to reflect upon her infraction and what steps she is going to take in the future to avoid a similar lapse. Or, you may want to have her place herself face down on the bed with a pillow under her hips and paddle beside her. If you want to see just how exciting the anticipation of a punishment can be, have her wait at least 10 minutes before you come into the room and then check her wetness. You may want to lecture her on her behavior, emphasizing exactly what she did to earn this correction, and during the spanking itself, pause several times and give her the chance to promise better behavior in the future. This is important as it keeps the emphasis on the punishment as motivation to improve her behavior and not because she was "bad" or displeased you for not getting it done. The focus of the punishment is less on her pleasure (even though it will at least initially be very exciting) so you may want to give her less of a warm up than usual before increasing the intensity of the spanking. If you tell her in advance how many strokes she is to be given it may help her to endure the spanking, knowing when the end will come. If this is the second spanking for same offense, be sure to increase the number of spankings so she gets the idea that a future lapse will be met with more severity.

As further confirmation of your roles, after the spanking she should thank you for taking the time and effort to discipline her, and then it's up to you if you want to ravish her or send her to the corner! The point I am making here is that even though this is "punishment" there's no reason it cannot end in pleasure for her. After all, she has been "punished" and all is forgiven.

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